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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my toddler a bit of bread?

514 replies

ChequeredPasta · 03/10/2017 20:19

I imagine this has already been done to death, and would get the answer if I could be arsed to scroll...
At Waitrose the other day. Put a french bread stick in the trolley, which my toddler (2) saw, and started reaching for it. Told her no, to wait, but she is an untameable beast became upset. So..... I tore off the end and gave it to her BEFORE paying Shock One of the staff saw, and gave me a stinker of a look.

Now, my Mum used to do this with us. But, my Mum's understanding of social convention is.... interesting.
WIBU?!

OP posts:
Binghasalottoanswerfor · 04/10/2017 14:02

I don't like doing it, but I'll do it if my daughter is going to kick off. The only alternative I have to abandon shopping and leave as my dd is pretty unique with her behaviour.

Don't bother flaming my parenting, you don't know my Dd!

jesuislebitch · 04/10/2017 14:22

I've seen chicken bones on the floor and on shelves and empty packets strewn about where people are obviously not intending to pay at all. Just piggish really

Ugh where do you shop?!

HornyTortoise · 04/10/2017 14:32

I have never done this, but I would if I felt the need. Not with goods that are weighed (the amount of people I see munching grapes and stuff while shopping kind of annoys me) but a french stick is the same price regardless.

Our tesco has started leaving out fruit for kids who want a snack round the shops. Free. I think thats a decent idea

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/10/2017 14:38

I shop anywhere because I'm not a snob. I've seen this in Asda. It could have been anywhere though because some people are just entitled pigs that can't get from point a to point b without stuffing their faces. Unfortunately, they're allowed to shop anywhere too.

PoisonousSmurf · 04/10/2017 14:39

It's because it's not the done thing in Waitrose. You should go to Asda Grin

HornyTortoise · 04/10/2017 14:41

I did once drink half a bottle of coke in a shop before paying though. I felt I was going to pass out and in the past the way I have sorted this was with sugar...so coke seemed the best option (and worked)

Till person didn't mind at all and infact seemed rather worried about me.

Cleanermaidcook · 04/10/2017 15:00

faithinthesound i love you for using les mis as an example :D
(and also you make absolute sense)
I can't see the problem if you're going to pay the same anyway, and no it's not stealing.

Beetlejuice43 · 04/10/2017 15:08

People are so harsh and condemning. Non issue as far as I'm concerned.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/10/2017 15:19

I don't know why some posters have to keep using hyperbole to make their points, it sounds so daft. No, if you're about to flake out then that's not the same is it?

We're all using our own points of reference. I don't eat in supermarkets, neither do my kids, and I'm as far away from a perfect mum as you can get. It's just something I never did as a kid because it wasn't the done thing and for me, it still isn't. Food distractions are not a good thing in my book but everyone else will do what they want.

hazeyjane · 04/10/2017 15:39

I've seen chicken bones on the floor

Crikey, was Henry VIII shopping in front of you, tossing half a chicken over his shoulder?

Scattymere · 04/10/2017 15:47

No issue at all. Do it all the time when toddler & baby on verge of a breakdown. Far better to have contented child happily mining (neatly!) away on a small little morsel than screaming the shop down.

When he had eaten pack of fruit paws by time we got to checkout and I put the bag through I apologized to the cashier and she wouldn't have it, saying its far better they were distracted/not hungry/not screaming than her having to scan an empty packet! No one has ever looked twice/or down at me for doing this in all my experience. Anyone who has an issue with it needs to focus on more serious matters than parents simply trying to keep their kids from having a loud, horrendous meltdown.

Scattymere · 04/10/2017 15:50

#munching

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 04/10/2017 15:54

I cant stand people grazing on the hoof and as for letting toddlers in trolleys dictate? Nope. Munching, chewing, dribbling, wiping their food smeary hands over everything. Double nope. Absolutely no respect for other people.

mumofmunchkin · 04/10/2017 15:57

I do this all the time. I'm sure most people appreciate not having their shopping punctuated by my tantrumming toddler who is just plain bored sat in the trolley. Open a packet of pom bears or similar and everyone has a nicer shopping trip.

I just warn the cashier if they are scanning an open packet of something as it goes through the till. Everyone I've met has been very understanding, and just given it straight back to the kid once they've scanned it.

DiegoMadonna · 04/10/2017 16:06

Why do we keep talking about this as if it's only ok if it's to keep a toddler quiet. It should be ok for any person, of any age, regardless. I've yet to see anybody give one good reason why it should bother them in the slightest?

Just the usual "it's not the done thing! It's so common! It's horrifying and disgusting!" stuff that mumsnetters post about any given topic you could possibly imagine.

Booagain · 04/10/2017 16:17

Best thread I've read on here! I've not done it but if intentions are moral, it's fine, jeeez!

PenguinPal14 · 04/10/2017 16:19

in order to be caught shoplifting you have to have left the shop with goods you having paid for. if you put an item in your bag the security will not stop you until you have tried to leave the building therefore aslong as you dont leave without paying for it your not stealing!!
YANBU

KidLorneRoll · 04/10/2017 16:22

It's totally, utterly fine. It's not theft, it's not skanky, it's fine.

When I used to work on a checkout I was so zoned out due to it being so fucking boring that I probably wouldn't even notice that the bag of crisps I had waved over the barcode reader had been opened, and if I did I certainly wouldn't give 2 tiny shits about it.

AliceLostInWonderland321 · 04/10/2017 16:35

It's fine to do this.

You're going to pay for it.

Obviously if you tore some off, gave it to your daughter and then put it back...that wouldn't be okay Wink

KrytensNanobots · 04/10/2017 16:37

I'm sure most people appreciate not having their shopping punctuated by my tantrumming toddler who is just plain bored sat in the trolley. Open a packet of pom bears or similar and everyone has a nicer shopping trip.

Well, there's a way to encourage bad eating habits in later life. Boredom eating.

Whinberry · 04/10/2017 16:43

Is it still acceptable in a small independent delicatessen?

SumThucker · 04/10/2017 16:50

Do those complaining about sticky trollies take wipes with them everywhere then?

I'd hazard a guess not everyone who's used one before you has washed their hands after using the toilet, or gave their nose a good rub, sneezed, coughed...

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/10/2017 16:59

sits on fence

yes sometimes easier to give in/easy life and give bread/crisps etc to stop a paddy

tho

why not take snacks/rice cakes/etc with you

Aliveinwanderland · 04/10/2017 17:01

I usually take some snacks for my 11 month old but at times have opened a packet of baby biscuits to give him one as we walk round if needed. I would expect an older child to wait but DS is to young to understand.

DonkeyOil · 04/10/2017 17:03

It's because it's not the done thing in Waitrose.

Confused

It's just the sort of mummies who shop at Waitrose who really couldn't give a stuff about what other people think. Often combined with performance parenting, by asking every so often if Jocasta is enjoying her sourdough ciabatta.