To want to bedshare with my 3 week old?

[Lightsoutandawaywego]

Posted this in sleep, but also here for traffic...

My DD is 3 weeks old and is currently sleeping in a Moses basket next to our bed. DH has gone back to work this week after paternity leave so is spending weeknights sleeping in the spare bedroom (he has the sort of job that would be dangerous if he was overtired so we agreed that I would take care of the baby at night during the week and he would join us back in the bedroom at weekends until DD can sleep for longer periods).

DD wakes up every 2 hours for a bottle (she’s ff) and struggles to get back to sleep after that, so I feel like I’m awake almost all night with her. Sometimes I place her next to me on top of the duvet (the duvet is pulled up high on the bed and tucked in, so there’s no risk that she’ll suffocate) and she sleeps much better, until i then move her to the Moses basket and then she wakes up. I’m considering bed-sharing whilst DH isn’t in the bed, but im so scared that something will happen to her cos there’s a lot of info online about bedsharing and SIDS. For info, I don’t smoke, drink or take drugs, and im a light sleeper (I also sleep with the bedside light on so I can keep checking on her throughout the night), so I feel like I’m probably in a good position to bedshare.

Can anyone give me some tips on how to do this safely? There’s so much conflicting advice online that I don’t know what to believe. TIA x

The Q&A link I mean

Sorry that I didn’t reply to your comment, OP. I fell asleep and I’ve had a mad busy day! As others have clarified, the ISIS Durham research links more risks to cosleeping with ff babies than with bf. I personally wouldn’t/didn’t risk it when my baby was combi-fed but did once we were fully bf. I read all the research and decided that I wasn’t comfortable with the risk, mainly because I’d never forgive myself if something went wrong.
Once he was just bf, I followed the advice exactly and that made me feel more safe/secure/relaxed. That’s why I felt I should share that with you, so that you could also make your own informed decision x

A website called "Evolutionary Parenting" is hardly an unbiased or particularly reliable source.

NB I have not read it. So I have no idea whether I agree with what they are saying. But if you're looking for evidence to back up a point, it's not that.

YANBU it's natural and bloody lovely for all involved!

I'm not here to talk about relative risks, but rather the fact that you would be making a rod for your own back - shortbterm gain (a night's sleep) Vs longterm pain (a child who needs to sleep in your bed.

I've co-slept with all of mine early on, my 4&2 year old where ff from day one. I did it safely and enjoyed every minute. They now sleep happily in their room. 7month old (bf then ff) happily slept in his co-sleeper and now his cot. We had the odd night co-sleeping in the early days but the co-sleeper was the best thing ever, wish of had it with the others

I co slept with mine in those first few weeks when they still wake several times a night. Definitely get more sleep/rest that way.

I breastfed so could feed lying down next to them so it was just a point of easing away to my own space to sleep once they'd finished feeding. I kept the duvet separate and had baby swaddled in their own bedding.