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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my toddler a bit of bread?

514 replies

ChequeredPasta · 03/10/2017 20:19

I imagine this has already been done to death, and would get the answer if I could be arsed to scroll...
At Waitrose the other day. Put a french bread stick in the trolley, which my toddler (2) saw, and started reaching for it. Told her no, to wait, but she is an untameable beast became upset. So..... I tore off the end and gave it to her BEFORE paying Shock One of the staff saw, and gave me a stinker of a look.

Now, my Mum used to do this with us. But, my Mum's understanding of social convention is.... interesting.
WIBU?!

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 05/10/2017 19:10

No way can you pump petrol before paying here (US).

Allowing people to graze in the supermarket is a marker of an upmarket area.

RhiannonOHara · 05/10/2017 19:10

if you defend your right to the bread then it's open season on everything else presumably?

Well, no. There are clearly foods that are easier and less messy to eat than others, and they're the ones I would eat while going round the shop.

Eating a bit of a bread stick isn't like a gateway behaviour to ripping in to a whole chicken and scattering the bones about.

CocoPuffsinGodMode · 05/10/2017 19:10

Good god the hysteria and righteous indignation Shock. There are a few posters here who really need to get out more or at least crack open a window occasionally!

A supermarket, as a business, does not give a flying fuck if you or your toddler eat a piece of bread or a packet of crisps while moseying along the aisles. They don’t because funnily enough they want you to spend your money in their business. So although some MNers may feel that eating a crust of bread before you’ve paid for it is a crime worthy of 10 years hard labour in a Siberian gulag, Tesco/asda etc are in fact aware that shrieking thief in this scenario might just result in customers taking their business elsewhere. For them it’s even worth the risk that a tiny proportion of people will forget to pay for the item consumed or will be unable to pay having left their purse at home. If this were a major issue we’d soon find their rules would change. It’s a business decision not a moral issue.

GerdaLovesLili · 05/10/2017 19:11

The problem with taking stuff in is that they might think that it hasn't been paid for.. how do they know that your cheese/carrot sticks or packet of crisps/ carton of juice hasn't come off the shelf rather than out of your bag?

I would think that taking stuff in is potentially a lot more problematic than paying for a nibbled french stick.

MummyMuppet2x2 · 05/10/2017 19:13

Personally, I don't think it's ideal, but... if it prevents the mother of all meltdowns then I can understand why a parent would do this.
However, once a child is old enough to wait until after the item has been paid for that should wait.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/10/2017 19:14

Rhiannon, that is not the case at all. There are people who feel they can eat whatever they want around the supermarket, wiping their hands on what, exactly? How can you say it's not ok if you think eating bread is ok? Not very clear is it?

I don't think ANY of it is ok, no confusion there.

caoraich · 05/10/2017 19:16

I think it's fine. I worked in a supermarket for a while. We were told that as long as it wasn't a weighed item and the customer had a basket or trolley it was OK, and applied to adults too!

The ethos was that the more comfortable families felt shopping in our shop, the more likely they were to come back. We had basically no shoplifting problem.
The summer day that I had to help an entire family at the self-scanner scan the ice poles they'd eaten walking round, barcodes now sticky and smeared, was mildly amusing rather than annoying.

ArDali1 · 05/10/2017 19:19

You're going to pay for it anyway, so no not a problem. I do the same occasionally, when DD is going ballistic.....

Ladiva1971 · 05/10/2017 19:19

I work in a supermarket and technically it isn't yours until you pay for it. But I have had small children and I know how it is.

user1489475866 · 05/10/2017 19:20

OP, ignore all the squeaky clean and supposedly perfect posters (most of them need to disappear and get a life).
As long as your little one is content and you can shop in peace then there's no harm done. Some shoppers may frown at you - so what. Rise above it, make your life easier and pay for the bread with the rest of your shopping when you and happy child check out. Life's too short. Happy shopping Smile

CocoPuffsinGodMode · 05/10/2017 19:20

I would think that taking stuff is potentially a lot more problematic than paying for a nibbled french stick

Gerda most supermarkets would or certainly should be aware that it’s a hell of a lot more problematic for them to risk accusing somebody of theft in error. I work in Insurance, we’ve paid out many claims where a poorly trained retail worker has accused a customer of theft!

Mamabear4180 · 05/10/2017 19:23

To the supermarket scoffers, is there anything off limits to you or not really? The end of a breadstick is the same as cooked chicken, is the same as crisps and any other foodstuff. I mean, if you defend your right to the bread then it's open season on everything else presumably?

