... To just scream FUCK IT ALL and shove them in the local primary.

[Mrsfullhouse]

Good god I'm exhausted. I have three beautiful DC's. DS1 in Reception, DS2 in nursery and DD in year 6. All at a lovely prep school. So far so good....

However, by the ripe old age of 10, my DD has managed to become a rather excellent singer a consummate LAMDA exam taker and very talented hockey player, so all of my time is spent running her around to fixtures/ training/ concerts/ practices/ performances/ exams... you get the picture. DH is at rugby on Saturdays, so it is invariably me that does all the running around because he's either working or too tired on a Sunday. I just seem to spend my life in the car. This excludes all of the actual travel to and from the lovely prep (bloody miles away). Extra travel for all of the lovely things that they do that nice mummies actually turn up to an clap politely as they watch little Horatio murder a violin in cold blood. Plus all the lovely coffee dates- oh and you know, the actual job that I do... that I barely have time for.

The thing is, her lovely prep has encouraged DD to pursue these avenues having 'discovered' her talents- along with a million other things that if she had gone to the local primary, I'm pretty sure I would have been too smugly lazy to even think about. That is no reflection on state school mummies- I know some super-tiger ones.... but I would probably been awful and not even let her join recorder club because- well, who the fuck wants to listen to the fucking recorder.

So this is my life now, and I barely have time to think, let alone spend time polishing my turd enough to look acceptable in public.

I love the lovely prep.... but I think about how ridiculous it is now, and in a few years time I will have three actively participating in all of this shit. No doubt they will stumble upon some glorious talent that DS1 has that will involve me traversing the country, burning £50 notes and chucking them out of the car window as I go.

So, would it be unreasonable to just shout FUCK IT ALL, pull them out, stick them in the lovely, but not as lovely as lovely prep, primary and spend my evenings and weekends drinking very very cold wine and talking to my chickens?

Anybody else just feel like, as much as they love their DC's and their wonderful talents, they wish that they'd just never fucking encouraged them in the first place?

The OP is a damn sight funnier and more likeable than the angry "OH MY KID IS SLUMMING IT AT STATE SCHOOL IS HE, YOU SMUG PRICK?!" rentagobs on here.

And I'm sorry about your grandma.

If the OP isn't a DM plant to give the useless arseholes something to write about tomorrow, I'll eat my private school hat (black bowler. Very snazzy. You don't get one of those at the local primary)

I want chickens to talk to!! Seriously op you sound gloriously off your rocker (in a good way) and I think you should boot DH up the bum and tell him to get off his lazy rugby-playing arse and pitch in. Then go and pour a large one and say hi to the chickens from me!!!!

For what it's worth OP I understand exactly where you're coming from - except mine went to local state school. I have 7 (between me and DH - second marriages) but I'll tell you only about the younger two.

When they were in primary school it was discovered ds was a very good rugby player and school gave him every opportunity to succeed at his chosen sport. This then led to me having to take time off school, occasionally, to watch him play against other school teams. He then joined a local rugby club who trained and played on weekends - that's weekends taken up with transporting him back and fore training and games.

DD asked to join a drama group which rehearsed on a Tuesday evening. This did not coincide with ds rugby events so we let her join. Group leader discovered DD has a great singing voice and suggested vocal coaching to address timing and fiction issues. DD was eager so she attended vocal coaching. At around the same time DS asked to join a Welsh Boys Choir.

Between DH and myself we managed the extra curricular trading activities without disruption to normal family life.

Anyway with am drama classes there are a never ending amount of shows to attend. At this point my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Sosial Services gave their usual speel about how much better it would be for mum to stay in her own home with support from family, rather than a nursing home. Following many battles with SS I had no alternative than to give up work to care for my mum. I Spent the daytime caring for her and the evenings ferrying my children around the place, whilst trying to juggle all the other things mums have to do.

There comes a point where you wonder where you are in all of this. You have no time for yourself. No support from anywhere and the more you look into what you can do to ease the load the more you can see no way out. I was absolutely exhausted and you sound exhausted too.

