To give my toddler a bit of bread?

[ChequeredPasta]

I imagine this has already been done to death, and would get the answer if I could be arsed to scroll...
At Waitrose the other day. Put a french bread stick in the trolley, which my toddler (2) saw, and started reaching for it. Told her no, to wait, but she is an untameable beast became upset. So..... I tore off the end and gave it to her BEFORE paying One of the staff saw, and gave me a stinker of a look.

Now, my Mum used to do this with us. But, my Mum's understanding of social convention is.... interesting.
WIBU?!

[RhiannonOHara]

Would you open a pack of washing detergent give some to a friend who was desperate to do some washing but couldn't afford to buy

Do what now?

Basically you are stealing by what you do.
Basically she isn't. This has been gone over so many times.

[gamerchick]

It all boils down to as long as you don't mind people thinking you're lazy parenting then crack on.

I do love the technical shit being trotted out. But if someone smokes in a perfectly legal place they get hung drawn and quartered. Technically they're not breaking any rules either.

I also love how people are not joining the dots up to why some places provide snacks at the entrance to a store. Could it be because they don't like people nomming all around it and would like them to stop?

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

The stealing point is moot but the opening a pack of x, y, z is not as long as whatever the pack was went into the trolley to be paid for. The washing powder analogy doesn't work in that respect but that was my point earlier.... what is 'off limits' for snacking around the supermarket? Anything? If so, why - if you're accepting of bread snacking?

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I'd pondered that myself gamerchick. Along the lines of "Since you simply must eat whilst shopping, let's give you something and hopefully all the packets will stay closed..".

[Greenicicle]

I have always done this in france and in the uk. If you havent left thr shop without paying then don't see the problem. I would rather see that than see a child in the main part of the trolley with outdoor shoes on. That makes me boak

[Voice0fReason]

Is it really okay to eat bar-coded, not-weight-dependent food in a super market? If so, what's to stop adults doing so?
Nothing. It's absolutely fine for adults to do this too.

OK next time I go shopping I'll open something and start using it before I've paid for it. Lets say I go into WH Smith and open a pack of pens so that I can address an envelope.
Lets see how the shop assistants react. I don't think it would end well."
No problem at all doing that. I've done that in Boots with a packet of plasters, Body Shop with some lip salve, Superdrug with handcream, the newsagents with a bottle of water and the Post Office with a packet of envelopes.

[ShovingLeopard]

gamerchick it's not always down to 'lazy parenting'. I sometimes do this with my two year old, sometimes don't. I only do it if we are shopping at a time she would usually be snacking. If it's not snack time, she is not bothered by going without.

Also, as some people have mentioned, there are sometimes special needs or circumstances in play, that you would be unaware of as an observer. We all have our struggles, and it seems a bit harsh to me to judge people on such a small (and, let's face it, trivial) issue, while having no idea of the backstory.

[gandalf456]

Who does washing up while going round a supermarket? I don't get the analogy. Sorry.

And isn't it' teaching' children habits, not 'learning' them?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

I don't really understand the accusation that it is "lazy parenting". Sometimes it's about knowing your child, understanding what situations are likely to be challenging and finding strategies to deal with them to get through day without drama.

Toddler DS hated getting in to a supermarket trolley. Hated it. If I'd tried to make it a battle of wills he'd have won every time because toddlers have no qualms about screaming and kicking the trolley for the duration of a shopping trip.

I quickly learned to distract him by getting him to look for the bananas (a favourite food, always near the entrance) then a breezy "would you like to eat one now? Let's sit you up here and we can open one!" would have him eagerly holding up his arms to get in rather than screaming and kicking.

I don't think that is lazy - it's an active parenting choice based on knowing my child's behaviours. There are plenty of other opportunities in the day to teach patience. It's not giving in to pestering. It's just aligning a healthy snack with a shopping trip to minimise the potential for tantrums.

[mathanxiety]

OK next time I go shopping I'll open something and start using it before I've paid for it. Lets say I go into WH Smith and open a pack of pens so that I can address an envelope.
Lets see how the shop assistants react. I don't think it would end well.

Been there, done that, as I mentioned upthread, with tissues and tampons.

Result - opened boxes were scanned at the checkout, I paid for the entire grocery order, nobody batted an eye.
Secondary result - I did not abandon my trolley and rush home to take allergy meds and lie in a darkened room with a wet washcloth over my bleary eyes, or use a tampon from my existing stash at home.
The supermarket got my money despite the problems that beset me. A win win situation!

I also love how people are not joining the dots up to why some places provide snacks at the entrance to a store. Could it be because they don't like people nomming all around it and would like them to stop?