Really? Don't be so ridiculous. It's not the same thing at all. Why does it have to be all or nothing? That's just the kind of over the top comments one can expect from these threads.

freshlysqueezey · 05/10/2017 19:25

I don’t do it as it’s not mine til it’s paid for ... dp on the other hand does I think just to wind me up

Wannabeamum1 · 05/10/2017 19:30

I used to work at Waitrose when at school. This happened all the time and no one batted an eyelid or cared in the slightest - as long as it was paid for before you left! I did once get handed an apple core and banana skin at the till though.. definitely different as you can't then weigh these and no one wants to touch a toddlers slobbery apple core!

My cousin also used to eat a French stick when shopping with his mum every week. Became such a habit he kept going every week for the French stick until he was about 16!!

Reebs123 · 05/10/2017 19:30

YANBU.

For fs 'bring a snack'? You think people don't do this? I have a handbag full of snacks but toddler wants something from trolley. If it's the choice between a screaming toddler or getting the shopping done I know what I'll choose. We don't all have perfect kids & no it's NOT bad parenting.

GerdaLovesLili · 05/10/2017 19:32

CocoPuffs I'd hope so, but the potential for embarrassment to me wouldn't be worth the risk. Especially as we know that most supermarkets accept that you are going to pay for your toddler's snacking.

tinpanali00 · 05/10/2017 19:34

Never mind the toddlers, I quite often eat something myself on the way round my local Waitrose. I often forget to eat and only realise I'm hungry when I'm in a shop full of food. I know all the cashiers and they never mind scanning empty packaging; in fact they always offer to put it in the bin. They have wipes and blue roll if they get anything on their hands.

And of course I used to let my toddlers eat stuff too. No one ever minded. Better than a shop full of twos being terrible. My daughter was very small and ate like a bird, so I was delighted when she was inspired to stuff herself with all that lovely food deliberately made to look tempting. I never go to the supermarket with no cash so I could always pay for what the toddlers ate even if both my debit cards and my credit card were refused.

On the odd occasion that a kid grabbed a loose apple or roll in passing and took a bite I let them keep it, always offered to pay and the cashier always refused.

I used to have a fruit and veg stall in a street market and I was always giving bits of fruit to toddlers. It's a nice thing to do; it made me smile.

I love the idea that eating in supermarkets encourages mice. Eating in cafes does too, especially if you're a toddler. That's why they clean them.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/10/2017 19:35

Mamabear, it's you who is being ridiculous. Either you are in favour of eating whilst going around a supermarket or you aren't. There is no 'list' of acceptable items and clearly some people think eating whatever they fancy as they go around is acceptable. Just because you might be a corner-of-bread eater doesn't mean that others follow whatever languid rules you might have in place (in your head).

We're guided by our own experiences and mine are such that I wish it were banned. That said, somebody nibbling on the end of a bread wouldn't even register with me but like everything else, the ante has to be upped. Perhaps it's that aspect that bothers me?

Roversandrhodes · 05/10/2017 19:40

Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Are you a parent ?

tinpanali00 · 05/10/2017 19:51

"yabu - not because of the bread (it still scans, all good), but because you open doors for all kubds of demands from a child. they don't get why they can have the bread, but not a weighted item when they are that young. its way easier in the ling term to stick to "no eating in the supermarket "

Well, no. Tiny child sees food, wants food. Fair enough, me too. But I don't have to let her have anything she wants. She might take a fancy to a bottle of gin, or a box of eggs, or a large birthday cake; there are lots of very good reasons for saying no. Toddlers aren't known for their patience and self-control and I think it's mean to make them look at all that tempting food and not let them eat any. So did my toddlers, but they were happy for me to tell them what they were allowed to eat. There was still plenty of choice. Happy toddler, happy everyone.

KidLorneRoll · 05/10/2017 19:57

" Either you are in favour of eating whilst going around a supermarket or you aren't."

Don't be so ridiculous.

ShovingLeopard · 05/10/2017 19:57

NannyOgg if it only takes you a minute to scan your shopping you'll have to tell me which branch of Waitrose you shop in! Mine have cut staffing to the bone, and only open another checkout if the queues are at least 4 deep. No way I'm faffing about to queue twice!

Miniminimus · 05/10/2017 19:58

You may pay for the bread every time,but probably plenty of people don't and just dump it somewhere half chewed. I had three DC and generally took snacks with me but do remember eldest very fond of bananas as a baby.... so would take one to customer services, have it scanned and pay for it, then carry on shopping. Sorry, I think YABU, though end of baguette def. one of the least offensive offences!

Miniminimus · 05/10/2017 20:00

Worst is letting children sit or stand in the trolley with shoes on.....if I saw one of those munching a baguette, would dial 999! Grin

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/10/2017 20:04

What’s the haha’s for, Rover? Why do you assume someone with a different opinion to yours has no actual experience of putting it into practice?
Thousands of kids go round supermarkets every day without chowing down on the stock.