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Original poster

To think my cleaner shouldn't eat all the biscuits

283 replies

thepurplehen · 01/10/2017 20:36

I've noticed that my cleaning lady is clearing me out of biscuits. She eats an entire biscuit tin whilst she's in my home. So 1-2 packets. She's never asked if it's ok or replaced anything. I've never offered them to her either.

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 02/10/2017 17:40

I do agree that she should be offered tea and biscuits, - I always offer refreshments to anyone working for me, but I would be surprised if they ate a whole packet of biscuits or two packs. I always put out a generous amount of biscuits ( although less than a whole packet) and no one ever eats them all.

MarthaArthur · 02/10/2017 17:40

I think regarding the Op though if shes eating all of the biscuits then shes taking the piss and i would mention it.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 02/10/2017 17:41

Cleaning someone's house is a backbreaking job? We all clean our houses - our backs are not broken!

Whitney168 · 02/10/2017 17:42

I could quite easily scoff two packets of biscuits.

Really?! I thought I was bad ...

I can't believe the things I read on here sometimes. 'She might be starving, buy more biscuits'?!

Firstly, no, can't say I'd ever have thought to provide biscuits for someone who is only doing a couple of hours work, and is being paid a decent working wage (which they almost certainly don't pay tax on).

OP, it's definitely not about the biscuits. This is not normal behaviour and personally I would be worried about what else might go missing. It shows a remarkable lack of respect and boundaries.

SoyYo · 02/10/2017 17:48

Agree.
At best odd behaviour. At worst petty thieving.
Either way not cool. OP is not being unreasonable in questioning it.
Also I don't understand all the judgemental comments about the cleaner not being paid enough, or even some people thinking it is a horrible job.
My cleaner has many clients, she's told me she loves the freedom she has, she even picks and chooses who she works for (she is very good at what she does). Some people actually like to clean for a living (why not?), are very good at it, and earn a decent amount while they are at it.

Plus their customers are usually very very grateful for the help...

ChocolateWombat · 02/10/2017 17:49

I'm always surprised by how many people hire workers to do jobs, but then don't seem able to communicate with them.

If you have a cleaner, babysitter, Gardner, tree surgeon etc etc then it's really important to communicate clearly.

  • spell out what you need doing and expect
-spell out the pay and hours
  • be clear if there is any flexibility or none and if some, what amount
  • be clear about tea breaks, use of kitchen, loo etc
  • voice anything you are concerned about such as sub-standard work, finishing early, behaviour
  • be prepared to listen to them too
  • ask them how things are going and if there are any queries
  • always be polite and clear. If not satisfied, be clear and state what you expect. Give warnings if needed. Terminate employment if needed.

I think main thing is to be clear in your own mind about expectations because then you can voice them to employee.

If you have a good employee, remember to thank them and show gratitude. A gift at Christmas never goes amiss. And if you've had a staff member for a long time, remember that a bit of give and take benefits everyone - but you have to be happy with it. And don't be a tight-ass employer - this often leads to poor behaviour from staff.

sizeofalentil · 02/10/2017 17:50

I can't believe the things I read on here sometimes. 'She might be starving, buy more biscuits'?! - I agree with this. If she was that hungry, wouldn't she take things like toast or cereal something? If she's going to take food she hasn't been offered because she's starving, then why not take something more substantial that won't be missed. Two packets of biscuits is a massive amount.

I really want to get to the bottom of why she's doing this. Feel like I'm becoming obsessed.

notreallythere · 02/10/2017 17:52

Could you just leave the biscuit tin pointedly empty (maybe a few stale crumbs for good measure) in the same place as usual, and hide your biscuits elsewhere for a while?

