To think a single man travelling to Thailand regularly is up to no good

[Katyazamo]

My uncle (who I am not particularly close to) travels to Thailand alone several times a year. He is in his mid 50s and has lived with my grandad since divorcing his wife around 20 years ago.
It's suddenly occurred to me that he's probably up to no good :/
AIBU?

Let's hope it's consenting adults he's seeing.

shark I know it wasn't directed at anyone- merely an observation that in a thread like this it isn't long before that insult is wheeled out. And patronisingly calling someone dear doesn't help your argument

...I know someone who lived on an Asian country close to Thailand. He would often (and seemingly very considerately) pay for his wife to fly home or on mini breaks to places like Singapore. One day she came home from a day out and there's a note waiting for her. Every time she was out of the country he was flying to Thailand to meet up with his Thai girlfriend - who he had met when she was 'working' in a bar in Hong Kong. The relationship started off as business and as far as he was concerned had turned into love. He left his wife and 3 years later he's still with his Thai gf. The thing is during mediation it all came out that he had been a regular shagger of prostitutes for a very long time. So many men do it - if he is up to something then he's probably normalised it in his head....

It's true though. Would you like yours to be controlled? No? Don't do it to men then

In your head, perhaps.

Nobody is trying to control men's sexuality.

Only wondering about the illegal and imoral aspects of it (it happens to be a thread about a man).

Now, if you happen to know a case of a woman who regularly travels (not for business or similar) to a country known for exploitation of women, boys and girls, please post about it.

I don't really think anyone can help the argument and 'dear' is better than so many other words I want to use to you and a couple of others.
I know some people have seen a documentary and some have been to Bangkok but I lived there. I am lifelong friends with many Thais. I also have more male friends than female. I'm offended on all their behalfs. Properly angry and I usually let idiocy on the internet wash over me.

It's also never long before MRA, whining, poor menz etc are used. Boring isn't it. The difference is that I said the comment 'would be used to suggest man-hating...' as opposed to using it directly as a put down. It's very different.

There were originally two sides on this thread.

Yes, the man is up to no good because he's a man going to Thailand.

No, there are many reasons to visit Thailand and saying that he must certainly be going there to have sex is racist and sexist.

Of course, it's now been obfuscated by arguments about general prostitution (where I agree it's terrible but not rape) and peadophilia (which clearly doesn't have any opposing arguement).

I'm still fairly shocked that MN have simply closed their eyes to such a sexist and racist thread.

*Surely western women are making this happen. If western women would stop being shallow and picky then men wont be going abroad for sex?

You (myself included sad) are part of the problem*

Are you fucking kidding me?

I dont think every man who goes to Thailand for sex is a peadophile or even into anything that would be considered illigal here but they are contributing to those problems. I listened to a podcast recently which interviewed someone involved with a charity rescuing children who had been trafficed and he said that where ever there is a sex trade,there is a child sex trade. It was an interesting interview,i will try to find a link.

Ok,i cant link to the episode directly as i'm on my phone but it was episode 3.08 of The West Wing Weekly - The women of Qumar. The guest was Dr Tim Ballard.

www.thewestwingweekly.com

I should also add i have paraphrased as i listened to the episode months ago but that was the jist of it. If i have remembered it incorrectly i apologise. But i highly recommend anyone who thinks men going to thailand for sex is ok takes a listen.

I'm not going to listen to it. It's vile and anybody with the merest shred of decency would think so.

Can't believe the minimising going on here.
As for you shark, my ex had a good customer once who he and everyone else thought was a very good egg. Turns out he was arrested and charged with murdering a woman who he had raped and attacked. He was into perverted sexual things.
Guess what? Nobody knew.
Do you seriously think that every single man you meet is going to confess to fucking prostitutes? Really?
Bloody hell you are naive.
Please do not trott out the ' but I know they wouldn't,' line.
Fact: the U.K. Sex industry is kept alive by married men.
I can tell you that their wives will be unaware of this fact.

