... To just scream FUCK IT ALL and shove them in the local primary.

[Mrsfullhouse]

Good god I'm exhausted. I have three beautiful DC's. DS1 in Reception, DS2 in nursery and DD in year 6. All at a lovely prep school. So far so good....

However, by the ripe old age of 10, my DD has managed to become a rather excellent singer a consummate LAMDA exam taker and very talented hockey player, so all of my time is spent running her around to fixtures/ training/ concerts/ practices/ performances/ exams... you get the picture. DH is at rugby on Saturdays, so it is invariably me that does all the running around because he's either working or too tired on a Sunday. I just seem to spend my life in the car. This excludes all of the actual travel to and from the lovely prep (bloody miles away). Extra travel for all of the lovely things that they do that nice mummies actually turn up to an clap politely as they watch little Horatio murder a violin in cold blood. Plus all the lovely coffee dates- oh and you know, the actual job that I do... that I barely have time for.

The thing is, her lovely prep has encouraged DD to pursue these avenues having 'discovered' her talents- along with a million other things that if she had gone to the local primary, I'm pretty sure I would have been too smugly lazy to even think about. That is no reflection on state school mummies- I know some super-tiger ones.... but I would probably been awful and not even let her join recorder club because- well, who the fuck wants to listen to the fucking recorder.

So this is my life now, and I barely have time to think, let alone spend time polishing my turd enough to look acceptable in public.

I love the lovely prep.... but I think about how ridiculous it is now, and in a few years time I will have three actively participating in all of this shit. No doubt they will stumble upon some glorious talent that DS1 has that will involve me traversing the country, burning £50 notes and chucking them out of the car window as I go.

So, would it be unreasonable to just shout FUCK IT ALL, pull them out, stick them in the lovely, but not as lovely as lovely prep, primary and spend my evenings and weekends drinking very very cold wine and talking to my chickens?

Anybody else just feel like, as much as they love their DC's and their wonderful talents, they wish that they'd just never fucking encouraged them in the first place?

Should just clarify that I don't think our school is horrible! I love it. I am just amazed someone thinks having kids at prep school is harder, as to me it feels like the much easier option.

Shitballs. My computer just crashed. I wrote a massive message about why we volunteer when we're both knackered-DH- nephew heavy Send, started as fundraising, now big part of a lot of families live.
Me, local primary struggling, needs hands on deck with reading, maths etc. I help as much as I can.

And yes, it would have been good enough for DC's if it was up to me, but we have a whole other load of MIL issues that would take beyond hours to even get my head around. I just go along with it.

I should never have written 'shove my dc' s in state'.... I actually bloody love our local primary. I'm just massively fed up.

I know I shouldn't have got sucked into the 'gosh isn't your child marvellous and talented' thing, but I did. Mainly because I'm a twat, but also because it's all so easy to be so. It starts off gently and then just carries you away like an avalanche.

I don't feel I could pull her back as she has commitments and also- she loves it, I just also know it's going to get a lot worse in time.

Grandma had dementia from 53(ish?) she spent a long time being awfully fucking confused and living a half life. Sometimes not even that.
That's only 15 years away for me. I don't want to spend it in the fucking car barely seeing my children (or my chickens).

Stupid post. I'm just not very good at saying how I feel without making (a very shit) joke about it (fucking private education)

I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. I've just realised that it's not bloody worth it any more. DH is brilliant, but we are stretched way to thin.

Defo not a mummy blogger or some such shit. Just someone with an almighty stick up their arse who has been slightly brainwashed by the 'loveliness of the lovely prep' and forgets that most people don't talk like they are on radio 4 constantly.

Oh fuck. I meant this as a lighthearted 'oh bollocks, my life has been taken over' post and now I've made myself super sad and and sat crying because I don't want to end up like my Grandma, trying to remember my life, but knowing it must have been hectic because my car has done 100k+ miles.

Oh fuck fuck fuck..

First time I've cried since she died, so in a way, thanks for loading on the hate, I really needed a good kick up my pretentious arse x

i did actually think it was meant to be funny OP, and just a lighthearted rant. But in AIBU you dont tend to get the lighthearted replies. Sorry to hear about your Grandma, take a deep breath and grab a glass of wine (although not if you have to get in the car to run said children to several extra curricular activities this afternoon, in that case save wine for later!)

Oh mrs, it is ok, fwiw, I took it lightheartedly. You sound lovely and I wish you were at my school gate

Can someone tell me what LAMDA is? My state school child doesn't do that- he only does National Youth Theatre, is only grade 8 In two instruments and is county level in only one sport. If only he'd gone private.............

I have four who have either been through, or are still in, state schools.

They've all done a sport, an instrument and something extra like guides, youth theatre or d of E. In primary lots of stuff was school based, in secondary they quite often got themselves to the activity or we arranged lift shares. Living near good transport links, early driving lessons and networking with other parents all helps reduce the running around.

