Old folks dying of,,,,,,old age?

[MrsDeltaB]

Whilst I appreciate there is a general outpouring of someone or the actor of a character that you may have grown up with.

Liz Dawn. Died at 77. Yes. Sad. To her family. But why the outpouring of grief to a person of elder generation who may or may not have simply died of old age?

I can't help but get cross when folks are 'gutted' 'devastated' about the death of an old person dying of, being old! "97 year old died of old age'

And yet it is actually, definitively, OLD, no matter how you feel about it.

I agree. At 77, however young you feel, dress or attempt to slow down the ageing process, you are old. Even if you go on to live to 90 (9 years greater than the average life expectancy) at 77 you are 5/6ths of the way through your life.

77 is not old. In 2015 there were 14,570 centenarians living in the UK and 850 of those were aged 105 or more

77 is not old, and certainly not 'old' (IYSWIM)

People, should never be written off because of their age, which is all too often what saying 'oh but they're old' amounts to, and it is especially irksome when a blanket, arbitrary age is selected.

After all, when NCIS fans look at Ducky, do they see an 'old' man? Or someone cast appropriately as the senior pathologist?

But 77 is old? A 77 year old is indeed younger than a centenarian but they are not a young person, just younger relatively speaking.

I totally agree people should never be written off because of their age but denying they're old isn't the answer.

How can 77 not be old when the average life expectancy in the uk is about 81?

It's not a personality trait.

I agree with draylon

theres always someone with a FIL who still golfs every week and is 80, but most older people are indoors and we dont see how age has affected them

I don't understand when people grieve extensively for someone who is much older

because she was my mum

By that reckoning though, we'd be back to describing 35yos as elderly mothers, because they are closer to the end of their childbearing years than the start.

But we abandoned that language because of the offence it caused and because it is invariably unnecessary.

Better to talk about being retired, living with chronic illness/disability/ requiring home support etc. All of which happen at different times for different people.

Rather than just lumping everyone of a certain age together and making assumptions about their attitudes, health or needs.

77 isn't particularly old, given the current demographics. Perhaps, given the differences in diet and obesity levels, it will once again be so - say for those currently under 40 (wild, unevidenced guess at age it'll kick in, but the prospect of a generation with lower longevity that the current one is mainstream thought)

Dr here. You can legitimately put 'Frailty of Old Age' on a death certificate; usually on someone over the age of 85. Have done it a couple of times.

Not that it makes it any easier. My own grandmother died at 87; she was very fit, independent and died v suddenly. We were still devastated by it.

If you love someone why wouldn't you be devastated? You can't rationalise it can you, well I can't. The idea of never seeing them again is devastating to me.

My gran died at 98. I was extremely upset. But if I am honest, although I really missed her, losing another relative who was only 52 when she died suddenly, was more traumatic.

I'm 22 and wouldn't say 70 is old. My dad is 63 so 7 years an d he'll be 70. He works 60 hours a week as a gas engineer and certainly does not look old.

I think it's OK to be sad over a celebrity death even if theyre elderly.

Are we seriously saying we shouldn't use the word 'old' because it might cause offence?

It's just a normal life stage - one that I'll be reaching myself before I know it so I would like to be able to talk about it, if I may. Using another word won't stop it happening, any more than having umpty million words for 'dead' will stop me from dying.

And it wouldn't challenge the prejudice - that would just transfer to the new word.

DueNov Most people work full time at 63. 79 is the average life expectancy for men. So objectively, 70 is old. Yes there are plenty of fit 70 year olds, but many people go from fit to ill and frail, pretty quickly.

Neem, what has it got to do with you if people 'grieve extensively'? There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Or are we only allowed to describe someone as elderly when they get to 100? Ignoring the fact that most people die before then.

I think that the older someone is the more devastating it is when they die (unless they are very ill, in pain etc.) Because they've been around for longer and you will know them/they know you so well. As you approach old age, you think old age starts later. I will be 60 in a couple of years, I can't believe it, I have friends in their 70s, I certainly do not think they are old.

No it is not their age, but the relationship you have with them that matters. If you have been happily married to someone for 80 years, yes you will be devastated when they die. If your month old baby dies, you will be devastated.

I only mentioned no right or wrong way to grieve because some people on here seem to think their way is the only way. Some people handle things differently to others. I've had a week off work since DM died and I'm sure some people would think that's too much as I should have been expecting it.

I also think the people around you make a difference when someone dies. When DF died I worked for a shit company with a bitch for a manager who asked me if I was going into work the next day as she was short staffed. She also told me I was bad for morale as I was upset. I was signed off for a month. This time my company have been great, I've had cards, text messages of support and it means a lot.

I don't think an elderly person dying is any less sad. I do think it more tragic/traumatic when a relatively young person or a child dies though.