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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH wants to dye his hair

109 replies

lookingforthecorkscrew · 03/10/2017 15:37

DH is mid thirties with a fair amount of grey and had suddenly decided that he has to dye it. The main reason for this, he says, is that nobody will hire him because they think he's too old and irrelevant (he does not work in a glamourous job).

I think dyed hair looks weird on men, and like his hair exactly the way it is. Also, he has no idea of the upkeep he'd be inflicting upon himself FOREVER.

Nevertheless he's asked me to dye it for him and we're in a stand off situation because I'm refusing. AIBU?

OP posts:

ibuiltahomeforyou · 03/10/2017 15:57

Surely unruly nostril and eyebrow hairs would be more off putting than grey hair?

A lack of personal hygiene/grooming might suggest to employers that he is sloppy about his work which could be the offputting element at interviews. Not saying everyone has to look like a Ken doll, but a modicum of personal pride would stand him in good stead.

Bridge9484 · 03/10/2017 15:57

Poor bloke. I used to dye my ex's hair for him, didn't bother me at all. I used to quite enjoy picking out the dye and doing it for him. It only lasts 6 weeks so it's not going to matter long term if it looks shit

Jaxhog · 03/10/2017 15:57

Take him to a reputable hairdresser and get it done there. Then it will be done subtly, and it won't be your fault if he doesn't like it.

squoosh · 03/10/2017 15:58

He’ll have to do a lot of Macca style thumbs up once the barnet is the perfect shade of Autumn Sunset.

Obviously he can dye his hair whatever colour he likes but for me it’s on a par with a man wearing fake tan. A fanny chiller.

ofshoes · 03/10/2017 15:58

I quite fancy a deep bluish purple beard and hair but annoyingly don't seem to be grey enough yet, it might have to wait until my 50s

Original poster

lookingforthecorkscrew · 03/10/2017 15:59

He has a job that he's allowed to look pretty shabby for, tbh. His friends/colleagues are all similarly shabby. I don't mind him looking unkempt at all but find it quite funny/sweet/naive that he thinks dying his greying hair is vital to ensuring work keeps coming in. He looks his age, no older or younger.

OP posts:

CockacidalManiac · 03/10/2017 15:59

I’m surprised he can function in the world of work, because you’ve made him sound fucking useless.

category12 · 03/10/2017 15:59

Buy him some nose hair clippers.

He's old enough to read the dye packet himself.Give him the name of a salon if he's likely to balls it up. I wouldn't be doing it for him.

squoosh · 03/10/2017 16:00

Long nostril hair and a missing tooth……and he’s worried about the grey hair?

Lovemusic33 · 03/10/2017 16:00

He would have to die it a lot more often than every 6 weeks, hair and beards grow quite quickly. If he wants it done then he should do it himself, I'm sure you don't ask for his help to die your hair?

CadnoDrwg · 03/10/2017 16:00

YABU...a bit, anyone can decide whatever they want when it comes to their own hair etc (once they are past 18 and pay for it themselves).

However YANBU to refuse to have any part in it. Tell him if he wants it coloured he needs to budget for it to happen every 6 weeks and he'll need to get it done by a professional.

Original poster

lookingforthecorkscrew · 03/10/2017 16:01

I've bought him two nose hair clippers over the years, he lost them both

OP posts:

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/10/2017 16:01

Do you dye tour hair OP?

ILoveMillhousesDad · 03/10/2017 16:03

I've bought him two nose hair clippers over the years, he lost them both

Omg. You make him sound worse with every post.

It sounds like you are his mum.

squoosh · 03/10/2017 16:03

He's lucky he found you OP.

Vitalogy · 03/10/2017 16:06

Could you show him pictures of celebs like Martin Kemp, he looks much better grey.

fairyofallthings · 03/10/2017 16:09

YABU, he's an adult not a child and it's his decision to make and not yours. I do think that dyed hair on men looks slightly ridiculous though this is nothing to do with the fact that I like men with grey hair

sizeofalentil · 03/10/2017 16:13

If he wants to do this, he NEEDS to go to a hairdressers, at least the first time.

He should ask them to leave salt and pepper sides and sideburns and blend the colour in. So it looks more natural.

StigmaStyle · 03/10/2017 16:13

He barely remembers to brush his teeth twice a day. I have to order his prescriptions for him because he never remembers to put them in on time. He runs out of pants/socks regularly because he kicks them off next to the bed instead of putting them in the wash basket

Ooh are you with my ex? :o

Anyway, of course he has every right to dye his hair, as do you and I. If you're refusing to help on the basis that it would look stupid, YABU. But YANBU if you just don't want to do yet another thing for him.

He can easily do it himself if he wants to. It's not exactly hard to learn, there are instructions. If he can hold down a job he can dye his hair.

ChicRock · 03/10/2017 16:14

His time and money would be better spent at a dentist by the sounds of it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/10/2017 16:14

Women are supposed to spend time, money and energy making themselves look nice. They're even supposed to enjoy it (spa day, anyone?). But men can shamble around with missing teeth and hair sprouting from every orifice and sulk when their wives refuse to spend more time and energy dying their hair.

Tell him to learn off the box like I did at 15. Be prepared to have a bathroom that looks like a crime scene.

deepestdarkestperu · 03/10/2017 16:15

Wow, he sounds like a toddler. What kind of grown man is completely incapable of basic self-care?!

YANBU. If he wants it dyed that badly, he can do it himself.

FoolForYourLoving · 03/10/2017 16:16

What about this stuff....

callmeadoctor · 03/10/2017 16:16

Could he shave his head? Number 1 all over? Thats what my DH does and it looks much better.

Colabar · 03/10/2017 16:17

I once saw a man in the distance and thought for a second he had a black cat on his head, it turned out to be his very black dyed hair.

I find dyed hair usually makes men's faces look older, especially since the majority use a black dye.

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