And put a shopping list on the fridge with BISCUITS!!! underlined Grin

ChocolateWombat · 02/10/2017 17:56

And if you are unsure if a employee has been up to a certain behaviour (like eating your biscuits) tread carefully but firmly.
Establish the facts first. Check DH or DC hasn't scoffed them.
Check with cleaner in a non confrontational way.
'Just wanted to check, I had some biscuits here earlier which aren't here now. Have you put them somewhere.' Ie give a person a chance to say what they have done and to do it without feeling under attack.
Or
'JUst wondered, have you eaten some of my biscuits? I thought they were here earlier'

And then if they admit it, simply state the facts of what you want to happen next.
'Oh okay, well please can I ask that you don't do that in future'
'OH okay, well in future I don't mind you eating one or two, but please don't take the whole packet'
'Perhaps I haven't been clear. It's fine to stop for 5 mins for a quick drink. Help yourself to X or Y, but please don't take the food.'

If you think there is lying then it's time to end the relationship.

ChocolateWombat · 02/10/2017 17:58

If you have stable shed from other family members that the only person who can eating the biscuits is the cleaner, there is no need to pussy foot round this and be too embarrassed or too polite to bring it up.
There is a difference between being aggressive and rude and communicating assertively to establish what is and isn't acceptable. Just do it.

harshbuttrue1980 · 02/10/2017 18:15

Faults on both sides. I have a cleaner, and she only comes for two hours but I wouldn't dream of not telling her to help herself to a biscuit if she needs one. The OP has a cleaner for 3 hours, and it seems rude not to offer a biscuit. However, the cleaner is in the wrong too for taking so many - "help yourself to a biscuit" doesn't mean "scarf the lot".

However, I would be worried that anyone who has to steal food might be in real poverty. That's not the OP's fault if she's paying properly, but some people do find it hard to make ends meet, hence the use of food banks. Could you ask her if she's struggling? Then surely it would be the charitable thing to help her out as you are well off enough to have a cleaner and she is so hard up. I'm a teacher, and when I was working in a state school I always had bananas and biscuits in my office, as some kids didn't get enough to eat.

silkpyjamasallday · 02/10/2017 18:25

Some people are just greedy. My mum used to leave out a nice selection of snacks and drinks for babysitters and my brother and I could have what was left over the next few days. We once had a babysitter we hadn't had before and she ate a pack of 4 doughnuts, a pack of 5 cookies, two big packs of sensations crisps a whole big bottle of coke and part of a big bottle of Fanta. We were Shock and annoyed there were no treats left for us. I therefore can easily believe a cleaner could polish off more than a packet of biscuits in 3 hours. I think the note in the tin from 'mum' that a pp suggested is a good non confrontational way of putting a stop to it. But equally I'd be checking that other things haven't gone missing just in case, and then reconsider her employment

MyBrilliantDisguise · 02/10/2017 18:26

There's no fault on the OP's side! Someone can be in the house for 3 hours without eating all the biscuits!

derxa · 02/10/2017 18:32

'OH okay, well in future I don't mind you eating one or two, but please don't take the whole packet' Is this how you speak to your cleaner?
If you don't want the cleaner to eat biscuits then don't leave biscuits.
The time to worry would be if other things go missing or she doesn't do a good job.

RebootYourEngine · 02/10/2017 18:40

One or two biscuits would be ok but one or two packets is taking the biscuit Wink

It is ridiculous that you can not have something on display in your house without someone thinking that they can help themselves to it.

RebootYourEngine · 02/10/2017 18:42

The biscuits are not out on a plate on the worktop they are in a biscuit tin. Would those saying dont leave them out be happy if someone took your tea bags out of the tin or bread from the bread bin because it is the same thing.

Coastalcommand · 02/10/2017 18:44

Wouldn't bother me. Can you afford more biscuits?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/10/2017 18:46

It's impossible to eat that amount of biscuits in one sitting without being ill

How I wish that were true . . . Sad Blush

TheKidsAreTakingMySanity · 02/10/2017 19:00

I can EASILY eat two packets of biscuits. Double that if it's Jaffa cakes. But I do wonder, if the cleaner is supposed to be cleaning for three hours, where is she getting the time to eat two full packets of biscuits. It's not like she would carry the tin round the house whilst operating the vacuum cleaner, or scrubbing the loo while holding a Bourbon in her other marigold clad hand.

