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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my toddler a bit of bread?

514 replies

ChequeredPasta · 03/10/2017 20:19

I imagine this has already been done to death, and would get the answer if I could be arsed to scroll...
At Waitrose the other day. Put a french bread stick in the trolley, which my toddler (2) saw, and started reaching for it. Told her no, to wait, but she is an untameable beast became upset. So..... I tore off the end and gave it to her BEFORE paying Shock One of the staff saw, and gave me a stinker of a look.

Now, my Mum used to do this with us. But, my Mum's understanding of social convention is.... interesting.
WIBU?!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 04/10/2017 08:13

You see we have since learnt that actually Not ds doesn’t have much self control it comes with his autism but at the age where not giving him mango when going around the supermarket led to a meltdown we didn’t know that at all. We just knew that the mango meant we could get the shopping done easily and safely!

As a nearly 8 year old supermarkets are still a place which causes him sensory overload. Sadly he not refuses to eat most foods so no amount of food from the shelves would help! Now I just shop while he is at school

londonrach · 04/10/2017 08:17

Ive never done it and dd doesnt ask as its not paid for.

schoolgaterebel · 04/10/2017 08:23

It’s not great really, feeding your kids food that you haven’t bought yet. I’ve never done this, I always made sure my DC ate before we went shopping.

But it seems many people on here think it’s fine, so I’d say don’t bother what people think and just carry on if you feel comfortable with that.

FreckledFrog · 04/10/2017 08:26

@LucieLucie

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I do this all the time in Asda

Pigface1 · 04/10/2017 09:02

I think it's technically fine (i.e. Waitrose couldn't and wouldn't prosecute you for theft). Obviously - as many others have said - if it were something that's sold by weight it wouldn't be fine. I can also see that it's nicer for you and for other shoppers and staff not to have your toddler wailing the place down.

But I just find it a bit gross tbh. That's just my personal opinion. It's not been paid for. Your toddler wasn't even actually hungry.

Sayyouwill · 04/10/2017 09:06

I think people also draw a comparison with adults. As in they see a child eating something that hasn't yet been paid for as unacceptable as it would be unacceptable for an adult to do this.
An adult should be able to control their desire to eat a bag of crisps or whatever. There is usually a little cafe in supermarkets (at least there are in the ones round here) so if you're hungry you can go there to eat.
Also there are so many adults who are very inconsiderate. For example I've seen people wipe their hands on the tea towels in Asda. As in the ones for sale! I've seen open tissue boxes still on the shelf so has obvs been opened and used, you see litter on the floors etc. So by allowing your kids to do this, are you not teaching them that this behaviour is okay? How old is too old? But then again, the first part of my post is purely down to bad manners, which we as parents are responsible for correcting. If your kids eat in the supermarkets, as long as they also know they have to pay for it, and not make a mess or be inconsiderate, then who is it hurting?

Theycalledmethewildrose · 04/10/2017 10:04

I don't think giving small kids a bread roll in a supermarket is the path to obesity because they are eating when they aren't hungry. Kids snack. Not constantly but if the bribery of a bread roll lures them into going on a forty minute supermarket shop that they dislike, and prevents them from whinging or arguing, I know what option I'd choose every time.

DH bribes them with a promise of getting a little plastic ball that have crap toys from a vending machine. I despise those little plastic toys that break within five minutes but if they work for him, who am I to argue.

ferriswheel · 04/10/2017 10:14

What orange said about supermum and perfect kids.

I always said no, until I was heavily pregnant with ds3 with 9 month old ds2 in trolley with 2year old ds1 alongside him. Then, not only did they eat the bread but I decided that it was in fact their dinner.

jesuislebitch · 04/10/2017 10:47

Then, not only did they eat the bread but I decided that it was in fact their dinner

Amen sister.Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 04/10/2017 10:48

If you hadn't eaten it in you could at any point up to leaving the store leave the product behind and therefore not steal it
Irrelevant unless you actually going to do.p said half eaten bread on the shelf and walk out. You are going to pay for it so you're not depriving anyone of it any more than you are depriving them of anything else in your trolley. DS is 2. He's a crap eater (tube fed) so if he "asks" for something (non verbal) I try to get it open and in his hand ASAP whilst he's still inclined to eat. It all scans through the same price. Whether that's in supermarkets or more likely Starbucks (because he know where the crisp basket is and what color packet he likes!!). No one has ever said anything or looked at me funny.

