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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kids shouldn't talk to teachers like this.

445 replies

onlyindreams · 03/10/2017 17:18

I realise that the majority of kids will show respect to teachers but some of the stuff my dgc tell me is awful. One girl called her teacher a disgusting human being" , another said "you dirty little peado", another one said, when asked not to shout "who do you think you're talking to".

How has it all come to this, i despair, where's the respect gone, please tell me it's not all that bad and not typical of the average 12/13 year old and probably above.

OP posts:
Original poster
onlyindreams · 03/10/2017 21:43

They have no need to behave. There are no repercussions

What an awful state of affairs and how bloody depressing.

OP posts:
glitterlips1 · 03/10/2017 21:50

BoneyBackJefferson - read the thread it has been mentioned.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 03/10/2017 21:51

This is shocking, and nothing like the experience DDs have had at their private girls' junior school, and their girls' grammar. A world apart. How on earth are teachers supposed to teach in that environment? Impossible. Where has the respect gone? Flowers for teachers who teach there.

BoneyBackJefferson · 03/10/2017 21:53

glitterlips1

Have read thread and haven't seen it.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 03/10/2017 21:56

This thread is so depressing and infuriating. I am so angry for all the teachers having to cope with fuck all support and the kids who actually behave having their education affected by the ones who don't. Nothing could ever convince me to be a teacher. Not love nor money.

glitterlips1 · 03/10/2017 21:56

BoneyBackJefferson not my problem.

tinytemper66 · 03/10/2017 21:56

Happens often. LAs come down hard on exclusions so even serious swearing gets swept away because of this. Being called an effing C has meant a pupil has got away with it due to LA policy. They don`t see what happens and yet controls what punishment can be handed out.

I am fed up to the back teeth of disrespectful pupils. I have had complaints tonight because pupils who were throwing objects and windows and each other have a detention and were made to pick up the debris. I will be girdling my loins to speak to the parents tomorrow morning.

When is half term?

Angelicinnocent · 03/10/2017 21:57

Read "it's your time your wasting" by Frank Chalk. He's a teacher in an inner city school and the tales he tells will make you cry with despair.

KittyVonCatsington · 03/10/2017 21:57

I'm a governor at a grammar and can honestly say that discipline is not a problem

I'm a teacher at a Grammar and in the past 8 years, I have seen low level disruption get considerably worse, as the 'entitled' attitude of a lot of children gets more prevalent. I had a Year 7 stick two fingers up at me today and I hadn't actually done anything to him-totally out of the blue. I doubt our Governors ever truly know what goes on at that level.

you are a waste of time and don't deserve to be here as you don't want to learn

Is that your example of the worst that has been said? I doubt that particular student had done nothing at all, prior to that comment being made and therefore, the lack of respect came from the child first. Children need to know how lucky they are to be able to go to school and learn. Teachers are human too and more and more are reaching breaking point.

glitterlips1 · 03/10/2017 21:58

glitterlips1
Not another excuse. Fact.

BoneyBackJefferson The word that you are looking for is "anecdote"

Hmm no, the word I used was correct.

BoneyBackJefferson · 03/10/2017 22:01

glitterlips1

A fact requires evidence, you have provided none. it is anecdotal.

Cary2012 · 03/10/2017 22:15

I teach over 250 different students a week.
Mainly KS4. Mainly English Lit, some Lang.
Some KS5 Lit (bliss).
It takes me at least 3 hours to mark thirty books and provide feedback, next steps, targets etc. 30 mins to plan a lesson.
Fine, all fine, it's part of the job.
But to be told by a 14 year old to 'get out of my grill you fat bitch' (I'm a size 10 which is neither here nor there) because I had the sheer audacity to ask her to put her phone away any open her anthology is beyond the pale. To set her a detention which SLT then remove because she has 'issues' is a bloody joke.

KittyVonCatsington · 03/10/2017 22:17

It was said to an undiagnosed dyslexic child who was struggling to read and the teacher thought they just weren't trying, this was some years ago.

Your best example was from some years ago. Ok then.

And I think glitter sounds like a lot of the students do!!

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 03/10/2017 22:20

There was a time when a child's performance and sucess or lack of it, was the responsibility of the child. Work and achieve success; mess about and probably don't succeed. These days, the responsibility for the child's performance lies solely with the teacher.

You haven't done your homework- teacher's fault forissuing it.
Johnny failed his exam. Not his fault for not working; the teacher's fault for not spoon feeding, doing it for him, making it easier. Despite the fact that that teacher has turned themselves inside out providing every kind of support, regularly contacting parents, organising holiday revision etc, etc, etc.

