... To just scream FUCK IT ALL and shove them in the local primary.

[Mrsfullhouse]

Good god I'm exhausted. I have three beautiful DC's. DS1 in Reception, DS2 in nursery and DD in year 6. All at a lovely prep school. So far so good....

However, by the ripe old age of 10, my DD has managed to become a rather excellent singer a consummate LAMDA exam taker and very talented hockey player, so all of my time is spent running her around to fixtures/ training/ concerts/ practices/ performances/ exams... you get the picture. DH is at rugby on Saturdays, so it is invariably me that does all the running around because he's either working or too tired on a Sunday. I just seem to spend my life in the car. This excludes all of the actual travel to and from the lovely prep (bloody miles away). Extra travel for all of the lovely things that they do that nice mummies actually turn up to an clap politely as they watch little Horatio murder a violin in cold blood. Plus all the lovely coffee dates- oh and you know, the actual job that I do... that I barely have time for.

The thing is, her lovely prep has encouraged DD to pursue these avenues having 'discovered' her talents- along with a million other things that if she had gone to the local primary, I'm pretty sure I would have been too smugly lazy to even think about. That is no reflection on state school mummies- I know some super-tiger ones.... but I would probably been awful and not even let her join recorder club because- well, who the fuck wants to listen to the fucking recorder.

So this is my life now, and I barely have time to think, let alone spend time polishing my turd enough to look acceptable in public.

I love the lovely prep.... but I think about how ridiculous it is now, and in a few years time I will have three actively participating in all of this shit. No doubt they will stumble upon some glorious talent that DS1 has that will involve me traversing the country, burning £50 notes and chucking them out of the car window as I go.

So, would it be unreasonable to just shout FUCK IT ALL, pull them out, stick them in the lovely, but not as lovely as lovely prep, primary and spend my evenings and weekends drinking very very cold wine and talking to my chickens?

Anybody else just feel like, as much as they love their DC's and their wonderful talents, they wish that they'd just never fucking encouraged them in the first place?

Oh no, i knew the thread hadnt gone well but ive just seen how badly it went

Really don't beat yourself up about this

It sounds like you are working much too hard

Get a nanny? Your chickens need you.

why not a state school then? you will still do running around with the kids burning money.

ok then .....
Me 3 children are in the local state primary, and do music lessons, coding club, beavers, cubs, horse riding, gymnastics and swimming and in the past have done French club, minecraft club, tae kwondo, football, chess club,musical theatre, ballet and tap! And that's not unusual amongst thier friends.
And if it's not activities it's play dates and birthday parties and concerts and plays etc
you need to get your DH to step up and take some of the responsibility. My DH likes to go climbing and if we have nothing on will go out all day on a weekend but if we have a busy weekend he will not and will take the kids where they need to go.

You do know it is ok not to enter into the competition with even the most competitive parents, don't you?

You sound like you just need to take a deep breath, ask DD what she REALLY likes doing and could not stand to give up and get her to stick with that one, or maybe two things! Tell her it is not good to be a jack of all trades and a master of none!

Also wanted to point out my DD was (until ( pulled her out last week to homeschool) at a state school and does loads after school, is only actually home all evening on a Wednesday!

Don't feel guilty about not crying when someone dies after a long period of dementia. It's the nature of the disease, unfortunately. You lose the person little by little, bit by drawn-out-painful bit, but yet you can't grieve at the time as they are still there living. By the end I was almost relieved that her (my granny's) poor old body didn't have to keep living in distress when she was long gone. It was only later - months and months later - that I was able to grieve for 'her' as you have the distance to grieve for who they used to be, not who they were when they died. I am not explaining this well, but I do understand.

It's your life, love. None of us are taking scores (or if we are then that's our stuff). If it's too much then reign it in, if it's still too much then switch schools, but don't be under any illusion, you will probably still end up in a sea of after school activities, especially if you remain desperately keen to keep up with the Joneses.
So sorry to hear about your Gran but glad you can have a good cry.
Good luck to you!

