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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kids shouldn't talk to teachers like this.

445 replies

onlyindreams · 03/10/2017 17:18

I realise that the majority of kids will show respect to teachers but some of the stuff my dgc tell me is awful. One girl called her teacher a disgusting human being" , another said "you dirty little peado", another one said, when asked not to shout "who do you think you're talking to".

How has it all come to this, i despair, where's the respect gone, please tell me it's not all that bad and not typical of the average 12/13 year old and probably above.

OP posts:
Mumandteacher123 · 04/10/2017 20:06

I can vouch for this. I am subjected to verbal abuse like this on a regular basis...

MaisyPops · 04/10/2017 20:07

subtext: I am not in a popularity contest and don't give a rat's arse whether he likes me or not.
I'm with you. And actually what's interesting is when it comes to GCSE most students actually want to be taught be a strict teacher.

And even though I don't respect/agree with all members of my senior management team, I would never swear at them or be insubordinate because if I did, I would rightly be fired.
This.
Thinking and acting are very different.
I can think what I like, but it doesn't give me a right to be rude.

I hate the phrase 'snowflake', but I do wonder what some of these kids will do when the workplace and general life wob't indulge them.

Pengggwn · 04/10/2017 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mittens1969 · 04/10/2017 20:07

@Lm9004, I would agree with there being consequences, just not standing for that long, 10 minutes would do imo, and maybe talking to DH and me about it so we could back you up at home.

As to the bad language of course I’d be cross - but with DD! There’s no way that would be acceptable.

As it happens DD behaves well at school, it’s at home where the anger explodes.

DakotaFanny · 04/10/2017 20:08

This is so depressing. The comment from the parent who was eating her tea is outrageous!!!!

Papafran · 04/10/2017 20:10

Sarah, not trying to dispute your experience but I had a friend at school who also insisted the teachers hated her 'for no reason'. Believe me, there were many, many, many reasons why she was frequently in detention etc. However, last time I saw her she proudly told me that her 5 yo had told his football coach to 'fuck off' which was apparently hilarious, so it seems to have been passed on down the generations....

MaisyPops · 04/10/2017 20:12

With respect, if you had any idea how many times TODAY I have heard 'But I was only...' or 'I was just...' you might be a bit more aware of why you got shouted at. I haven't shouted today, but I have given detentions for students doing what you seem to think of as you 'simply doing X'. And why? Because X was the precise thing I had asked them seven or eight times not to do. Silent working means silent working. It doesn't mean help Bob with his work, it doesn't mean jump in with an answer to my question to Bill. It means no talking. I get frustrated having to explain this to fifteen year olds (who actually understand it perfectly well).

Seconded.
If I want silent working, i want silent working. If they have a question they raise their hand.

I don't care if they were helping Daniel with his work ot asking to borroq a pen from Charlotte or discussing the latest gossip with Sarah. I want silence.

'I was just...'children with 'they were just...' parents are the ones who end up convinced all the teachers are being mean to them when really they need to learn ti behave.

CoffeeMilkNoSugar · 04/10/2017 20:15

To whoever removed the chair from the student - GOOD! It won't kill the student, and they might actually learn something from the experience. Classroom is not the right place for kiddocracy.

Lm9004 · 04/10/2017 20:15

Maisypops

Totally agree, I could have phoned home today regarding the two boys but didn't as I expect the response would have been he was talking to his freind or you cannot stop my son from going to the toilet.

crazycatgal · 04/10/2017 20:16

My friend who is a TA in a primary school was told to fuck off by a 5 year old. The parent has often been called into reception due to the behaviour of her children and if you see her you'll know why the children are like that. Stood in the school reception swearing her head off on the phone.

Papafran · 04/10/2017 20:17

Lm you would probably have been accused of breaching his human rights.

MaisyPops · 04/10/2017 20:18

lm
And the sad thing is that the people who will suffer in the long run from such shockingly low expectations and entitlement culture are the children.

At some point they will get a very rude awakening that they aren't unique & exempt from res, others don't have to earn their respect, and they can't conduct themselves how they see fit.

Lm9004 · 04/10/2017 20:18

Coffeemilknosugar

Thank you. The kids of today, one today threatened to piss in class and another was rude when giving an instruction. I honestly don't know where they learn to behave in such a manner.

