Insta mums

[Harrielady]

What the actual fuck?! I have just joined mumsnet and can say I will be leaving it after the negativity I've experienced. I joined expecting women helping women.
Women encouraging other women. Whether that's with their children, their marriage or their careers?! 'Insta mums' are mums who have decided a career in instagramming! And why the fuck not?! Before you ask no I am not an insta mum. Not that I wouldn't want to be - I just can't be bothered to tidy. But they do! They make their homes beautiful and enjoy decorating and showing their efforts off. Other women are inspired and they can bring many other women joy and happiness. Who are you bringing joy and happiness too? Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive! You bitch about these women spending their days cleaning and shopping and not 'caring for thier kids' but how are you fucking idiots any better?!? Your too busy slagging off other hard working women to get your kicks. It's sad. Pathetic and downright bullying.
Something's that have been posted have hurt 'insta mums' and have caused upset - what have they actually done to you?? You are no better than the disgusting internet trolls who target celebrities or others who are slightly better looking or better off than yourselves. Get a grip.

I read a blurb about the mummy tribe thing, apparently it's all about self care and cos the nhs can't afford to keep mums in for 10 days post labour they're filling the gap by offering a special "mummy" retreat that costs a grand a time.

"Cos obviously we can't change the nhs" they say, no but maybe you could campaign for better post natal care? Better understanding of what it's like to be post natal? Rather than profiteering from it.

Oh it's just so rank.

Anyway binky from mic is leading it I think (Lol) and Steph don't buy her flowers is involved, clemmie Telford is there for her free holiday.

The mummytribe website is a hoot. One of the activities is:

“Guided hikes through the stunning town of Arundel. You will have the option of bringing your baby in their carrier.” 🤣

It's just so privileged. They act like they're keeping it real but they all live in £800k + Farrow & Ball houses and have rich husbands and seem to just spend all their time buying trendy tat and spending long weekends at Babington House.

I know they all get gifted loads of shit but even so, all MOD an FOD seem to do is buy things.

I love Mother Pukka though. She's the only one with a real point of view and who has something important to say beyond, 'oh look at me living my normal life in some £200 underwear. Stretch marks and cellulite look so much better draped in money.'

I bought into it for a while but it honestly makes me sick now.

Most of them lose popularity as the kids get older

Oh, totally. Hurrah For Gin used to be A list but she seems to have all but disappeared now her children are older and she can't blog about toddlers being psychos anymore.

I did really enjoy Hurrah For Gin, that wasn't a dig. But now my children are older too, I no longer give a shit about blog posts about toddlers being psychos.

It's a short lived moneymaker, that's for sure. Unless you decide to have a third child to keep the book deals going.

And what with motherof5boys, all this insane travelling! In a period of about 5 weeks they've stayed in about 25 different accommodations and daily taken on more sightseeing and activity mixed in with travelling hundreds of miles, each day than I do in a year. How the f are they still alive and talking to each other and what are they actually doing? (She is amazingly calm and unflustered but just following is exhausting)
FOD has a formula, ads followed by his clever, extremely time consuming, sometimes funny parental observations which feed right into his hungry followers who post so many gushing and grateful replies he can then slip in another ad. It seems to work as there's so many positive comments.

I just read the blurb too. ‘There’s no way the nhs can go back to the glory days’ why would staying in hospital for ten days seem like a fantastic relaxing idea? Has none of these mums stayed on a busy postnatal ward? Sharing a bay with other people’s screaming babies and snoring partners? Jeez. I’m glad the nhs discharges healthy well mums back home quicker!

It’s just another way to sell “stuff” to sleep deprived, vulnerable new mums. Add a yoga retreat to the list of stuff you think you need to be the perfect mum.

I don’t know what the tribe thing is but I remember there was some kind of retreat/hotel thing that opened in London for mums to check in after birth & rest, relax etc. It didn’t last very long. It definitely sounded interesting on paper but It was before social media was a thing.