That simplicity parenting web page is very cringey in terms of gender stereotypes . Ridiculous.

Also love how he is selling simplicity parenting...... Here simplify your family life for the cost of £££££. Not believing it.

do you want a medal or something? shock horror even state school parents do all this.

What the actual fuck OP? Pull your head out. I went to a prep school then a private girls' boarding school and my parents weren't over-competitive weirdos.

Stop being so smug. You're absolutely loving this.

Oh. And you're not funny.

Oh one more thing

"Go to our store to buy a copy of Beyond Winning: Smart Parenting in a Toxic Sports Environment and any of our other recommended parenting books."

from that simplicity website. Seriously, what a load of pretentious commercial self important bolleaux.

Sorry about your Gran.

I find your reference to state schools offensive especially on behalf of the dedicated teachers who teach in them - and I am not even a teacher! Your children have never even been to a state school and yet you are judging them as substandard to your prep school. We can afford private but we have a lovely ofsted rated excellent state school in our village with hard working committed teachers who do encourage children's talents and we would prefer our children to mix with a whole range of different personalities from different backgrounds...just like in the real world. And by the way - my daughter also does her LAMDA exams and my son plays academy plus county football and this is despite them attending a lowly state school. You've chosen to accept your daughter's schools suggestions of these extra activities - so if you don't want to spend the time or money on them just make a different choice.

Well I get how you feel with 4 children (incl 5 year old twins who are just starting to get busy) but have no clue what it has to with prep v state.

Do you think 93% of the population are coming home to play GTA and eat Mcdonalds every night?

My 10 year old DD at a state primary does loads of activities - cornet, drums and two choirs at school; swimming, ballet, modern dance, fencing , guides and church groups out of school. YABU that state school parents will have an easier life. Fortunately my DS only has cubs and violin at the moment and isn't keen to do more.

Your H works 6 days a week and plays rugby the other day? Top parenting.

State or fee paying is irrelevant. I know lots of fee paying parents whose children have sensible local activities after school. I also know lots of state school children whose parents take them to various far away music/academic/sporting events because they represent the county and an interest in competing.

Oh yes people just shove their kids into state school and arent interested achievement.

oP did you know 96 per cent of kids go to state schools in the UK? You live in a bubble and please stop being such a massive snob.

Grief is an absolute bastard OP and it comes out in weird and painful ways. I'm sorry you're so over-whelmed and so sad.

Complete and utter respect to you for finding the grace to take a kicking on here: we've probably most of us had our arses handed to us at some point and it isn't fun.

I hope you find a way through what you're feeling and come out the other side with a life which makes you happier.

Idontlooklikeemmawatson

Don't judge the concept on the stupid website and agreed the website is truly terrible, the book however is very well written and has some excellent points and references and ideas.
Please read the book before commenting. It would help op to see that most of what we do is a waste of time and energy, and most kids don't want to be shuttled from one end of the county to the other. Most kids just want to relax, play and have down time.

Tell your DH to get off his lazy arse on a Sunday and do some running around

Oh gosh OP I hate to be that person but... my DD has a gorgeous singing voice IMVHO and I would love her to do a musical activity and make the most of her potential. Unfortunately she has ASD and is too anxious to barely leave the house most days. So I'm going to be trite and ask you to count your blessings

Well I don't know.
My daughter was a fantastic badminton player and flute player. I spent a lot of my life in her primary school years ferrying her around to various matches, some county standard, and also to orchestra and other such events. This continued in senior school. . She had to drop badminton to give her time to all the musical things she took part in.

This was at STATE schools .

Mothers having 'involved ' children is not only the domain of private education!

I'm glad the replies are settling. If life would be simpler with the younger two at a closer, decent state school then go for it.

People can't do everything thing all of the time. I enjoyed dancing (absolutely no talent ) but had to concede that I couldn't do well in GCSEs and continue other activities and they had more value so the dancing had to go.

Grief can make us re-evaluate what is imp
important to us, and you can rearrange aspects of family life to reduce the stress but keep the quality.