To think kids shouldn't talk to teachers like this.

[onlyindreams]

I realise that the majority of kids will show respect to teachers but some of the stuff my dgc tell me is awful. One girl called her teacher a disgusting human being" , another said "you dirty little peado", another one said, when asked not to shout "who do you think you're talking to".

How has it all come to this, i despair, where's the respect gone, please tell me it's not all that bad and not typical of the average 12/13 year old and probably above.

But FrLukeDuke there's a massive difference between odd swears when the children are just out of ear shot and the sort of routine swearing that teaches children that it's fine.

I can still remember a parents evening where I'd told a parent that her child's language wasn't appropriate and the child really needed to speak sensibly to their peers. Mum's response was (across the room) 'CHILD'S NAME! Get your arse over here. What the fuck are you doing swearing all the time at school?'
And the child replied 'i wasn't swearing all the time! Fuckssake it was once!'

They were a very supportive parent who was desperate for her child to not take the same path as her. Lovely mum but that appointment always makes me smile when I think about it.

Let's not go down the letting kids to the toilet in lessons route...there's a weird troll about who would just love that.

Sarahvanstone

I had said no to the toilet and to wait until lunch, as I usually do to which he replied I'll piss on the floor I need the toilet.

Please don't take me wrong anyone, I am not condoling any person treating any other person with disrespect.

But if you need to pee you need to pee.

Sorry I am just trying to understand the rationale! I always felt as a student teachers did this just to exercise their right to say no..

My high school experience wasn't great (I wold probably class me as one of these kids you guys are talking about) although both before and after has been exceptional and no issues. O and no family relevance either fairly good family background no swearing in my house ect

Oh come on it’s not rocket science as to why kids might lie about needing the toilet.

It’s so they can skive. When I was at school our lessons were 40 minutes, if you ‘needed the toilet’ (ie faking it) then by the time you get to the loo, piss about for a bit, maybe chat with mates who were there too, go the long way back, you could easily cut your lesson down by 15 minutes, knowing fine well that a teacher isn’t gonna come to look for you. That’s nearly half the lesson. Perfectly reasonable to have a “no toilet” policy, although I do think lm has pointed out she makes an exception if she thinks a girl is on her period.

So teachers don’t say no to toilet to ‘exercise their right to say no’ they probably can’t be arsed/don’t have time catching 3 different skivers up about the big chunk of lesson they’ve missed, or listening to them whine because they don’t understand the homework because they missed the explanation.

Little Johnny’s Mum would soon be on the phone claiming that her precious darling says Miss didn’t explain the homework to him.

I'm a Guider and I find the worst ages betwen 12 and a half and 13 and a half! We get eye rolling and attitude and that's With girl guides so I dread to think what secondary is like. Most parents are supportive but you often get ones who just send them for a bit of peace so couldn't give a monkeys!

Agreed respect should be the default position. It can be lost, but doesn't have to be earned in the first place. If someone doesn't have my respect though, they still get cooperation and (frosty) politeness. I'd expect the same from my kids.

Cherrychasingdotmuncher

You sound like the perfect parent, if only they were all like you.

Sarah

If a teachers say no, regardless of how desperate he/she is a response like I got today is unnactable. As cherry said lessons are not that long.

Two things which are also interesting points about the deterioration of behavior of certain children.

Already touched upon, the whole purpose of school is to prepare children for work as an adult. The idea is that teachers are building up human capital which will be unleashed later for the benefit of society. Children and parents do not see the teacher as the first 'boss'. I've worked for plenty of crappy bosses. It doesn't matter how crap they are as a boss. A good report at end of term is achieved by doing homework on time, correctly and behaving in class. A good appraisal at work is achieved by completing work on time, correctly and getting along with everyone in the office.

2- I remember as a child in the 80s it wasn't uncommon for a child of unmarried parents to be referred to as a bastard. Now more are born out of wedlock than in wedlock and there are many more fractured families with a mother having children by different men. I can't help but wonder if there is a correlation between the children being rude at school and if there are half/step siblings in their family. Of course there was always a couple of rude children but there seems to be more today. Of course it could be a function of age and 30 years ago our teachers were in despair with our behavior as it was so much worse than previous generations.

I am a nursery teacher. I work with three and four year olds in a school setting attached to their Reception classes. I have had these cherub faced darling tell me to f off, been called a motherf c, and been kicked/punched/scratched/spat at. The parents are in no denial about their children, but they shrug and say "Yeah I know," as though it's a personality trait and not something they have control over.

I love teaching but it is so draining, especially when you go in with such good intentions only to be torn down again and again, and, as others have said, we are frequently made scapegoats in the media and lack of respect is indeed becoming an epidemic.

The parents are in no denial about their children, but they shrug and say "Yeah I know," as though it's a personality trait and not something they have control over.
Secondary equivalent is 'i know. We don't know what to do because we've tried everything. They're still more concerned with seeing their friends, xbox etc than doing homework/she's so tired because she's messaging friends at midnight but she's a teen so what do you do about it?'.

