DH wants to dye his hair

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

DH is mid thirties with a fair amount of grey and had suddenly decided that he has to dye it. The main reason for this, he says, is that nobody will hire him because they think he's too old and irrelevant (he does not work in a glamourous job).

I think dyed hair looks weird on men, and like his hair exactly the way it is. Also, he has no idea of the upkeep he'd be inflicting upon himself FOREVER.

Nevertheless he's asked me to dye it for him and we're in a stand off situation because I'm refusing. AIBU?

He sounds like he’d need help crossing the road to get to the hairdressers.

And he needs to get his tooth sorted, it would put me off employing somebody (sorry)

honestly, I'd say the tooth and the nostril hair and the dodgy hygiene are going to be far greater disadvantages than his grey hair.

That said, in general I could see why men would want to dye their hair - I was at a 30 year reunion recently and the guys looked so much older than the women by and large - nearly all of it down to hair - going bald or grey really does age you. I would only let him do it if he got a really decent job done though. A bad dye job is worse than grey.

Yes I have to admit in this situation I might make some suggestions, based on my years of experience - e.g. don't go a lot darker if you want it to look natural. Put vaseline round your hairline. Cover everything in black towels / clingfilm first.

Could he shave his head? Number 1 all over?

With a missing tooth and excess nostril and ear hair, I can't see this being an overall good look.

Ha Ha Ilove He could look like this:

www.google.co.uk/search?q=jean+luc+picard&safe=active&client=safari&rls=en&dcr=0&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjHnK714NTWAhWZHsAKHbk9DC8Q_AUICigB&biw=1240&bih=648#imgrc=ayhJbBVfrLaarM:

Some men look good grey, some don't. Mine doesn't - he has thick, curly dark brown hair and greyness makes him look a bit too mad professor.

I used to dye it for him (foils so it didn't look fake or too drastic) but his hairdresser recommended shampoo that you use every few washes. Just looked in the bathroom and it's Just for Men ControlGX and it does look natural. There's no drastic colour change or roots.

I might try it myself actually.

I love Jean Luc Picard

Martin Kemp, George Clooney, Mark Harmon..... just saying... get him to look at pictures of them

Martin Kemp, George Clooney, Mark Harmon..... just saying... get him to look at pictures of them

Yeah, none of whom have unkempt eyebrows, excess nostril hair or missing teeth.

Just saying.

Yeah, none of whom have unkempt eyebrows, excess nostril hair or missing teeth. I might still, you know, George Clooney with one of the above. Possibly not all.

You can get men’s dye that is just a wash in thing like shampoo I’d tell him to get that so he can do it himself it is really easy

He really isn't capable of dying his own hair. He barely remembers to brush his teeth twice a day. I have to order his prescriptions for him because he never remembers to put them in on time. He runs out of pants/socks regularly because he kicks them off next to the bed instead of putting them in the wash basket.

So how does he intend to hold down a job then?

On the fence. Iv only known about one guy who dyed his hair. No one knew it was dyed and it did make him look years younger. He was always being mistaken for being in his late 30s when he was over 50

'You are obviously capable OP, why wouldnt you help?'

Sounds like this dude needs to start helping himself tbh.

My colorist has a great technique for men where she leaves a little grey around the temples but covers most of the grey with a natural shade. You wouldn't think their hair was died -- quite the opposite. You'd think they were maturing in the most lovely way.

Hairdressers also do eye brows.

I wouldn't dye any one's hair. Having tried my own a few times, I've made peace with leaving it to professionals!

urgh - he sounds like a prince.
the dye job might only emphasise the nostril hair. ew.

My DH uses women’s dye as Just For Men is crap. Just the wash in wash out stuff. If he can’t do it himself then I’ll assume there’s something wrong with him, it’s so simple

I don’t see many mid thirties blokes with unkept nostril and eyebrow hair plus a missing tooth.

If he's applying for jobs and not getting interviews, it's not his appearance.

If as you say, his personal hygiene is lacking and he is getting interviews, it may just be his general appearance.

It might be worth a shot. Do it before an interview.

Do you really believe he’s incapable of reading the instructions on a box of hair dye? If so, how does he function in life?
You are treating him like a child ( cause he acts like one) and he is behaving like one. Yuk, what a gross dynamic to have.

Warn him about the ammonia.

Get him to a dentist and hygienist.

Throw out, clean or repair his clothes. Keep one set of gardening clothes.

Go with him to Boots and choose a dye that won't look too stupid.

Tie him down and set a hose on him.

Honestly, OP, you're making him sound like Stig of the Dump.

Ah, with the overgrown eyebrows and nostril hairs I don’t think covering up grey hair will make much difference. And if was my DH he’d be rushing around to get his prescriptions sorted, and going commando when the clean underwear runs out, because I’m not a maid.

I'd think he'd be less likely to get the job if he dyed his hair. It's his hair though so if he wants to get it done you'd be best off suggesting he goes to the hairdressers. One look at the price list should put him off.