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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that he fancies me, and to tell him to BACK OFF

181 replies

MotherMucca · 29/09/2017 21:05

I'm a bit embarrassed about this, but I can't talk to anyone else about it.

I'm mentoring a student (he's about 25 and gorgeous). We have had a few meetings in Pret and we both enjoy wholesome, vegan food. So far, so normal (and dreamy)...

Anyway, earlier today we both chose the same sandwich... only there was only one left! Sad My mentee(?) looked me in the eye and said "well, I might be lucky next time" Blush I honestly didn't know where to look!!

I'm supposed to be meeting him and his tutor next month. I don't know what to do?!

OP posts:
Inertia · 30/09/2017 08:33

How is this meant to be funny?

MimiTheGnome · 30/09/2017 08:50

If I were you, I'd pour myself into some 'edgy' jeans and a strange coat, from somewhere like, oh I don't know, All Saints, buy him the sandwich that he wanted, and then tell him loudly and super aggressively to 'back off'. Bit of a mixed message, but it has everything you seem to want covered?

Ducknose · 30/09/2017 08:50

In future I would advise the roasted aubergine sandwich. It's IMPOSSIBLE to eat that in an attractive way and is sure to put him right off- it's just so yogurty and stringy.
🍆

IamSpartacusTheGardener · 30/09/2017 08:53

Typical vegan. I'm not buying this either....

To think that he fancies me, and to tell him to BACK OFF
BMW6 · 30/09/2017 08:59

OP you sound like a dirty old pervert

MadMags · 30/09/2017 09:00

The Chester Zoo thread was a good piece of trolling, IMO.

Although how sad that it was a teen?? God, I hope my kids are better adjusted than that!

The Frozen Cake was hilarious!

But every thread since has been utter shite and far too obvious.

If it's the same person: you've peaked. Go away and think of better material. And you need to get way more subtle.

ButchyRestingFace · 30/09/2017 09:01

If it's the same person: you've peaked. Go away and think of better material. And you need to get way more subtle.

I immediately assumed that it was the same person.

Opheliasgoldenwine · 30/09/2017 09:49

This can't be real.

LavenderDoll · 30/09/2017 09:56

He didn't do anything wrong ConfusedHmm

IhaveapenIhavepineapple · 30/09/2017 10:00

Did ye aye?

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 30/09/2017 10:10

I am so confused. Can someone, anyone, explain wtf this is?

Witchend · 30/09/2017 10:13

This reminds me when I was about 12yo and girls used to read every move in the boy they fancied (who clearly had no idea of their existence and didn't want to).
"Oh! He moved his book half an inch towards me, I know he fancies me and it's so embarrassing".
"He said I was in the way, he spoke to me!"

Thankfully most of them had grown out of it by about 14yo and I did my best to avoid any that hadn't.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 30/09/2017 10:19

You told me to have a look at MN but you're sure he wonmt recognise himself in themis thread?! Really...

kuniloofdooksa · 30/09/2017 10:19

He's 25

Irrelevant. The relationship of mentor-mentee is one where the ethical guidelines are the same as between any teacher/professor and a younger person in their charge. The fact that the young man is 25 obviously means that the op is safe from charges of paedophilia but that doesn't mean she can ignore the ethics. If she can't maintain professional distance and can't cope with quashing flirtatious behaviour that is clearly inappropriate then she may not be ready for the responsibility of mentorship.

intergalacticbrexitdisco · 30/09/2017 10:33

You should offer him a 'sausage sandwich'. Fnarr!

ThymeLord · 30/09/2017 10:45

I'm baffled by the person who suggests a 25 year old is young and immature.

InsomniacAnonymous · 30/09/2017 12:27

"If she can't maintain professional distance and can't cope with quashing flirtatious behaviour that is clearly inappropriate then she may not be ready for the responsibility of mentorship."

There wasn't any flirtatious, inappropriate behaviour, except in the mind of the OP!

astrotel · 30/09/2017 12:34

If you think that you have any kind of sexual feeling towards him then you should stop tutoring him immediately. Are you a qualified teacher? (I do realise he is an adult but this is poor professional boundaries)

There is nothing to suggest that he has been inappropriate from what you have posted but you certainly have. Posting about it on here confirms that.

Tameagobairanois · 30/09/2017 12:37

Do you feel he is mocking you?

Not sure why you want to tell him to back off if all he's done is flirt and you react on here with {swoon}

IN recent years though, I have felt that if a man a decade younger is flirting with me, it's because he ''knows'' that I couldn't possibly think I was in with a chance with him, so he feels safe flirting for Europe with the older woman. Have had that experience a few times and it makes me stony not swoony.

Maelstrop · 30/09/2017 12:40

I do need to tell his placement officer about his inappropriate behaviour however.

PMSL, you're an idiot/troll. You choose

MagentaRocks · 30/09/2017 12:45

Eh? Is this meant to be some funny 'in' joke that most of us aren't getting? I don't understand the point if that's the case.

flumpybear · 30/09/2017 13:06

Tell his placement officer what?! Seriously, he gave you a 'look'
Tell the placement officer if he does something bloody serious ffs - talk about trying to ruin his career/degree or whatever this poor child is doing with you

Maybe stop taking him to lunch too - I've only ever met my mentees in a meeting room or office

paxillin · 30/09/2017 13:25

I'd keep an eye on YOU if I was the placement officer who this was reported to.

MadMags · 30/09/2017 13:26

There's a troll who keeps posting obviously bullshit threads like this one.

But when s/he started off the threads were actually believable (and IMO entertaining).

It's just irritating now, which is a shame.

Years ago, we'd get the odd troll thread which was funny and harmless (the contaminated cake one). I think this troll is trying to emulate that but it's just not working anymore.

S/he'll come back and "admit" it's been him/her all along and expect people to laugh.

Sad, really.

SilverySurfer · 30/09/2017 19:23

Eye contact is normal when two human beings communicate - it doesn't mean anything like in your weird imagination. I think you should report him to his manager - give him a bloody good laugh.