So ground them, limit their console time, take their x box off them, take phones off them at night, sit with them while they do their homework. Do something that proves you actually want them to acheive in school rather than act like this situation came from nowhere.

Totally agree that it is down to how they are brought up and parents attitudes towards teachers letting the kids think they are exempt from rules.
Plenty of examples .

My boy needed the toilet desperate that is why he f***g swore. ( he is like the other 27 children and must wait until after lesson, he was not that desperate he waited 1hr 40 mins)
You should not make someone stand up for 2 hours. ( she didn't realise she was swinging)
He was talking that is why he wasn't doing his work. (I am the teacher what goes says)

With the toilet rule if girls explain quietly they are on their periods at the beginning of the day, and I believe they are genuine then yes they go. Usually though they bring a note but understand it is not to be taken advantage of and constant excuses to go to the toilet from a girl who seems to be on an evee ending period will be refused. Shouting I am on rag gets a no too.

Phoenixrose

Disgusting.

I would have thought good old fashioned common sense could be used re the toilet? Teachers will know which children are taking the piss (pun intended).

I’m questioning this because my DD1 has had issues with the toilet and used to soil or wet her knickers (up to the age of 7, she doesn’t now, thankfully). Whereas obviously there will be some children that you know will be trying it on.

FYI, I would never undermine the teacher to my DD. When she used to say that she wasn’t allowed to go to the toilet I would reply, ‘You should have gone during break time/lunchtime.’

I remember as a child in the 80s it wasn't uncommon for a child of unmarried parents to be referred to as a bastard. Now more are born out of wedlock than in wedlock and there are many more fractured families with a mother having children by different men. I can't help but wonder if there is a correlation between the children being rude at school and if there are half/step siblings in their family

How lovely. Yes, must be these evil single mums having kids out of wedlock . Lets go back to stigmatising children just because their parents hadn't signed a piece of paper.

Lets go back to stigmatising children just because their parents hadn't signed a piece of paper
I don't think that's what the poster meant at all.
There are more fractured families now, for whatever reason. Although that does not automatically mean all children from those families are adversely affected, many will be.
It IS much harder being a single parent. It's not blaming anyone..it's just the way it is.
My daughter was massively affected when my husband and I divorced. Both my children's lives were turned upside down.
We shouldn't ignore the effect our choices have on our children.

papa you are misunderstanding what I posted. The fact is that a child today is a lot more likely to have a half or step sibling. Yes it's good we have totally moved away from calling a child a bastard. However the fact remains it's easily disruptive to a child to have a blended family. Obviously not always disruptive but often it is. You just need to take a gander at the step parents thread to see that. I just wonder if the changing dynamics of our society is a factor driving the disrespect directed at teachers by certain children.

The reason kids are rude is because their parents are generally also rude and disrespectful. They have not been taught to respect adults or authority figures. Some of them might be experiencing trauma of broken homes and are acting out- most are just rude. Blended families do not by themselves cause rude behaviour and nor does single parenthood. It's probably more to do with witnessing your mum screaming at some poor pensioner to fuck off because s/he has parked in a parent and child space, as we have seen numerous times on here.

I remember as a child in the 80s it wasn't uncommon for a child of unmarried parents to be referred to as a bastard

Our 12-year-olds were thrilled recently to discover they are "proper bastards"

Lol that I'm the cause of all the problems because I think one punishment is unreasonable and that trust until proved otherwise should be the default position on toilet emergencies. My kids are terrified to put a foot wrong in school, that's why they'd be traumatised by an extreme punishment, and would soil themselves rather than go to the loo when told not to. I always back up school rules with them. That's why I'm keen for the rules to be as humane as possible. I may not be a teacher but half my family are and a number of friends. My family are not your problem kids.

Definitely it comes back to the parents, the majority of times. Either parents who are abusive, aggressive, and foul mouthed or parents who jump to their children's defence the minute anyone criticises them.

The child of the former type of parents knows no better because that's what they witness in their day to day life. The child of the latter type knows they're out of order but also knows there'll be no consequences because their parents will defend them, make excuses or outright deny that their perfect child would behave like that.

@Pengggwn, obviously yes, and I did use to say to DD1 that she needed to go in her own time, but she took a long time to learn that. But the issues with her wetting or soiling herself have now thankfully stopped so it’s no longer something I’m concerned about.

Pengggwn

Exactly. They need the toilet because they haven't been at break and lunch. I feel my policy is fair, if I suspect a period or they have a medical problem I let them go.

Catkind

You are entitled to your opinion.

I decided to speak to the boys parent regarding the toilet issue and she was mortified at the language and agreed he should go at break and lunch. Incidentally not all children are abusive. I refused a girl this afternoon and she said " Sorry Miss LM I know it's not allowed and I should have gone at lunch" and sat back down.