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AIBU?

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Original poster

Insta mums

999 replies

Harrielady · 27/09/2017 19:23

What the actual fuck?! I have just joined mumsnet and can say I will be leaving it after the negativity I've experienced. I joined expecting women helping women.
Women encouraging other women. Whether that's with their children, their marriage or their careers?! 'Insta mums' are mums who have decided a career in instagramming! And why the fuck not?! Before you ask no I am not an insta mum. Not that I wouldn't want to be - I just can't be bothered to tidy. But they do! They make their homes beautiful and enjoy decorating and showing their efforts off. Other women are inspired and they can bring many other women joy and happiness. Who are you bringing joy and happiness too? Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive! You bitch about these women spending their days cleaning and shopping and not 'caring for thier kids' but how are you fucking idiots any better?!? Your too busy slagging off other hard working women to get your kicks. It's sad. Pathetic and downright bullying.
Something's that have been posted have hurt 'insta mums' and have caused upset - what have they actually done to you?? You are no better than the disgusting internet trolls who target celebrities or others who are slightly better looking or better off than yourselves. Get a grip.

OP posts:
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7
Betsybun · 06/03/2018 21:38

For me I use instagram to get through my lonely days as a sahm. It helps me pass some time when the baby is sleeping and is some kind of connection with adults. This is why I follow a lot of 'instamums' and why I haven't unfollowed.

It's not even the constant ads that bother me, it's the feeling of inadequacy. They all have lovely homes, constant holidays, new clothes all the time. I can't afford half of what they advertise. There's such a lack of diversity, and that's mainly because brands want to go with these middle class, white mothers to promote their brands. They don't want a working class mum in a tiny flat because what's desirable about that? So it can hurt a little when you see they're constant free stuff that they could probably afford anyway.

I remember over Christmas it being pushed loads about buying from small brands, I'd love to, but you know sometimes I don't even have the money to go to primark! I think this is what frustrates me the most, their fake relation to most of the people following them.

I don't even post photos of my children on my private social media because I think that's unfair to them. I really do wonder how these children will feel when they grow up and have had their lives plastered for all to see.

Oh and I don't hate any of these insta mums, hates a big word. It's just frustrating.

breadisnice · 06/03/2018 21:41

I don't even post photos of my children on my private social media because I think that's unfair to them. I really do wonder how these children will feel when they grow up and have had their lives plastered for all to see

I think this is the worst bit for me, mod and fod's twins bring fawned over by all these strangers, it's creepy.

Jjpeston · 06/03/2018 21:42

@Mrspaddywack I think anyone trying to make a business is admirable. I’m a mum myself who works all hours at my business. I do object to the grabby nature of some Instamums who don’t seem to have integrity. And I would call out the ones such as MOD and FOD who don’t seem to need to do this - they already have jobs they say they love and wouldn’t leave. If seems grabby, cliquey and ill-judged.

I have every respect for Anna Whitehouse @badmotherpukka, I think she comes from a genuine place, is campaigning for great stuff and seems a highly intelligent, sensitive woman. I also think she chooses her campaigns carefully.

Sidalee7 · 06/03/2018 21:45

I don't hate them, nor am I jealous of them, they just make me cringe and their devoted you ok Hun followers make me cringe even more!

Yes, total middle class privilege and FOD is such a know it all with a v high opinion of himself.

I think one of the most cringe moments was the women's march and MP had a Flex Appeal sign. I don't know why I took offence at it, but was just another reason to be all about HER.

WipsGlitter · 06/03/2018 21:46

Apart from one with next / hello presumably @Jjpeston Grin

I'm assuming she is way more professional when giving a talk or meeting an employer. The whole gaspy strange speech pattern thing is very strange and comes over as ditsy (which I assume is the intention).

Jjpeston · 06/03/2018 21:48

@betsybun I am sorry you feel this way and suspect many many more do too. I know it’s fun to sort of open the ‘glossy magazine’ that is Instagram, I’m pretty attached to it too. But I think the moment it makes you feel really inadequate is the time you should say ‘right I’m going out to the real world with my kids’ to the park, the playgroup with real mums and real kids who I can relate to. Instagram is no substitute for the loveliness of real life with your kids (who are just as cute - all this ‘aren’t MODs twins adorable!’ - yes they’re nice but mine are the best!)

breadisnice · 06/03/2018 21:49

I'm assuming she is way more professional when giving a talk or meeting an employer. The whole gaspy strange speech pattern thing is very strange and comes over as ditsy (which I assume is the intention).

