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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my toddler a bit of bread?

514 replies

ChequeredPasta · 03/10/2017 20:19

I imagine this has already been done to death, and would get the answer if I could be arsed to scroll...
At Waitrose the other day. Put a french bread stick in the trolley, which my toddler (2) saw, and started reaching for it. Told her no, to wait, but she is an untameable beast became upset. So..... I tore off the end and gave it to her BEFORE paying Shock One of the staff saw, and gave me a stinker of a look.

Now, my Mum used to do this with us. But, my Mum's understanding of social convention is.... interesting.
WIBU?!

OP posts:
rightnowimpissed · 04/10/2017 17:03

Its absolutly fine we do this all the time, walking round the shop and get thirsty (they are big places) get a bottle of water scan it in on the little handset thing, drink as I go pay at the end. as long as you pay your fine.

Tesco have the free fruit for the kids, we use that to keep them occupied.

Yura · 04/10/2017 17:21

yabu - not because of the bread (it still scans, all good), but because you open doors for all kubds of demands from a child. they don't get why they can have the bread, but not a weighted item when they are that young. its way easier in the ling term to stick to "no eating in the supermarket "

MistressPage · 04/10/2017 18:11

some people are just entitled pigs that can't get from point a to point b without stuffing their faces.

I suppose we all have different moral codes. You see in mine, it's fine for me to feed my baby some olives which I fully intend to pay for, whilst shopping. However I mentally recoil from someone who uses such abusive language about strangers doing something relatively innocuous, which isn't directly harming anyone. Calling people 'entitled pigs' is a petty nasty thing to do, in my moral code. Oh well, I shall go happily about my business, content with the knowledge that it is in fact not really relevant what you think of me it my supermarket shenanigans.

Fernanie · 04/10/2017 19:20

I've done this for myself a couple of times when the DCs aren't even with me! Not with food but with tissues when I've suddenly had a fit of hayfever and not been prepared; opened the box, used a tissue, then taken the open box to the till to pay. No-one's ever batted an eyelid because it's a total non-event and much nicer for everyone than standing in the queue for 15 minutes with snot streaming down my face.

allegretto · 04/10/2017 19:23

I think it's fine but at our supermarket they always give kids breadsticks to eat on the way round anyway.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/10/2017 20:05

I've seen chicken bones on the floor and on shelves and empty packets strewn about where people are obviously not intending to pay at all. Just piggish really.
But that's totally different isn't it. OP hasn't said is it ok if I give my child some food, with no intention of paying for it and then drop the food litter on the shop floor

SleepingStandingUp · 04/10/2017 20:12

I did once drink half a bottle of coke in a shop before paying though. I felt I was going to pass out
Shame on you, id have called 999 if I'd seen you. Much better you pass out in the store than the cashier haste handle a bite with an open lid. I mean, anyone would think you fully intended to pay for it!!!!!

I cant stand people grazing on the hoof and as for letting toddlers in trolleys dictate? Nope. Munching, chewing, dribbling, wiping their food smeary hands over everything. Double nope. Absolutely no respect for other people
I know, bloody disrespectful toddlers- its so typical of them. They get dragged shopping against their will and then get moody because they're hungry and they can't even be bothered to master their emotions by age of 2. Should just lock them in the cupboard at home!

britbat23 · 04/10/2017 20:15

Fine to do in Asda.

Not at Waitrose.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 04/10/2017 20:19

Op hasn’t said is it ok if I give my child some food with no intention of paying for it
But she was aghast at the shop worker giving her a dirty look. How did she expect the assistant to identify her as one of the ones who definitely was going to pay? Plenty don’t, obviously.

Thissideof40 · 04/10/2017 20:27

Personally I wouldn’t. I’ve never really understood why people do this as it’s not yours until you pay for it. I want my kids to learn you can’t just help yourself to things or get things you want if you scream loud enough.

greatminds · 04/10/2017 20:30

So this actually happened to me today.

I am type 1 diabetic - normally well controlled.

Went to the gym, on route to Tesco after and a nasty hypo started.