Your DH needs to remember that charity begins at home.

I find your use of "mummy" more than a little cringy. In fact your whole post is such a cliche, I rather suspect it has been written by some hairy handed trucker from Hull.

What singingmysong said- they finally those ECA at school, so you don't have to schlep around every evening.
The problems then start when they're competing/performing at county and national level...

How would going to a state school make any difference?

I advise get rid of your car and the rest of your problems will resolve themselves

I think it's hard whatever path you choose. And it's really hard when you miss someone. Sounds like you are re evaluating your life.
I'm a mean mum. Mine only do one activity each but mine are older and rugby (ds) is starting to take over our lives. But he is blossoming doing it....

Think you need to find some time for yourself in all this. It's not being selfish, it's about surviving. (Also I console myself with the thought that the really talented do one thing v well).

Ignoring all the snark above, and assuming that the OP is completely genuine...

OP - you need to cut back on the activities. Your DD may have many talents that her school has "luckily" uncovered, but she needs down time just like you do, and if she spends a couple of evenings after school a week watching youtube on the ipad under a duvet, she will still probably grow up to be a happy, accomplished and successful young woman. Given the choice, I'd probably ditch the singing and keep her at hockey - it's more social as she goes through secondary and uni and it's good for her to have a sport.

It's great that your DH does the volunteering, but he is doing it at the price of your sanity. He can't just opt out for the entire weekend, every weekend. When on earth does he see his children? You need to walk out of the house at 9am on a Saturday or Sunday and not come back until bedtime. He's not being fair to you, even if his volunteering is a positive thing in the abstract.

As for shoving them in the local primary - tempting as the thought may be, we have just switched from private to state, and we have MORE activities now, because there's less sport and music built into their week, so we're doing it after school every day instead. But no driving.

us state school mummies are too busy glued to flat screen tellies to be arsed to take Mia and Jack to recorder lessons. Sound too much like hard work innit.

come join us anytime OP.

I do think there is a bit of inverted snobbery in this thread.

The only bit u r unreasonable about is the chickens! I don't like eggs. Cut back on activities. Tell DH step up and get a cat/ kittens 😂 Far better than chickens. Oh and here's some 🍷.

Grief is such a strange and painful force- it hits you in all kinds of ways some probably less well thought than others. You've expressed yourself maybe not in the best way but you sound fucking knackered, never mind sad. Have a look at all both of you are doing, come up with a plan to maybe cut down on some things - both you and your husband. You've got young kids - you can't do everything. I'm sorry about your grandma.

but seriously OP we are only a few weeks into the school year. YOU deserve time and a life too you know. If you are stressed it matters, it is important. make some changes. what would happen if you took up a Saturday sport?

Can you not share drop offs/picks ups with other parents. And fuck off some of those coffee meetings - or do them while your child is in a lesson and you are waiting?

I'd be having a massive rethink about clubs/hobbies etc as well as getting THEIR OTHER PARENT involved in all the taxing around.

Also.
Read all the replies just say 'yep', 'yep', 'yep, I am a collosal penis. Why the fuck am I moaning about this. What a dick you are, you rude knobhead'.

I've only ever posted on the 'help me with my baby name' thread before (MIL was insisting we call DS2 Roderick... One of the few battles I have ever won).

I feel like a bit of a idiot and the irony is now, I have to put this to one side to pick the boys up and take them swimming whilst DH takes DD to hockey.

I just want to sit down, read what a total dickhead I am and do some more crying. I'd been feeling awful about not crying when Grandma died, and very guilty. Weirdly getting hugely smashed down for being a massive C-word has really helped and put a lot of things into perspective.

Hey i feel your pain here. I was moaning to a colleague today that I think I have taken on too much and am spending all my time outside work running around after the kids. Looking back on Facebook I realise I feel like this in September every year - something to do with the contrast post summer holidays.

Not really got anything useful to add but maybe use this time to take a look at your week and cut some stuff back e.g. I am now lift sharing for more stuff and trying to accept more help when it's offered.

DD has a county rugby trial on Sunday. I'm fiercely proud but it will mean needing to go away over night for matches

i think some of the responses on here are pretty harsh ... so what, what type of school your children attend you are obviously feeling overwhelmed and in need of a vent...everyone is entitled to do that from time to time, i hope that voicing the issue has helped!

I stand by everything I've posted on this thread... and am also here with a massive unmumsnetty hug for you, OP. Have a really, really good cry; and maybe when the initial grief starts to subside you might be able to make some life changes for all of you - even small ones could make a massive difference.

I quite like Roderick as a name, btw

It's a bit like a rollercoaster isn't it, OP? It's no easier, and is still all consuming, even when they decide to specialise in one hobby.

I'm glad the harshness of MN handsome benefits.

Sorry you feel shit OP .

*has some