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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Insta mums

999 replies

Harrielady · 27/09/2017 19:23

What the actual fuck?! I have just joined mumsnet and can say I will be leaving it after the negativity I've experienced. I joined expecting women helping women.
Women encouraging other women. Whether that's with their children, their marriage or their careers?! 'Insta mums' are mums who have decided a career in instagramming! And why the fuck not?! Before you ask no I am not an insta mum. Not that I wouldn't want to be - I just can't be bothered to tidy. But they do! They make their homes beautiful and enjoy decorating and showing their efforts off. Other women are inspired and they can bring many other women joy and happiness. Who are you bringing joy and happiness too? Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive! You bitch about these women spending their days cleaning and shopping and not 'caring for thier kids' but how are you fucking idiots any better?!? Your too busy slagging off other hard working women to get your kicks. It's sad. Pathetic and downright bullying.
Something's that have been posted have hurt 'insta mums' and have caused upset - what have they actually done to you?? You are no better than the disgusting internet trolls who target celebrities or others who are slightly better looking or better off than yourselves. Get a grip.

OP posts:
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7
greengrass1234 · 15/03/2018 18:31

I like that Clemmie tells those who criticise to 'jog on' but swiftly follows that with 'but not in a rude or aggressive way' 😁

Stickthatinyerpipe · 15/03/2018 18:38

I can’t stand the phrase ‘jog on’. I find it very aggressive! I also can’t bear the whole ‘women supporting women’ thing. It’s patronising to suggest that women shouldn’t express a different point of view to other women.

nowater34 · 15/03/2018 18:38

My post was prompted by some 14 yo girls saying to me how they wanted to be a young sexy mum like Kylie Jenner with a cute baby. It just struck me that the view young people are getting of motherhood is so skewed. Of course the old fashioned view where pregnant women were hidden/fragile wearing tents & then never allowed to get their identity back/forced into mum fashion isn’t right either.

appleblossomtree · 15/03/2018 18:55

I can't believe MOD is endorsing the 'tribe' surely as a midwife you would be encouraging women to relax at home; skin to skin, getting to know your baby and enjoying those special early days.

If you have a few grand knocking about get some help at home (cleaner/meals on wheels/childcare for older kids). But the focus should surely be on bonding and getting to know your baby.

LastNightsMakeUp · 15/03/2018 19:06

@appleblossomtree unless I’ve missed it I’m quite sure MOD has not endorsed it? It’s Clemmie Telford rather than Clemmie Hooper (MOD)

VileyRose · 15/03/2018 19:34

'Women supporting women'....unless you disagee...ha!Brew

Pommes · 15/03/2018 19:35

Has anyone watched Binky's story on Mummy Tribe? I'm cringing for them.

Lots of skinny, young, white 'yummy mummies' and not a baby in sight.

sweetmonkeys · 15/03/2018 19:44

@appleblossomtree It's Clemmie Telford who got involved in the mummytribe, not MOD.

Mumofkids · 15/03/2018 19:47

The Dorset cereal adverts just came up on my Instagram feed. The comments are hilarious. And not very good.

GlassHalfFullOfWee · 15/03/2018 20:00

The ‘women supporting women’ thing has become a trope for silencing dissenting voices. There’s nothing wrong with criticism that’s valid and given constructively. Obviously personal attacks are ad hominem and uncalled for.

MP understands how important it is to listen to negative feedback and use it in a constructive way. Instead of shutting down any comments with: ‘well you obviously don’t support women otherwise you’d kiss my arse and agree with everything I say.’

appleblossomtree · 15/03/2018 20:17

The two clemmies are far too confusing!

sweetmonkeys · 15/03/2018 21:03

MP is a masterclass in responding to criticism. If only others would follow her example.

Mumofkids · 15/03/2018 21:13

I felt really sorry for the one who pretended she had cancer. She was clearly so unhappy. They all were vile and I didn't see one post even sympathetic to her. Yet to do that something must be really wrong.

magickingdom82 · 15/03/2018 21:21

Wait...what? An instamum pretended to have cancer??? Are you serious? Who the hell would do that? Who was it?

magickingdom82 · 15/03/2018 21:23

MP is a masterclass in responding to criticism. If only others would follow her example.

A masterclass? Or just engages her brain more than the others? Not rocket science is it.

Mumofkids · 15/03/2018 21:27

I don't know if I should say on here, initially she was Raising* (her son's name) and then she changed it to her name. It was really odd as she was friends with the mother of 8 and went to lots of events etc, but suddenly admitted it wasn't true and whilst that is awful, they were all just so dreadful about it and it seemed like she'd got swept up in the attention and being a bit famous.

RedRedDogsBeg · 15/03/2018 21:28

God yes, I remember the fallout from that!

Mumofkids · 15/03/2018 21:30

Red all I could thing was how is she now? They all hate her and publicly skated her and it must've been so hard to tell the truth. I don't know, it was really sad.

sweetmonkeys · 15/03/2018 22:01

@magickingdom82 Yes, a masterclass. In comparison to her peers, some of whom do appear to think it rocket science.

easypeasylife · 15/03/2018 22:12

Yes I agree what really sets MP apart from her fellow instamums is her ability to take criticism gracefully. She acknowledges that she is aware that not everyone will like her or her style, and at the same time that the audience are key to the success. She doesn't come across as arrogant or make passive aggressive digs.

Babaloo88 · 15/03/2018 22:16

YES I remember that drama. The poor Mum, She went through so much and I felt so bad for her. She must be going through such a problematic time. I felt so uncomfortable watching Natasha bailie completely cashing in on it. She runs that compaign ‘are u ok Hun?’ Yet she abandons her best friend in her time of need. I don’t doubt that it would have been hard to forgive but the way she would make hash tags about her. It was just all unnecessary.

AdidasGirl · 16/03/2018 06:04

I don't understand how someone can be promoting "You ok Hun?" after what she did to her ex bff. To lie about something so awful just shows how mentally sick she was.The way NB has acted since is appalling. She is one who seems to jump on every bandwagon.
Asha needed help not to be destroyed on social media.NB even has a hashtag and she posted a picture of her and the other Insta Twats Mums looking smug and happy together.
She and her 'life coach' bff are promoting some sort of wellness day too.
Asha had a breakdown and all NB did was gain more followers.
It's almost tempting to go to one of her gigs where she's talking about mental health and call her out on her treatment of her ex bff.

VileyRose · 16/03/2018 07:16

It's unbelievable how people can talk about mental health only when it works in there favour.

VileyRose · 16/03/2018 07:16

Their*

PavlovaPrincess · 16/03/2018 08:13

Whilst I agree that NB is milking it for all she's worth, lying about having cancer is a completely shitty thing to do. Yes, AP needs help, but I don't think everything can be absolved by 'oh, she must have been in a bad place'.