Monster in law problems

[ThaiRedCurry]

I admit I don't get along with my MIL we constantly argue and don't see eye to eye. She has taken DD out for a couple of hours (DD is 4 months old). I was absolutely horrified when I went to put the car seat in my MIL car. It was a total disgusting mess, dog hair everywhere and items all over the place including a bike not tied down. I chose to ignore but what really rattled my cage is that the dog was in the boot. The dog is unpredictable I've seen him pounce on people before admittedly he only has ever grabbed their clothes and not bitten anyone but I still don't like the dog being loose in the car. Should I say something to MIL like suggest that I pay for a dog grate for the car incase the dog decided to jump over and attack my baby?? Or should I just leave it. I'm maybe a little over the top as my sister was bitten by a family friends dog when she was 16, it really made a mess of her face.

I wouldn’t be letting any child in that! 4 months or 4 years!

Dog people often have very messy cars.

But a loose, unpredictable dog in a car with a child? Absolutely no way.

Would it be better received coming from her son?

Like I say I don't get along with them, so I didnt dare say anything incase I was accused as causing problems! The car was bloody disgusting but so is her house to be fair!

Son is golden boy so he wouldn't dare criticise mummy darlings car!

I'd rather risk falling out with my in-laws than put my 4 month old in a car with an unpredictable, unrestrained dog.

You're the mum. If you're not happy you need to speak up. You're going to have to do this for your child many times over the next few (many) years so start now.

A messy car isn't the problem, the dog loose in the car is.

What sort of problems will be worse than a dog loose in the car with your baby?

If you get a grate would she use it?

Loose dog around a small child - no way at all even if the dog never goes near anyone. That particular dog - not a chance in hell

Remind her it's now the law for a dog to be properly restrained in a vehicle.

I am a bit that you allowed that to be honest. So are you saying the bike was loose in the car and could have become dislodged and hit the baby if MIL had to break suddenly? As for the unpredictable dog ??

If you and DH are going to put your relationship with MIL ahead of your baby's safety there's a huge problem here.

Are you seriously saying your DH would rather not criticise his mother than flag up something that could endanger his child?

The messy car is very much a problem of there is a bike! No way would I allow this. Which is more important, your in laws or your child?

How is there a bike and dog in the boot?

SantaWontBeLong ooo that's very interesting to know! Maybe I will use that as part of my pitch when she drops off!

I am a dog person and I manage to keep my car clean. I also keep my dog in a car harness & dh has a dog barrier in his car. YAANBU .

I'm usually on the side of MILs when it comes to MN but nope... Yanbu.

Keep your daughter the fuck away from that car and that dog. Fuck that! It's a disaster just waiting to happen.

You put your 4 month old daughter in danger to avoid upsetting your MIL? You need to rethink your priorities.

It's not just the dog, it's the unsecured bike too. That's so dangerous.

I'm sorry but u actually cannot believe you let your baby off in a car with a loose dog with form for grabbing people all because you are afraid to rock the boat before you talk to your mil you need a long talk with yourself first

Yes and the unsecured bike - what the fuck were you thinking!!!!

No way should you put your young baby in such a dangerous situation just to avoid an awkward conversation.

You need to say something, It's not your fault they're being unsafe. It's your babies life, the dog could kill your baby and they're only tiny!!

No, you don't leave it and you don't let it happen again.
And no, you don't offer to pay.

Where have they gone and why?

People like this MIL rely on the likes of you not to confront and she likely knows as well that you dislike confrontation anyway. I daresay too that you come from an emotionally healthy family where such dysfunctional dynamics (your DH being the golden child here is also a role not without price) are unknown thankfully.

You certainly need to raise your all too low boundaries re your MIL in any case and also because if her dog bites your child you are going to be blamed for that happening. People like your MIL never apologise nor accept any responsibility for their actions.

You would not have tolerated this from a friend, your DHs mother is no different.