Re sticky trolleys surely if you're child is covered in gook you just wipe the handle? In the and way I pick up food DS drops (throws) on the floor

SleepingStandingUp · 04/10/2017 10:51

Also the ones judging a food distraction are also probably the ones judging people who give their kids the phone to play with or people who entertain their kids with songs etc as performance parenting.

May a recommend giving them War and Peace to read on the way round in future?

ShovingLeopard · 04/10/2017 11:36

Am having a quiet chuckle about someone being horrified at a child eating olives while going round the supermarket! Grin

I'm starting to wonder if my life is hugely more difficult and stressful than most other peoples'. Because I can't remember a time when I had so little to worry about that this would be anywhere on the list.

I wouldn't take snacks from home to feed my 2 year old in Waitrose, as I would be too worried they'd think I was shoplifting. How would they know the particular packet of Apple Wriggles was bought last week, rather than me trying to pull a fast one? I'd probably end up paying for it twice, just to avoid that! Far better to take something off the shelf I am fully intending to pay for, and give that. Not that I always give her food there, just if it coincides with her usual snack time.

PrimalLass · 04/10/2017 12:39

I used to do that with DS and a baguette as long as I had the cash to pay for it (in case the card failed).

MummysBusy · 04/10/2017 12:45

If it's not okay then I blame Tesco. My Dd now expects a peice of fruit to eat while we shop. If they don't like children tucking in then they shouldn't encourage it.

The real sh

Talkietalk · 04/10/2017 12:48

It is not yours yet as you have not paid for it - I always take snacks or feed before supermarket

Lotsawobblybits · 04/10/2017 12:52

TBH it doesn't bother me, as long as all items are paid for at the end of the shop.

There are other habits which annoy me more, such as handling and throwing back fresh fruit and veg so it all gets bruised or picking up a frozen item and then deciding you don't want it and leaving it in another isle to melt.

A little while ago DP & I had to laugh we were at the checkout & a rather harassed looking mum was unloading her shopping with a little one in the trolley seat and the next person joins the queue, engrossed in phone, but a baguette sticking out of the front of the trolley- you guessed it - toddler leans forward and starts sucking away on the next customers bread! The Mum was clearly embarrassed and so apologetic.

FridayFreddo · 04/10/2017 13:05

I used to do this all the time with my ds before home delivery was invented and I think it's fine.

As long as there's a barcode you can scan, you're paying the same. It's not like you're leting your dc eat an apple round the shop then not paying for it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/10/2017 13:19

Oh it's ages since we've had one of these. I'm on the 'DON'T' side. It's one thing to give a toddler a bit of bread but I don't see why older children and adults just can't wait to eat.

I've seen chicken bones on the floor and on shelves and empty packets strewn about where people are obviously not intending to pay at all. Just piggish really.

bluebellsparklypants · 04/10/2017 13:22

QuackDuckQuack
Grin

I would and do as long as paid for at the end can't see the harm at all

AlpacaLypse · 04/10/2017 13:27

All those people saying no no pay for it first, have you actually tried to get through the tills quickly at Waitrose recently? Even the queues for self scan and basket only are an utter nightmare!

DiegoMadonna · 04/10/2017 13:40

It's not even a toddler tantrum issue for me. I wouldn't care if I saw a grown man or woman eating a bit of their baguette in the supermarket. Can anybody give me one good reason why that should bother me in the slightest?

BuntyMumofPie · 04/10/2017 13:43

I work at Tesco. We have free fruit for the kids because the supermarkets KNOW that keeping them happy and occupied makes for a much more satisfying trip all round.

Technically if you couldn’t pay because you forgot your purse or were declined, yes it would be theft, but I don’t see anyone with any common sense enforcing this for letting your kid munch on a bit of French stick.

cottonwool125 · 04/10/2017 13:53

Tesco starting the free fruit for kids scheme in store has been a god send! I very rarely do a big food shop with DS, who is 14months, but when I do, it keeps him happy for a good 20 minutes/half an hour.

Coldilox · 04/10/2017 13:53

Only read up to page 4 so this may have been said, but this does not meet the legal definition of theft. There is no dishonesty and there is no one ntention tonpermanently deprive the supermarket of its property (the intention is to complete the sale transaction). If they intended to discard the packaging and not pay, then that is theft.

Sirzy · 04/10/2017 13:57

As for the “what if you get to the till and have forgotten your purse/card is declined” argument - surely I can’t be the only one who would happily pass someone in front the £1 or whatever it was to cover the baguette in that situation if needed?