What I did (had to do, for my own sanity), was watched a Christmas show my DD had a main role in, attended a rugby presentation the following evening with ds then sat them down. I outlined everything I was doing for them (they didn't realise exactly how much I was doing) and asked them to pick the one thing that was most important to them and dump the rest until they could make their own arrangements to get back and forth.

They chose their preferred activities and tbh can became so much easier. DS is now able to drive himself to the activities he dropped and DD found a drama group which is closer to home.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you are funding everything overwhelming at the moment. You are grieving for somebody who died a long time ago. Give yourself some space. Your children won't lose out by ditching some of their after school activities. They will have lots of time to Persue them later on, if they are that important to them. Chances are they won't be 💐

*sorry about typos

Come over to the Dark Side OP. We have chickens here too. And musical instruments on loan for a year in Year 5. That's quite enough.

There are seven stages of bereavement and anger is definitely one of them. Give yourself some time op.

I would make sure the only rugby DH gets to play is in his dreams. You are letting him play and then he has time to feel tired. What a nice little wifey you are?
Put your foot down, prioritise, divide and stick to it no matter what.

Valentine - he coaches SEN kids.

Are your diamond shoes too tight as well?! sorry, couldn't resist a friend's line! Constructively I'd say focus on one talent and pour energy into that. If she's seriously talented, as in could do it as a career turn you need to have a long chat with dad and tell her what's involved. It's a lot of work! And I'm afraid that goes for you too. Speak to any professional musician and there's been a taxi parent in the background. It's a big sacrifice.

Your mistake was mentioning private school. You could've made the same rant about extracurricular activities without that tidbit. But well done on acknowledging that made you sound like a prick.

Cancel some activities and chill the fuck out. It's the only thing that will help.

Aw OP, you sound exhausted and completely over wrought. Also love cold wine and chickens too (I've 50!) and horses and wish I could spend more time with them all too. I'm an older man and I'm now in my 50s and often feel that life and time is like trying to hold onto sand. You sound a lovely lady and intelligent too. Try and have a think about how you can pull back some time for yourself. It sounds like, considering you have two very young children still as well as your older one, that you have too much to reasonably do and you are continually saving too close to the wind. I hope you can find a way of perhaps gently letting go of some of your commitments so that you can enjoy what actually sounds like a lovely life. Go on pour yourself a very big glass of wine xx

Poor you (if this is real). Hire a nanny who can drive,

Your post is really condescending to those who go to state schools. Believe it or not state schools provide great opportunities too.

** should say "older mum" not "man".

I'm sure someone has said this already but surely one of the main benefits of going private is that they incorporate all this extra curricular stuff into their schedules??

I also read somewhere that it's not very healthy for kids to do too much extra curricular stuff and that downtime, being bored and having freedom to explore are really important.

You need some time out OP. Why not give the activities a miss for a week or two so you have time to grieve and consider how to make life a bit less stressful.

I love you. Don't put them in the local state school put them in the local coal mine. Get em earning. And sit back to enjoy your cold cold wine bought with the proceeds of their hard hard work. LOL

Joking. Obvs. Just do what you want and enjoy it

OP- I was called by DD's LAMDA teacher today to ask if we could take her to central London to audition for Les Misersables.

She's eight, and enjoys lots of activities, I have a disabled son, we both have jobs, my FIL has a neurodegenerative disorder. Life is busier than ever.. I thought of this thread and said 'thanks but no thanks'.

Her drama teacher said ' but it's a wonderful opportunity'. I thought, 'so is Saturday night with Strictly and a takeaway.'

So thank you for getting lots of us thinking. You sound very sweet, and I'd be you friend at the lovely prep school. The mum's at my daughters' think I'm most odd.

You do realise that kids who go to primary schools can also succeed in life? If you don't like your life, change it

Although your kids might have to mix with poor people

* The OP is a damn sight funnier and more likeable than the angry "OH MY KID IS SLUMMING IT AT STATE SCHOOL IS HE, YOU SMUG PRICK?!" rentagobs on here*

This!

What kind of weirdo reads “my child goes to prep school” and thinks “THIS POST IS ABOUT ME AND WHAT A CRAP PARENT I MUST BE, POOR ME”.

The OP has had me in stitches and the professionally offended jealous posters need to get over themselves and take their faux outrage about people with more money to a place hat gives a shit