Lm9004 · 04/10/2017 20:20

Papafran

Yes that is a common response when I say no to a toilet request.

eulmh · 04/10/2017 20:22

I've been told to F off and all sorts. It rarely happens as you can generally sense when a situation is going downwards and you put measures in place to handle the situation but sometimes it doesn't work, there are supposed to be consequences for it at my school and we've had a change of management so hopefully that will come into play. Those sorts of things should result in isolation/reflection whatever the school calls it

notanotherNC · 04/10/2017 20:24

This is how a lot of parents talk to their children. Which is why children think this is the norm. This is why we would only private school or for some reason we couldn't afford we would home ed. Keep our kids away from the kids who are being dragged up.

KA85ALIVE · 04/10/2017 20:26

As a classroom teacher with 12 years experience, I've been sworn at more in the past 3 years than ever before....I'd suggest it's mainly due to moving to an establishment in an area where this type of language is more common (due to a number of social factors) than where I was before...I highly doubt I'm suddenly 'the kind of person who doesn't command respect'.
Smile I don't believe anyone deserves to be verbally abused for doing their job, regardless of their 'command' 😂

Copperspot · 04/10/2017 20:27

I am a TA in ks2, we have a lot of kids from less than pleasant backgrounds, with very undesirable home lives. Yesterday another TA in my year was talking to a year 4 about his bad behaviour and was told to 'shut her fucking mouth' Sad

Last week one of the kids in my class (y5) got angry and called another child 'a stupid little dickhead'. I took him out into the corridor to calm him down and said "that isn't appropriate language you can't talk to people like that, etc'

His response was 'i didn't know it was that bad Miss. My mum calls me it all the time...'

So so sad Sad

It shouldn't be this bad with 8/9 year olds!

MaisyPops · 04/10/2017 20:27

I honestly don't know where they learn to behave in such a manner

From the types of parent who:
slag school off at home
Bad mouth the teachers
Threaten to call and complain for any non-issue
Tell the child if anyone annoys them to hit them
Tells the child to 'walk out if...'
Tells the child 'to tell miss/sir that I SAID...'
Probably speaks down to waiting staff and shop assistants
Lets the kids off homework if they don't fancy checking it
Kicks off at a store assistant because they didn't have her size
Is pushy at the dance studio/youth theatre/football pitch to make sure everyone knows how special their child is
Speaks to anyone they don't respect in a way that is rude
Swear regularly in front of the children
Bitches about their boss/work in front og thr kids (e.g. 'so i said to David that he can do one if he thinks I'm going to do x y z. Who does he think he is)

Select any of those sorts of behaviours abd you can see the template for interactions being passed on.

MaisyPops · 04/10/2017 20:30

And then there are the really aad situations where home is awful and they speaking how people speak to each other in their house.
I had a class years ago (secondary) where we had to teach group conversation and how to disagree politely. Their peer to peer interaction was so angry over nothing.

On balance this group are lesson common in my experience than ny last post.

LongWavyHair · 04/10/2017 20:30

Some secondary school aged kids are disgustingly rude and horrible, and anyone who works in a secondary school and therefore has to put up with them deserves a big shiny medal!

Copperspot · 04/10/2017 20:33

Oh and to clarify i am in no way saying that a deprived background leads to bad behaviour. It's more drink / dv / constant rotation of partners, criminal activity etc.

wannabestressfree · 04/10/2017 20:35

Well I am the person who runs the unit both for short stay and long stay. We range from daily residents (for swearing, not attending detentions, walking out of lessons) to long stays (can be in there from 3 weeks to until they leave). I have been threatened with violence, assaulted, sworn at daily, all sorts of mischief! We have all core subjects taught by qualified teachers including myself and all long stays pick up Extra b-tecs to get into college.

It’s not more fun- other than me being slightly more lenient (only because it’s the last stop saloon) and I have a dry sense of humour. I have also been there an age and have had three tall sons go through the school!

It’s bloody hard and sometimes I struggle. I have cried three times this term but it’s rewarding. I am just about to start chemo again so they will torment the poor soul who is my replacement for the next few weeks. We run the unit properly as it saves on the 9 grand it costs to send them to a PRU.

Behaviour has deteriorated and we are full with a list and we had 1800 through the doors on open evening. I rarely see supportive parents but it’s a job I love :)

DiggyDiggyHole · 04/10/2017 20:35

The other huge problem that this deterioration in behaviour causes is the impact on the enjoyment and the learning of the others in the class. Most days on supply, I have a great day teaching. Occasionally I have a time when all I’ve done is firefight and stop a riot breaking out, and those schools I don’t return to. I have huge respect for staff that bother working in tough schools when they could be elsewhere.

wannabestressfree · 04/10/2017 20:38

Without breaking confidentiality all of our long stays have heart breaking stories. We always teach life skills and how to talk to each other... no shouting etc. They have little or no social skills.