I had my first baby in a lovely country hospital which was pretty quiet, but even then after a straightforward birth 24 hours was enough. With a premature baby I stayed much longer and it was so boring and I longed to be home with my other children. I had then next in a busy city hospital and oh my god, 24 hours was too much! The noise!! And all the babies!! The restricted visiting, it was so unrestful. Maybe the majority of followers are equally privileged and able to buy in to all these ads and consumerist bullshit. And maybe for me that's why it starting to grate. Instead of people feeling like you, it's like observing a privileged group of white women all forming a big gang and competing for the most likes or followers. There's a few real ones, whatever people say about unmumsy, she's still bathing her 3 kids in the shower and took a month off with her new baby. MP is definitely a human who listens and responds.

This is what I hate about social media - the narcissism. It's disgusting! What happened to doing stuff for other people or giving back to others, without worrying about how many followers or likes YOU have or constantly boasting about what new clothes YOU have just been #gifted. Honestly. There is more to life. Just buying stuff and vacuous chatting into other vacuous brain spaces. So.Over.It.

I just can't comprehend the urge to be talking into your phone all day long as if it's normal!

It's so odd and can't be good for your mental health. I wonder how much real life support/friends they actually have

It's so odd and can't be good for your mental health. I wonder how much real life support/friends they actually have

I was thinking exactly this in bed last night after posting on this thread.

Do they have real life 'normal' friends who are nothing to do with the insta community? Of have they fully disappeared down the rabbit hole?

I'd imagine it's all a bit more preplanned tbh. So they'll know in advance which brands and promos they've got coming up that week, and will strategise posts accordingly. Even the stories are often pre planned.

On a mental health note, it also seems that despite huge numbers of gushing adoring followers, they each get very upset by individual critism or negative comments. I know that if someone is being critical it isn't pleasant, however surely if several thousand people kiss your ass you wouldn't get that upset about a couple of people on a website saying you were a bit of a wanker or saying that you were a blagger?

I was watching some instastories while waiting for coffee to brew this morning and my DH walked in and started pottering quietly. After a while he piped up: "Who is this talking into their phone? Who cares if they had a shit day and ate a bowl of pasta and watched Netflix?! Who are they talking to? It's mind numbing!" He's right, obviously. It's so self-absorbed and dull! I have used Instagram since it launched and it used to just be a nice place to edit and post pictures so I won't be deleting it but I really think I'll go through and unfollow anyone I don't know or genuinely get useful info or positive things from.

It costs a grand???!

If you have a grand spare you're going private anyway, FFS.

I saw it on my feed but took one look at the roomful of middle class white women in Scamp and Dude and just snorted and swiped on.

Sorry, that should have said #gifted Scamp and Dude because sure as fuck none of them paid a penny towards any of it.

Speaking of mental health, note just how many instamums and vloggers claim to have battles with anxiety and panic attacks - cue thousands more followers and likes from real people suffering real symptoms. It's just yet another way to tap into a new audience and write another 100 pointless blogs on the subject. They're all sahm with supportive well off husbands and sharing their beautiful faces and lives on instagram yet claim to be in a constant state of panic. It's utter bullshit. You wouldn't be snapping pretty pics of yourself done up to the nines with a pretty bunch of peonies in your hand if you really had anxiety.

In fairness, I'm a SAHM with a reasonably successful DH. And I suffer from anxiety and depression. I had to psych myself up to go to Tesco today.

I find it hugely distasteful that the blogger from Brighton is suddenly an expert on mental health.Pushing her best friend who is a life coach and running seminars.
If she was such an expert she would of realised that her ex friend was mentally ill which is why she lied about having a terminal illness.I'm in no way condoning what she did but surely such an expert on mental health would of offered support once the initial shock of the situation subsided.
Instead she seems to of used it to get more followers.

I can never see life coaches without thinking they're just massive charlatans.

It must be exhausting talking into a phone your every move. I can't think of anything worse.

Who's the Brighton blogger? I only know of one...