... To just scream FUCK IT ALL and shove them in the local primary.

[Mrsfullhouse]

Good god I'm exhausted. I have three beautiful DC's. DS1 in Reception, DS2 in nursery and DD in year 6. All at a lovely prep school. So far so good....

However, by the ripe old age of 10, my DD has managed to become a rather excellent singer a consummate LAMDA exam taker and very talented hockey player, so all of my time is spent running her around to fixtures/ training/ concerts/ practices/ performances/ exams... you get the picture. DH is at rugby on Saturdays, so it is invariably me that does all the running around because he's either working or too tired on a Sunday. I just seem to spend my life in the car. This excludes all of the actual travel to and from the lovely prep (bloody miles away). Extra travel for all of the lovely things that they do that nice mummies actually turn up to an clap politely as they watch little Horatio murder a violin in cold blood. Plus all the lovely coffee dates- oh and you know, the actual job that I do... that I barely have time for.

The thing is, her lovely prep has encouraged DD to pursue these avenues having 'discovered' her talents- along with a million other things that if she had gone to the local primary, I'm pretty sure I would have been too smugly lazy to even think about. That is no reflection on state school mummies- I know some super-tiger ones.... but I would probably been awful and not even let her join recorder club because- well, who the fuck wants to listen to the fucking recorder.

So this is my life now, and I barely have time to think, let alone spend time polishing my turd enough to look acceptable in public.

I love the lovely prep.... but I think about how ridiculous it is now, and in a few years time I will have three actively participating in all of this shit. No doubt they will stumble upon some glorious talent that DS1 has that will involve me traversing the country, burning £50 notes and chucking them out of the car window as I go.

So, would it be unreasonable to just shout FUCK IT ALL, pull them out, stick them in the lovely, but not as lovely as lovely prep, primary and spend my evenings and weekends drinking very very cold wine and talking to my chickens?

Anybody else just feel like, as much as they love their DC's and their wonderful talents, they wish that they'd just never fucking encouraged them in the first place?

Your DH is neglecting his own family to volunteer. Are you related to the Jellabys by any chance? Yes, it's ok to feel overloaded and swear, but you have created your own stereotype here.

First thought: mummy blogger.

Your writing style is terrible.

Everyone is allowed to moan about their lot but it woudl be more tactful and more conducive to people empathising with you if you didn;t talk about "shoving" children into loacl state like it's somehow the easy option.

I am lone parent running my own business, child with SEN who has just transitioned to secondary. He does extra curricular football, basketball and tennis and sails in the holidays a 1 hr+ round trip away.

Oh and an ill mother who needs support.

I can;t remember when I last went out on a date (or even with other adults frankly!)

If you want to moan that your life has been taken over by your childrens lives then you'll get lots of support and empathy from me. If you're saying you only do all these things because the other "mummies" make you feel you have to and not for the benefit of your your child then not so much.

And yes you and I are both still extremely lucky to have such a high quality problem.

You're not busy because you're the parent of privately educated children but because you're the parent of children full stop

Bingo.

Sorry about the bereavement, hope your family doing ok.

I think it is a little naive to think that children at state schools don't do so many activities. All DDs friends have a range of activities which they do because they either enjoy them or are good at them, not because it is some competitive drive. But every parent I know has bemoaned the number of activities and endless ferrying around, so totally understand the sentiment.

and I too am sorry about your granny.

And agree with others stop volunteering in your day off if you don;t have the time. Stop being a matyr.

My dd is in state school. She has choir Monday so I have to take her To that, she has a football thing on Wednesday so I take her to that, she has gymnastics Thursday so I take her to that, she has swimming saturday morning dh take her to that (he also plays rugby but after lunch). My other dd who's 20 months, has tumble tots which I take her, swimming which I take her and various other playgroups trips to the park soft play with friends etc. I'm a sahm so can fit things while my 6 year old is at school with my younger one. But seen as my dh works mon-fri away I have to do it.

And for your info my dd can't sing for toffee but she enjoys it and she enjoys herself when there and I have a laugh with the parents and coffee and things. So she will do it as long as she enjoys it and wants to. And I'm proud of her for trying!

I'm hoping she does want to learn an instrument too, she can badly play the violin while I go out on Sunday morning and leave dh in charge 🤣

Some of the pushiest tiger moms I know are at state school, they cleverly choose to spend their money on music, dance,drama & art outside school & also having the luxury of choosing the best music schools etc for their dc as they don't have to make do with the private option which is obviously not going to be as good as a specialised private tutor!
Also if you are struggling to get your actual work done, you need to get your husband to man up & take his share of the responsibilities.
I gather you will be in for a bit of a shock if you choose a state school, plenty of parents devoted to childrens education & super talents & are prepared to trample anyone who gets in their dcs way. Just saying. It works in both sectors.

I find your post mildly offensive. I find some excellent points made on this thread.

1. you chose your life
2. your DP may be shirking some responsibility but see point 1.