It was a really bad one.

In desperation I drank two bottles of Tropicana and ate a whole pack of galaxy cookies (you know the fresh baked pack of 5)

I had to explain to the girl on the check out what happened. I said ‘honestly I don’t normally eat that much in one go’ she replied ‘I can easily eat all that! Do you want me to pop the wrappers in the bin?’

As I was scoffing I thought, I wonder if there is any Mumsnetters in here looking at me disapproving? Shock

greatminds · 04/10/2017 20:31

Ate it all in Tesco before paying if that wasn’t clear.

Bubbinsmakesthree · 04/10/2017 20:39

Toddler DS always used to get a banana to eat on the way round, it was our supermarket ritual. Complete non-issue as far as I am concerned.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/10/2017 20:43

How did she expect the assistant to identify her as one of the ones who definitely was going to pay? Plenty don’t, obviously
From the fact that the toddler is unlikely to manage the whole baguette in one go????

Kittymum03 · 04/10/2017 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/10/2017 20:51

But stealing the food is clearly different to paying for it after you eat it. And given that lots of eateries serve you before they take payment, its hardly unprecedented for people to understand that you pay for what you eat. Ok not everyone does but then some people will always steal

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 04/10/2017 21:11

...unable to demolish the baguette in one go!. Still missing the point Confused. Op could have quietly lobbed it at the back of a shelf when the toddler had finished with it instead of taking it to the checkout; again, some people clearly do.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 04/10/2017 21:12

Oh, x post

SleepingStandingUp · 04/10/2017 21:18

And OP could have quietly stole a turkey and hid it in her handbag. But she didn't.

Id be far less suspicious of someone with half a baguette in their trolley than one claiming the bag of snacks they are eating were definitely brought from home. And less annoyed than buy a screaming toddler. Sorry but not everyone's kids eat on a set schedule. Mine can refuse food then be really hungry 10 minutes later especially if he's seen something he likes. Because he is 2 and 2 year Olds are irrational. I don't punish that irrationality by making him go hungry for 45 minutes whilst I shop.

WheresYouWheelieBin · 05/10/2017 03:14

I did this frequently when my LO was a toddler. I’ve never, ever had staff so much as batt an eyelid. Happy toddler, happy Mum, spend more time shopping and therefore more money at the shop. Everyone wins. Our local supermarket now puts out free fruit for kids to eat when they are shopping.

Timeywimey8 · 05/10/2017 08:21

I know, bloody disrespectful toddlers- its so typical of them. They get dragged shopping against their will and then get moody because they're hungry and they can't even be bothered to master their emotions by age of 2. Should just lock them in the cupboard at home

No because online shopping hasn't been invented yet so there's no choice but to drag them round a boring supermarket.

What you could of course do, is take an item off the shelf, pay for it at the self serve assuming no massive queue, give it to child and then do main shopping.

Rather than them eating something you haven't paid for.

MNers from outside the UK - what's your take on this? Is it acceptable in other countries?

KidLorneRoll · 05/10/2017 08:37

"What you could of course do, is take an item off the shelf, pay for it at the self serve assuming no massive queue, give it to child and then do main shopping.

Rather than them eating something you haven't paid for."

Which, in reality, makes no practical difference whatsoever apart from pissing about in queues twice. The kid gets the item, the item is paid for. Nobody cares that it's paid for at the end.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero · 05/10/2017 08:50

I work in a supermarket, most of us who work in my branch (not waitrose) have kids of our own and understand. We wouldn't bat an eye and it happens a lot. As long as you are paying we don't see the problem. It's even covered in my stores training!

acsec · 05/10/2017 09:27

It's fine, 1 yr old DD has a mini pain aux raisin as we walk round Lidl on Sunday and we pay for it and everyone is happy because she is. No member of staff has ever told me off.

jesuislebitch · 05/10/2017 10:12

What you could of course do, is take an item off the shelf, pay for it at the self serve assuming no massive queue, give it to child and then do main shopping.

But the only people we’d be doing that for is for people like you. No one else cares, including supermarket staff. So no thanks.