The never-ending visitors for a Newborn

[ColdFeetWarmHeart]

Is it just me or is there a lot of people who think they have some right to see a squishy newborn??

My friends have sent messages saying congratulations, let us know when I'm up for visitors / meeting up etc. Lovely. But family, especially family that you don't see much of normally, expect to come round and see you when the baby is a couple of days old. There is never any question of "is mum ready for it?" Or is it convenient?? No of course not!!

Wibu to book a last minute break in a cottage in the middle of nowhere, away with DH, and DD1 & 2 for a month and not tell anyone where we are??

[SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning]

emmyrose it's not a competition. it's ok if other people struggle, bully for you that you didn't find it emotionally too much to have visitors.

[ethelfleda]

Some of you on here going on about being bloody grateful to have visitors and serves you right if they tell you to fuck off if you politely ask them to wait... I am very glad I'm not related to any of you! And wonder if maybe you're the ones that have dumped yourselves on people hours after birth because you feel you have some God given right to meet the new born?? Why can't you just accept that everyone copes differently. Some people will be thrilled and others not so much... either way - the wishes of the parents come first!

[Hatstand]

Enjoy your visitor-free days OP. My FIL mowed the lawn too! I didnt even want it mown, I loved having the grass long and seeing all the bees and butterflies.

[PickingOakum]

I think the problem comes when visitors come and stay for over an hour, and expect to hold the baby for long periods of time.

Had I known then what I do now, I would have been firmer about times as I believe the constant afternoon visitors we had jeopardised the establishment of breast feeding. People wanted newborn snuggles when I really I should have been in bed with DD just responding to her feeding cues (cue: lots of comments about how DD didn't need feeding and "hasn't she had enough yet?" purely because visitors wanted to hold her). I really had no idea what was required to establish good breast feeding at the time.

That said, my DPs and ILs did us a favour in that they would look after DD while DH and I snatched a quick nap.

[TakeitEasy23]

my MIL is number 1 on my not to entertain list. She boycotted our wedding. Has always created dramas. She all of a sudden wants a relationship after finding out the gender of the baby to be. She is Muslim. She expects to be entertained. She will guilt trip us if we ever dare say we are too exhausted or stressed with life to go out. She calls the baby "my baby". She claims that labor generally happen the way it happened with your MIL. My obs said it's based on my genes. She is a drama queen and has openly said evil things to me. I have already outlined no circumcision is happening whatsoever. She will not be visiting in the first month. I don't feel comfortable having my baby in her presence. I don't want her to touch him. She has thrown things at my husband when he was just a child leaving permanent scars to his face. I saw her telling her grandson the other day that he didn't deserve his bike (he fell with the bike and a part came loose). The appropriate thing to say would have been "are you ok? are you hurt?" He is a primary school aged kid and he started crying uncontrollably. She is narcissistic and is highly manipulative. Our privacy is not respected. She is single. I wouldn't want her anywhere near my kid. I know that I will not mind having my best friend or hubby's best friend there and some of my extended family after a few weeks or the first month but I will mind having his family. Specifically because I have never been treated well by them. They used to interact with me by calling me profanities. Umm hello... I have a name.. I just happen to not be Muslim.

First few months is for parents and people parents are comfortable with to interact with baby. Don't feel rude to say no. I know many people come with good intentions and bring gifts. However, the mother and baby need to recover. There is 3 months after birth where the baby is adjusting to life outside the womb. He/she needs mother's touch. Needs to bond with mum and dad. Needs to be around people that are not sick that have had whooping cough vaccines. Shouldn't be carried by too many people as the newborn body easily gets hurt or uncomfortable.

[Coastalcommand]

I loved having visitors too. After trying for so long it felt like a miracle to introduce our baby to the people we love.

[NeepNeepNeep]

This is a zombie thread but Takeit your MIL sounds like a nightmare.