My point is

1. you are no busier than any other mum with any number of children so see point 1.

Why would I feel twattish about what I said about her husband - I'm not one for martyrdom- be it volunteering or ferrying kids about to activities if it doesn't suit a family as a whole. I've 3 kids - I've told my 6 year old that no she can't do every activity after school because there's 5 of us and we all need time to do things - funny enough she was able to grasp it.

Expressing yourself as a victim of having to send your children to private school is....irritating. And tasteless. Yours and your DH's education clearly did not equip you to take your own decisions and think for yourselves, free of your own damn upbringing and caving in to the opinions of your MIL.

Bring your own children up to be more independent.

excellent points 81.

Does anyone ever go to a horrible prep? Or admit to it?

" I send my childrne to the local horrible prep because fuck it, it's awful but I don't have to do homework with them and they arrange all the extra curricular activities"

(is that really true?)

Cruel, Hannah, cruel.

Badly played violins could be used as a weapon of war.

Mind you, dd does quite a haunting version of the Harry Potter theme tune on the recorder.

I'm sorry about your grandmother.

But I agree with multivac. Try reading your posts back as though you were a state-school mummy. Now do you see why you've got people's backs up?

You've accepted a privileged education for your children, but complain about how this has sucked you into a world of extra curriculars. Think about us plebs reading the thread who don't have the choices you have.

Does your DD enjoy the activities? If she does, then I think you need to suck it up. If she doesn't, well don't force her.

Your writing is very...considered...OP. It's hardly been thrown together in the eye of the storm, has it?

It does sound a bit Mummy Blog, in which case I'm sure your style and Hilarious Take on Motherhood will appeal to some, but not all. The 'lovely' the cold cold wine and the 'talking to chickens' is a bit a lottry hard.

Is your blog Lovely Prep, Cold Wine and Talking to Chickens?

This won't be it, but I'm still waiting for a parenting blog that I actually want to read, rather than one that makes me want to chuck a brick at the computer in sheer irritation. Northern Dad is funny, mind. Authenticity is key I think. Thats why so many grate.

Of course, there may be no blog. Just Lovely Prep.

strikeout fail

Not at all embittered. Lovely fully invested dh of 20 years here.

You sound like you're projecting embitterment however...

about how much pressure we put ourselves under as mummies

You refer to you and fellow mothers as “mummies”.? I find that a little cringe worthy.

Anyways. My daughter was privately educated from the age of four to eighteen. I never felt the need to get “sucked in”and do an avalanche of extra activities. I have no idea what you’re actually talking about. The only women I saw do this shit were the ones who had little else going on and were living through their kids. You don’t seem to fall into this category. As such is it because you’re not paying you feel you should/?

I hate to say this but speak as one who gently encouraged any "activities" that my 4 Ds's showed an aptitude for.
Without exception if I was unable to throw money at it, was unable to ferry them around (due to work commitments) the enthusiasm started to wane (very rapidly)
DS2 was (still is) a very talented runner, he was "leg hunted" by a prestigious running club that was not very local to us . Because of his enthusiasm he arranged lifts/travel to and from the club, that neither Dh and i could do because we were both at work.

I wonder how many of these activities Dc's would chose for themselves if they were not being pushed by parents?

The other thing is as soon as they hit their teens violin lessons pale into insignificance when up against the mysteries of the opposite sex, and that's before their sporting careers come to an abrupt halt because they've started smoking!

A determined child will persevere with an interest or activity, save yourself the grief and expense on those who are only doing it because it makes the parent feel better about their parenting if their Dcs are doing all these things..

Hilarious. Most state school children I know have a similar schedule or even more demanding as some of the lessons you get included at the prep may be extra curricular.

Amazingly talented children persue one option. There are children at our school who compete for England juniors I can assure you they focus on that and not a myriad of hobbies. So perhaps your dd needs to pick the one she is most amazing at.

The long school run would be a negative for me.

Yes consider local state primary but don't expect less extra curricular

State school mummies. Smugly lazy. WTF? Are you trapped in a Jilly Cooper novel OP?
ODFOD.

You will get no respite at state primary op. Street dance, violin, French, extra maths, brownies, hockey

"I send my childrne to the local horrible prep because fuck it, it's awful but I don't have to do homework with them and they arrange all the extra curricular activities"

(is that really true?)

It really is for us - not just Enid Blyton. You can take your kids home at the end of the school day or half an hour later and they will do 'prep' (HOMEWORK to the rest of the world ffs) with them. I always choose the 'do their homework at school' option because I hate doing homework with my kids. Probably makes me a bad mother but I don't give a shit, I think it's torture. After 'prep' they can stay for activities like horse riding, ballet, brownies, gardening, photography, swimming - whatever. All stuff you don't have to run them around to. They can then stay for tea after that if they want. We don't do many activities as they do cost extra but I think prep school parenting has the potential to be easier, not harder than state. But of course families and circumstances are all different so no sweeping statements.