Insta mums

[Harrielady]

What the actual fuck?! I have just joined mumsnet and can say I will be leaving it after the negativity I've experienced. I joined expecting women helping women.
Women encouraging other women. Whether that's with their children, their marriage or their careers?! 'Insta mums' are mums who have decided a career in instagramming! And why the fuck not?! Before you ask no I am not an insta mum. Not that I wouldn't want to be - I just can't be bothered to tidy. But they do! They make their homes beautiful and enjoy decorating and showing their efforts off. Other women are inspired and they can bring many other women joy and happiness. Who are you bringing joy and happiness too? Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive! You bitch about these women spending their days cleaning and shopping and not 'caring for thier kids' but how are you fucking idiots any better?!? Your too busy slagging off other hard working women to get your kicks. It's sad. Pathetic and downright bullying.
Something's that have been posted have hurt 'insta mums' and have caused upset - what have they actually done to you?? You are no better than the disgusting internet trolls who target celebrities or others who are slightly better looking or better off than yourselves. Get a grip.

And before anyone starts prattling on about bullying or women being nasty to women, I will not agree or support any decision by anyone (male or female) that puts children at unnecessary risk

Child safety yes that’s a serious matter and I’m very happy to talk about that. For eg we never ever show where our children go to school or nursery as I said earlier I show my older two less and less on here now

Seriously? This is like banging your head against a brick wall

It would be very simple for anyone who uses the internet to work out where you live and what your home address is. They already know what your kids are called and what they look like.

I honestly can't believe anybody can be this naive in this day and age.

Risk is evaluated in different ways. I believe that the potential risk or level of harm that having an Instagram account puts on my children is low. I don’t show the older girls bedroom, I never show them naked, you don’t know where hey go to school, or their friends. I’m happy with what I put online and share of my family and so is Simon

I think I'm done here. It's just not getting through.

I can't believe a reasonably intelligent pair of adults think that they've 'risk assessed' splashing their kids, their names, their photos and where they live all over the internet.

Unbelievable.

Just searched these parents of daughters people.

To give a background to this, im sat on the toilet deliberating a poo or a shower, just to get rid of the smell of tcp that lingers in the bathrooms of parents with multiple piercings, and I'm more depressed for these insta people than I am for myself.

There's a post about high waisted jeans and SHES NOT EVEN WEARING HIGH WAISTED JEANS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WORLD.

In this day and age so much information is shared online and hundreds of thousands of parents share just as much (some alot more) on their public profiles too - including vloggers, bloggers, celebs, reality people, photographers.. but also just every day parents.

That's a decision each family/parent has the right to make and should be left to them to decide.

@courtney
You said you were out of this convo yesterday but you keep coming back for more criticisms. I see you’re doing it now on that other feed I’ve said my lot too I’m not going to say anymore. Dm on Instagram if you want to engage. I’ve just realised my account name is from 10 years ago when I first became a mum. I used Mumsnet for advice but found it to be a very sad and conflicting place. I was only 22 and a new mum so swiftly left. Now I feel wiser and more experienced as a mum but the mood here is the same.

@anya just step away from this thread.

You're an adult and don't need to justify yourself to others. If you're happy with your choices then people like @Courtney can just jog on.

Ooh, now you're throwing shade. 👜

Why don't you say what you really think? Or are you going to have a whinge to your followers instead so you they can all bitch about the mean girls on MN instead?

I don't think I'll bother dm-ing you thanks. If you can't address real safety concerns in public, I doubt you'll do it in private.

Ah @Courtney has to get the last word in. Now I get it 😂

I agree - what is all this with the DM-ing and meeting face to face?

There is absolutely no need for that. I would say exactly the same in person. It smacks of trying to shut the conversation down. Most responsible parents do not have fully open facebook accounts - this is that x

Have you actually properly and fully risk assessed this or taken any professional advice about it?

This thread is really embarrassing

Fwiw I met @anyalovesrose in actual 3D real life once by chance in my local Sainsbury's. I'd just read her book and didn't realise that she lived in the same area as me until I saw her. I was 25, nervous and 8 weeks pregnant with my now 3 month old DS. I stopped her to say how much I liked her book and she stood and spoke to me and was totally lovely. If she really just thought of her IG followers as "Sheeples" she'd have just told me to bog off and leave her to it.

So the OP has conveniently left and this has descended into a very focused attack on the identified instamum?

FFS, everyone is entitled to an opinion but this is poisonous.

People make money off Instagram - yes
A significant portion of that includes posts that include cute kids/dogs/makeup taken lying atop a Persian cat to fake a furry rug backdrop - yes
A huge portion of those posts don't properly reflect what the reality of the situation - yes

If you don't like it, don't follow it. If it seems too risky, don't do it. Leave others to their own choices and interests.

I do think this is a valid discussion, however it always seems to turn nasty; there were some really personal comments especially on the last thread which is a real shame.

I don’t mind ads, as long as I’m told. I think that was something good that came out of the last thread, was that most of the instamums now use #ad religiously. That in turn led me to unfollow one particular Instamum once I realised how many ads she actually placed after she used the hashtag though! Every other post was for a coffee chain, and a series of baby wipes she didn’t actually use. I don’t mind advertising, but if you’re in instamum; I’d like it to be something you actually use and really like. I have occasionally bought products that have been placed on instagram feeds as adverts, so I want it to be genuine.

When you follow an Instamum you feel like you’re being invited into their lives in some ways, and you actually build up a sort of affection and respect for your favourite ones. Those probably aren’t the right words; but you get what I mean. I think that was why I was so disappointed with the Instamum I mentioned earlier; I followed her from when I first joined IG year ago pretty much, and enjoyed her family vlogs. When she actually started using the #ad, and used it for products she didn’t use (she specifically said she used another brand and have a reason why in a vlog), it felt wrong and it took away my enjoyment of her page. I’m glad she did start using it though, so that I could pick instamums using less advertising (I get it’s a moneymaker, but every other photo? Nope.), and who are using it honestly for products they use.

But good luck to them, I say. They’re making more money then I ever will for just posting pictures of their lives!

I'm usually a lurker but I do think that this thread is quite uncomfortable to read. I read the previous 'instamums' threads and did completely agree with a lot of the points made. However, I do think that MOD is being unfairly targeted when she has been the only 'instamum' that has joined these threads and truly acknowledged the points that have been made. I'm just confused as to why mother pukka commented and was treated with so much respect but MOD is being criticised for being what I would consider just as gracious? Also reading this post it sounds arse licky but i'm genuinely just confused at the disparity between mother pukka and MOD. Oh and also i think that was it influencing my view an a lot is that multiple people commented on previous threads saying that they knew MOD as a midwife and she was fab. So I'm inclined to go with that over online critique.