One normally eats biccies sitting down with a cuppa. Unless she eats like the Cookie Monster, she is spending a LOT of time on tea breaks. I would suggest a nanny cam and see if she is doing an hour's work for the price of three. Cleaners aren't cheap, they can choose their clients and their hours so I doubt it's poverty. If she was hungry she would eat real food. Sandwiches, cereal or something else more substantial than Chocolate Digestives.

JimLahey · 02/10/2017 19:13

That's bonkers Shock I wouldn't be thrilled with her...

I love how one or two posters at the start of this thread seemed to suggest you were at fault somehow OP! Starving her and paying her pittance.. really?! Hmm

TomboyFemme · 02/10/2017 19:32

I am currently a cleaner. Occasionally have a cup of tea if the client has previously said to help myself, I don't sit down to have it obviously, juse have it next to me and take sips as I work. I would possibly take 2 biscuits tops if I was super hungry and hadn't got food with me, OBVIOUSLY I would not empty the entire biscuit tin, even if it was full of bourbons which are obviously an excellent biscuit. So she's in the wrong. When are you going to tell us what you've done about it, OP?

A person suggested you encourage your cleaner to join a weightloss club. The actual fuck? Don't.

ChocolateWombat · 02/10/2017 19:45

It is totally up to the OP to establish what she thinks is acceptable and what she wants to happen.
If she is happy for the cleaner to have 2 biscuits, then fine. Be clear.
If she doesn't want her to eat any, that is also fine. Be clear.

It doesn't really matter if we think it is mean to not feed the cleaner, or if we would do so. It is totally up to the OP. Yes, 2 whole packets of biscuits is taking the piss and not normal, so now the Op needs to be clear what she considers acceptable and if she thinks this behaviour is a sign of greater untrustworthiness to get rid of her.
Communication is the key.

If I see hiring a cleaner, I would be clear if she could use my tea/coffee or not and I might probably say 'help yourself to A biscuit' (ie one!) but probably wouldn't feel the need, because no one needs food providing for a 2 or 3 hour slot - it's a job of work, not a coffee morning. My work don't provide me with biscuits and I'm there all day!
I'd also say if I expected her to work through the the full 2 hours (ie not sit down for a tea and biscuit break) or if I was happy for a sit down. In most cases, cleaners do work through. It is usually only 2 or 3 hours and most employers want the full time spent cleaning - fair enough. Most also don't mind the cleaner having a drink on the go whilst working.
I don't think there is any requirement at all to provide food for a couple of hours work.

ChocolateWombat · 02/10/2017 19:49

And I agree that it's not acceptable for cleaners or other po pole working in your house to help themselves to other household stuff without being told explicitly that they can. It wouldn't be acceptable to be having a piece of cheese out of the fridge, or taking some hair bands from the bedroom. Just becaue biscuits and quickly consumed doesn't make them fair game and free for the taking. There should be no need to stash everything away either....it should be obvious to a cleaner than unless invited, they don't consume the household stuff for themselves whilst working.

Andylion · 02/10/2017 20:11

no one needs food providing for a 2 or 3 hour slot - it's a job of work, not a coffee morning. My work don't provide me with biscuits and I'm there all day!

Agreed. Even if the cleaner brought her own food, I'd expect her not to stop for a break if she were only there for three hours. I think a drink would be ok, but I would expect her to bring it in a travel mug or water bottle.

SoyYo · 02/10/2017 20:27

Chocolate you give sound advice. OP take it.
Tomboy as a professional cleaner OP should listen to your common sense (and btw it was me that mentioned the "weight loss club" but it was said tongue in cheek, not seriously! Wink)