There will shortly be a time when any teacher is in the job for just a short time, anyone experienced will be managed out, apprentice or unqualified people will be in front of a class, class sizes will rise and so will stress levels.

Winners- academy executives
Losers- everyone else

Angelicinnocent · 03/10/2017 22:26

Regarding being made to stand up for chair swinging.

My DD 15 is a chair swinger and has been pulled up on it by one particular teacher for the last 3 years. During the first half term she was repeatedly told not to do it and carried on. Since then, she has her chair removed as soon as she does it and either stands or sits on the floor unless they are doing group work.

My response when she complained was "don't swing on the chair then" and her wails of "but I can't help it, I don't know I'm doing it" and replied to with "pay attention to what you are doing then".

She wouldn't dare tell the teacher to fuck off and because she doesn't misbehave in any other way (for that teacher) and doesn't backchat them about it, it's become a bit of a joke but they do actually respect each other and it's probably her favourite teacher.

Pigface1 · 03/10/2017 22:29

Jesus - this is depressing reading. I really feel for the teachers on here. Also these kids are our future workforce, which doesn't really bode well.

I wonder if it's anything to do with the rise in 'child-centric' parenting. I'm a believer in raising independently-minded children with self-esteem - but perhaps this is the flipside of parents pursuing that?

It reminds me of a thread on here a few weeks back about following rules and whether you should expect your child to follow rules, even if they seem arbitrary. Some people argued that raising your kids to follow rules was a safeguarding concern because it could leave them vulnerable to sexual abuse. And I thought at the time, Jesus wept.

Lm9004 · 03/10/2017 22:31

Angelic innocent

In other words you would have no problem if I was your dds teacher and made her stand up for the afternoon?

youarenotkiddingme · 03/10/2017 22:35

Don't judge.

My ds is the kindest sweetest boy who wants to please. He's totally anxious all the time about getting into trouble.

But he has autism.

Sometimes he will totally become overwhelmed and shout and swear. He use to self harm instead.

It doesn't come from me and I don't like it.

If a pupil described what he said as a snapshot you'd be Shock. The description and the child generally don't go together.

You don't know what is going on that causes this reaction. I absolutely agree teachers are under immense pressure and the kids are too.
Blame government cuts and lack of support to meet need rather than the victims of this:

MammaTJ · 03/10/2017 22:43

I would go mad if I found out my kids were talking to anyone like that! Surely that kind of behaviour would see a pupil sent straight to the headmasters office?

Well yes, but supporting that is a rare thing nowadays. There was a thread on our local FB page about a teacher hitting someones poor innocent son. He had actually been giving her lip and she had accidentally caught his pinky when moving something. My DD was there. The mother has pulled her son out of school and is looking to tranfer him 9 miles away.

Would have been better for her to get other peoples versions of event, rather than listen to her sons claim that she has threatened the children there if they had told the truth!

Angelicinnocent · 03/10/2017 22:43

Lmc9004

No problem at all really although it's a long time for anyone to stand still so possibly allowed to sit on the floor after a while.

worlybear · 03/10/2017 22:57

In my opinion,Education is not considered a necessity by a significant number of parents and their children.
It is viewed as an imposition which takes them away from watching tv and smartphones and everything they are entitled to do.
It is not valued until kids leave school and are unable to get a job (because they didn't bother to take advantage of the system )and then of course it is the teachers ' fault.
So babies follow (for something to do) and the whole sorry saga replays again...
Education is a gift- not a right.

MakeMeAFloozy · 03/10/2017 23:07

I've seen alot of stuff on social media about how the education system is a form of control/ useless for life/like prison etc
I cringe to think that my students have access to this rubbish. And it's posted by adults.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 03/10/2017 23:07

I would agree with that worly. I was involved in a programme a few years ago that supported parents of teens with behavioural issues. I remember one of the parents complaining that she couldn't get her 13 and 14 year old sons to go to school. She was complaining because they're under her feet all day Hmm but said "you can't blame them really, what's the point in going to school when there's no jobs for them when they leave?" Our area doesn't actually have high unemployment but even if it did, I couldn't get over how short sighted she was being in not encourageing them to look further afield for work (when they are at the right stage) than our small town. The world is not as big and inaccessible as it once was, people travel all over for university and work. She had just decided that there are no jobs so why bother going to school. So depressing.

echt · 03/10/2017 23:24

BoneyBack, While I hesitate to support Glitterlips on this thread, refractory as she is, a poster mentioned her teacher friends working until ten at night upthread.

Lm9004 · 04/10/2017 00:21

Angelic innocent

I had warned her though twice in the morning, had she not repeatedly done it I would have let her have her chair back but wanted to really hit home how she needed to keep four legs on the floor.

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