He's a sex tourist, maybe quite possibly a paedophile.

OP Why don't you ask him:

Is it the adult sex workers
The ladyboyz
Or the or the drugged children he goes to shag

to his face and see.

As for those saying report him to the police, they already have him on a database.

I'm pretty saddened at all the posters who are hoisting their judge pants up at a guy who goes to Thailand on holiday...... so he MUST be a sex tourist?!

Yes, it's possible but come on!!!!!!!!

And the posters that are saying the OP should report him to the police for being a peadophile??? Fucking hell!

Oh gosh another invasion. You got here quick lads.

@SerfTerm

"Oh gosh another invasion. You got here quick lads."

BINGO! Thanks

must be a sad little world where everyone who disagrees with you is a man

The only man I know who regularly goes to Thailand splits his time between:

Elephant sanctuaries, and
Ladyboy BJ bars 🤢

I would also assume rightly or wrongly he was going for sex.

shark

I'd say SOME of the newbies who arrive to blame British women for men buying sex in Thailand are probably male, wouldn't you?

Stopping people going to these countries to buy sex would be a start but there needs to be a whole dynamics shift within those countries as well before it can truly be stopped

That's the crux of the matter isn't it? It would need a much cleverer mind than mine to work out how to stop folk travelling to such a plentiful supply, and as long as there's money to be made I can't quite see that the corruption in places such as Bangkok will ever allow it to stop

I'm also intrigued by men who claim they're "going back to visit their Thai girlfriend". Whatever the rights and wrongs of this, do they seriously imagine the girls are sitting pining over their photos during their absence? They're no doubt quick enough to bank the money sent over by their smitten "fiance", but reports suggest they're straight back in the bars the instant their last one's on the flight home

Before anyone starts stamping I absolutely appreciate that, in many cases, it's their pimp forcing them into this; however it's the deluded mindsets of their absent foreign "partners" which fascinates me here

I'd say SOME of the newbies who arrive to blame British women for men buying sex in Thailand are probably male, wouldn't you?

Gotspoiler isn't a newbie. I've seen plenty of nonsense from her on other threads but she has excelled herself with her blaming picky western women who won't have sex with ugly men as the cause of sex tourism.

'Plentiful supply'?... of vulnerable people
There are teenage boys in nappies all over Africa and Asia, because their anal sphincter has been destroyed by being fucked in the ass so often and so hard.

These men just need to be held to account, the same as if they were doing this at home, in Europe

The lastest craze for such men seems to be watching Mothers sexually abuse their Daughters, judging by the recent convictions in the news.

This happens over Skype etc as well.

One Woman bought out her 10 year old Daughter and was told "too old" by the visiting (white British), man so she got her 6 year old instead, which he approved of.

He (or others) wasn't charged with being a Peadophile, though, just a lesser charge similar to Abusive Child Images.

It can cost as little as £6 to watch a child being abused.

But then, Men do have needs that us Western Harridans won't serve.

What the fuck is wrong with these men? How do they reach that level of sadistic entitlement? It's heartbreaking and enraging.
I think men going to hotbeds of abuse tourism should have to be fucking chipped.
YANBU OP, maybe your uncle is "just" going to use adult prostitutes, maybe it's worse than that, but it sounds well dodgy.
I don't care if that offends anyone. Too many vulnerable women and children are abused by too many men for me to care if it's "unfair".

if quite hoenstly ,i was involved with the prosecution of a western man who was involved in the sadistic rap eand torture of a very young child in Thailand.

He was genuinely confused when prosecuted. he genuinely did not think it 'mattered' if the kid was non-British, because cultures are 'different' in Asia and the kids didn't really mind, apparently.

He was not the only one. By a very very long way.

That's horrific her.

Only a drop in the ocean.

I'm going to have to step away from the thread. It's bringing back too much for me. I will just say though..... the people who do this and perpetuate this. They are 'normal' men..... not freaking psychopaths you'd recognise as such in the street. Husbands, friends and fathers. And it is ever so more common than you could imagine.