Where I shop, they give out all sorts of samples of items from the bakery section as well as cubes of cheese, little pieces of chocolate, little bits of ham on cocktail sticks, tiny little mouthfuls of wine... This is not sales people promoting a brand or a product and including coupons when you take a sample - it's the bakery and deli trying to get people to buy their wares.

The employees at the deli always used to ask me if my DCs would like a piece of cheese or sliced meat if I placed a deli order, lo these many years ago... Quite often, if a DC liked the item I would buy half a pound of it.

It was the same tactic used by heroin salespeople a few blocks to the east.

[mathanxiety]

It’s called customer service, and if you’re paying anyway, it reflects better on us as a business to be accommodating and friendly than it does to be po-faced, pinched, and tutty.

So no, we don’t give two short shts that you’re using product before you pay - but I just wanted to make the point that it isn’t because were minimum wage slaves or anything lol. We like our job! And we like our customers! And we’re human beings and we get that sometimes stuff happens. faithinthesound*

YYY! That's what it is - 'customer service with a '

• I forgot to mention the packet of paper towels I opened (and subsequently bought) and used to wipe vomit off my child and the trolley, and a little off the floor, when she threw up in the supermarket one day aged 4.

[KnowsStuff]

Snack myself on things on the way to taking them to the checkout but online grocery shopping much more convenient

[AliTheMinx]

Personally I never use/open/eat anything before I've paid for it. It would never cross my mind to do so and I have always told my DS that he must wait until we have paid.

[Touchmybum]

It was always an absolute rule for my three that they didn't eat anything until it was paid for. They were fine with that. I didn't want them to think that it was fine to just help themselves to anything they wanted. It's not a bad life lesson.

[LaurieMarlow]

Well, given that it makes my life a little bit easier and supermarkets clearly don't mind I'm certainly not going to let a few pearl clutching types on mumsnet stop me .

What strikes me here is that supermarkets actually actively approve of this (hence the free fruit and no objections anywhere). And it's easy to see why; happy, occupied kids mean that mum spends more time in store and ultimately spends more money. For me, the weekly shop is a little bit less horrific. Win, win.

[SleepingStandingUp]

Personally I never use/open/eat anything before I've paid for it must limit the options for eating out... No no i insist on paying for each course of dinner and each glass of wine as I go along...

I didn't want them to think that it was fine to just help themselves to anything they wanted. surely they learn they can only have the food mom or dad hands them rather than "its ok to steal dear reprobate toddler just because mommy gave you a bit of baguette"

[gamerchick]

Oh for Christ’s sake knock of the restaurant thing it makes no sense. If you want to liken it to eating out then compare it to Pac-Manning around mcdonalds before paying. Or breaking open that sarnie in greggs while in the queue.

Like I said as long as you don’t care that people think you’re entitled and lazy then crack on. Nobody’s mind is going to be changed here. I bring my kids up to wait until they’ve paid for stuff and some of you send a different message. Bosh!

[LaurieMarlow]

gamerchick you'll be delighted to hear that your perfect parenting trophy is in the post

Many congratulations from this entitled and lazy mum.

[SleepingStandingUp]

Only commenting on what's posted Gamer. Frankly, as a Mom of a child with major eating issues I really really don't give a damn what anyone thinks. If he will actually ask for food (well, gesture and reach for) then I get it in his hand ASAP. The judgment from someone who cannot understand that most of us do what is beat for our child is frankly not worth my time. Whether your is munching on your home cored olives or tidily ate all their lunch before they came out or are screaming manically in the trolley with hunger - I won't judge you because I have no idea of what you are going through

[SleepingStandingUp]

Best not beat. I don't beat him. Honest.

[mamanw3]

I'm pregnant and sometimes I feel faint so I go to the Tesco or other shop grab a drink and drink it straight away, then pay for half empty bottle saying "sorry". Nothing bad will happen, evil look is not the end of the world

[mathanxiety]

None of my DCs grew up to be shoplifters or thieves despite the odd bite of this or that while out shopping, and despite my terrible example.

[gamerchick]

gamerchick you'll be delighted to hear that your perfect parenting trophy is in the post

Ah right in the feels man I’m proper touched

The bad eater doesn’t change my mind either soz, mine has asd so yanno. In fact I’m even less likely to just open food in case it gets launched and some oap slips on it and breaks a hip or summick.

I’m still firmly in the take stuff in with you camp if you have a snacker. Like I said nom your way around with your head up but just accept you’ll be judged for it. You shouldn’t care.

[SleepingStandingUp]

mine has asd so yanno

Is that meant to be "so you know"?

As in my child has ASD so I know all about your childs feeding issues?
Along with the "proper touched" I'm contemplating reconsidering my none judgemental attitude

[gandalf456]

Re taking stuff in, I've always worried that the shop would think I'd nicked it