to consider reporting this family for having lied to the school?

[mnbvcx445566]

Two parents and one child. They live nowhere near the primary state school they applied for and got into. I think - am pretty sure - they used a different address to the one they live at.
School very sought after. Shall I report them?

I've looked carefully into myself and this is what I think:

1- I am not jealous. If I had the chance to do the same I would not. I would like my child to go to a great state school so they are lucky for that but I would not play the way they did.

2- If I report them the child will have problems at school (? don't quite know what happens in those cases). The parents might have a breakdown or something having to face the backlash. Obviously they have brains and made their choice and would only pay the consequences of their actions but - I - would have precipitated the situation by reporting them. Maybe the system is so fucked anyway that what they did is not that big of a deal. Surely the school should have done 1000 checks before awarding places so there might be something I do not know. What I do know is that they live miles from that school, which has a very very small catchment area.

3- I should report them because if my child did not get into that school 'legally' I would despise people who took advantage of a loophole and took 'my child's place'.

WWYD?

I am a long-time poster/user but I have opened a different account as I do not want to be recognised. (If I do not want to face them and tell them that they are committing an illegal/immoral action does it mean that I am in the wrong thinking of calling the school anonymously?)

She knows nothing other than they live outside catchment, she's just guessing at the rest. That's it. Unless she's rocking up and saying hey can I see the birth certificate, is your kid adopted. And it is more than likely it's a legitimate place.

Whatever happens to the world where people always looked to assume the worse, even if there was a myriad of other reasons it would not be the case, them lets stick it to each other in the name of moral superiority.

She saw her pregnant

So not adopted, who gives a shit, still a load of other reasons the kid could be there legitmately, inc the la simply allocating them a place.

And fraud happens.the parents won't know they were reported.

Every year people defraud the system.

And fraud could be one of the reasons...

Why are you so worried about op repeprting. If there's a legit reason nothing will happen.

So much injustice in the world that needs fighting and people devote their brain space to such small minded bullshit. op go and find some battles worth fighting...

I just can't shake of the feeling that the reasons the OP is concerned about this is down to her being altruistic.

You can be a dick and still have every right to report a suspicion.

And people should.

People who haven't lied have nothing to fear. Well except of course losing out to those who do lie.

I guess it comes down to are you the sort of person who sees the worst in people and will get all up in their business without any leg to stand on, or do you assume the best. I see the best, it's clear others like to see the worst.

I'd put money on this being nothing more than spite and searching for a reason to attack. Altruism my arse.

I repeat. If she is honest she has nothing to worry about.

Everything will be on file and she will never know.

Sometimes seeing the best in people gets you trampled on.

Sometimes even good people go to extreme lengths to get what they want or feel they should have.

Things like this bring out the worst in everyone and all those who are "seeing the best in people" are likely the very ones screwed over by them. As they never see it coming.

And im.sure most people who are honest and good wpuld he fine proving so.

Of someome were to report me I understand. I have nothing to hide can produce bills bank statements etc and a Google search would show the allocation breakdowns.

I would not be worried.

We are never going to agree on this. If she knew it was fraudulent or something more than just they live outside catchment I'd see your point, but she knows nothing, no one is trampling on her, and to use our over stretched resources to investigate them is ridiculous, and in addition may put a family already under stress under even more stress.

What do you advocate, every single one of us now reports every kid outside catchment? And councils increase their staffing to deal with the thousands of ridiculous time wasting reports?

She should spend her time dealing with something she does know is actually wrong if she wishes to put the world to rights.

She knows they live 3 miles away.

She knows he kid is not adopted and has no SN and there are no siblings.

The admission policies are freely available

It would be easy enough to check.

There's not much else that would get you in to an oversubscribed school.

The admission criteria usually loom like

LAC
Sn
Catchment
SIBLINGS
Distance

If you can rule out most of those and you know the school is highly sought after that's enough to raise a few questions surely

What this thread has made me understand is that there are so many more implications about a child taking up a space that isn't 'theirs' than I had thought about. I am lucky in that I have a child in a good school close to home and no one is going to take that away. But for those who cheat the system (independently of the case I brought here), do they tell their child who is 5 to lie about where they live?

I have made mistakes in my life. Either I paid for them or I learned from them or I got away with them and I should consider myself 'lucky'. If I drive too fast I know what can happen to me, to the passengers, or to some stranger. If I am caught I need to be prepared to pay for my actions. What difference does it make if the policeman who stops me is what I consider an awful person?

The reasons why I have posted here could be many. I could be a Peace Nobel prize winner or a wife beater and it would make no difference. I am starting to wonder whether those who say that bending these rules is ok and that I am a busybody and that I should find something better to do would also turn a blind eye to other things.

Op, if you're still reading, I've reread your posts, you do seem to be grappling with what you want to do, you know a lot about these people but state you're not friends, and go on to say you may actually be envious of her. Is there a school mum clique issue here?

How do you know so much about this couple , from their rented property in the catchment area, her pregnancy, their children's needs, when you're not friends?

Do you feel excluded by her in some way? What is making you focus on her and her personal life to this extent?

OP please report if they have done nothing wrong then nothing will happen.

Your motives for doing this should not even come into it. Not sure why Bluntness keeps telling you not to.

op

Did you manage to find the details of allocations?

Ive explained my reasons plenty, and I've never told her not to, I've said i wouldn't. Suggest you read the thread,

What I mean about not being friends, I have already written this, is that if she was my friend I would be totally straightforward about why I think this is wrong. Because I cared about my friend. This person is one of the many people I have in my life because of having kids. I know a family with twins, I remember seeing the mother pregnant, I know what the children are allergic to, I know where they will be at school, where they live, where the grandparents live, where they have been on holiday, I bought them presents for their birthdays and I had a few coffees with her over the years that we have known each other. I have not picked the mother of the twins as my friend, we just happen to be in each other's worlds. Does this not happen to those who ask me why I know so many things about the people in my life? Don't you differentiate between what you do/say to friends and what you do/say with neighbours or schoolparents?

And although in my original post I said that I was wondering whether I was somewhat jealous of this woman because I could not get this 'possible cheating' out of my head, I also then wrote that I understood what bothers me. If she has cheated, it is clear that she has no problem kicking a child to make space for hers, and she could very well do it with it with mine.

So I guess you will report her then? Will you tell them?

No I have not found the details. Can they have not been published yet?
There are for the other schools of the area.
However, the website of the school says that the first criteria is distance (apart from siblings, sen and other special circumstances) and that a rental contract or deeds of the home need to be provided as proof of residence.

Bluntness I have read the thread thanks. Having been on the other side of this I can't grasp why you are on the side of the cheaters. If they lied they have gained a place that should never have been theirs.

I do not want to say what I will do. But I would not tell a hit and run that I have given their details to the police or a robber that I told the police they have robbed a shop. Would you?

OP At least you are now admitting that what you are going to do is from spite rather than a sense of fairness which is what you purported in your original post. Go and do what was always your intention to do. Then perhaps take a good look at your inner self and think of how you can make yourself happier from within because, and I mean this kindly, life is hard enough without making it even harder for yourself and others.