There something very knowing about her whole schtick Tbh, I don't buy it at all.

HangtheblessedDJ · 06/03/2018 21:49

Great points @betsybun
I don't post any pics of my dc online either and am genuinely baffled as to how anyone would put their to their own dc on instagram when they are often poking fun at them or embarrassing them.

Roisinduggan · 06/03/2018 21:51

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breadisnice · 06/03/2018 21:52

Lol

Jjpeston · 06/03/2018 21:53

@Wipsglitter - i dont even think she was really to blame in accepting the Next campaign. She saw it as a chance to promote her Flex campaign (which is not about her) - and wasn’t even paid for by Next, apparently. I do think she does things with integrity. And she writes well and her stories make me laugh. Which is what I think a good influencer should be - a person with integrity and personality.

Sidalee7 · 06/03/2018 21:54

@roisinduggan u ok Hun? 😂😂😂😂

Sidalee7 · 06/03/2018 21:55

@breadisnice TOTALLY agree

Roisinduggan · 06/03/2018 21:57

Just wondering what the fuck happened to girl power and sisterhood. Thought we was all meant to stick together not knock each other down for trying to earn a bit of dolla?

HolyMountain · 06/03/2018 21:58

roisin are you an insta mum follower and here to defend them.

Calling people bullies and jealous is way off the mark or are you just a devoted slave to Insta?

Jjpeston · 06/03/2018 21:58

@breadisnice - I think she just tries to be funny in her posts which I don’t mind. I’ve seen her live posts at companies where she talks about Flexible working and I was really impressed with how she comes across. I don’t think you can slam her for raising awareness of flexible working, which can be the difference between a job and no job for a mother - shocking in 2018.

HolyMountain · 06/03/2018 21:59

Girl power and the sisterhood?

How old are youGrin?

HolyMountain · 06/03/2018 22:00

Thought we was all meant to stick together

Says who?

Jjpeston · 06/03/2018 22:01

@roisinduggan You have missed the point. I think it’s a more nuanced debate than you realise. Noone would slam a Mum or Dad for making money alone. Even the ‘bitches’ and ‘vipers’ among us Hmm

Roisinduggan · 06/03/2018 22:03

Holymountain we must not be reading the same post as all I have read is people slagging off people trying to earn money to feed their kids. How dare there!!
And god forbid anyone get anything for free! I tell you what I would jump at the chance for a simple photo as would most people!

Sidalee7 · 06/03/2018 22:03

@roisin well if you are all for women sticking together, why have you come in swearing and being abusive to ummmmm...women??!?

This is exactly the hypocrisy that does my head in about the instamum! "Women supporting women" yeah right 🙄

Tinyprancer · 06/03/2018 22:06

I’ve also noticed that I’d estimate (an unscientific) 90% of the comments/ followers of paid Instamums are just other Instamums. So who are the brands even advertising to!

HolyMountain · 06/03/2018 22:07

all I have read is people slagging off people trying to earn money to feed their kids

I think the majority of the successful instamums were financially solvent and comfortable before they discovered the lucrative world of ‘gramming. They weren’t scrimping to feed the children.

Iminthecclubnow · 06/03/2018 22:10

I am kind of strangely fascinated by MOD account - a few weeks ago she posted her new dining table and chairs in the kitchen. It was ok, nothing particularly luxurious looking, but nice and trendy, like something you might get IKEA. I clicked on the link and figured out that the whole thing would have come to TWO GRAND! And then two Stoke tripp trapps as well.

I thought the whole Instamum thing came from people posting the 'reality' of being a mum. That's why I always preferred The Unmumsy Mum and Hurrah for Gin. But even those ones have become a bit samey. I mean saying 'my child is an arsehole' is kind of funny the first time, but not the 100th time.

roisin · 06/03/2018 22:17

Just to be clear, I am not Roisinduggan, despite having been tagged in this thread.