To think a single man travelling to Thailand regularly is up to no good

[Katyazamo]

My uncle (who I am not particularly close to) travels to Thailand alone several times a year. He is in his mid 50s and has lived with my grandad since divorcing his wife around 20 years ago.
It's suddenly occurred to me that he's probably up to no good :/
AIBU?

I go to Cornwall 2 or free times a year, doesn't mean I'm going to binge on pasties 

Main reason I go to Cornwall.

Mumsnet is wierd!

Man in his 50s with no obvious interest in Thai culture going to Thailand several times a year is a perfectly innocent traveler going to clear his head on a beach.

Man in his 50s reading a book on a bench in a park in the U.K. within sight of a playground is a potential paedophile and should be reported to the police.....

OP- of course he's a sex tourist. And no, it's not because he is "too nice" or "not attractive enough" for pesky picky British women.

any men going for regular holidays to Thailand alone or in exclusively male groups are having sex with prostitutes. Sorry if any of your relatives or friends fall into that group but wise up

Sweeping generalisation.

I know a chap who regularly went out to Thailand. Turns out he was seeing a Thai woman. She wasn't a sex worker, there was nothing dodgy. He was just worried about telling people (I wonder why!) because she was younger than him (she was 30 to his 40)

They've been happily married for a few years and now split their time between Thailand and England.

If men are so worried about looking dodgy when they (innocently, ie no paid-for sex) go out with Thai women maybe they should be part of groups and charities who tackle sex trafficking in these countries? Help the women who are from the culture of their beloveds? Rather than whining about it. Just a thought

Unless he has a passion for Thailand temples, with lots of books and talks about them a lot, then yes he will be.

The cynic in me agrees. I would imagine he is visiting prostituted women (although not necessarily underage)

Mind you I did know a long term single bloke who visited Thailand to spot a very particular Thai train based on a British class 158. He was such an avid rail enthusiast that i 100% believe him.

On the balance of probabilities, I'd say he's a sex tourist.

Having been quite a few times id say it is very possible he is "up to no good."
I ended up shouting at the many disgusting lecherous ugly old (and young) men with very beautiful, often extremely young women. And those are the scenes you see out in the streets. I'd rather not think of what people are able to engage in behind closed doors.

There are many different types of sex tourist. He may be visiting prostitutes, he may be a paedophile. You will know whether you have independently had concerns about him.

He may also be engaging the services of a marriage agency. Some feel this is sex tourism, others not. There is an obvious inequality there, but some of these marriages seem to work out.

I knew a group of men in their 50s who used to regularly go to Thailand together. After a few years they all came back with Thai wives at the same time.

However, I'm not sure who was exploiting who. The ladies wanting passports to a better life or the men who wanted a wife. I am extremely dubious that there was any real love involved though.

@CherryChasingDotMuncher

Women falling over themselves to minimise bad behaviour of rapists?

Where?

Why do you think men go all the way to Thailand to do this? Because the culture of sex tourism, coupled with the fact that prostitutes will do anything with anyone because they’re so impoverished

What are you basing this on? I assume that you lived there too and studied the culture or is this simply assumptions?

these men go for one thing

Which men and why are you so sure that the subject of the OP is one?

If men are so worried about looking dodgy when they ... go out with Thai women maybe they should be part of groups and charities who tackle sex trafficking in these countries? Help the women who are from the culture of their beloveds? Rather than whining about it. Just a thought

I can't see any men whining about it.

Why the actual fuck should they have to join a charity to make their 'innocent' relationships acceptable? Do they then have to wear a badge to show support for the charity so that they can avoid judgement?

I really do find your attitude abhorrent. I'm amazed that MN has let such a racist thread continue. I think it's a shame that people like you get some perverse pleasure from being so disgustingly sexist towards men. You perpetrate the 'man-hating feminazi' image that so many have and the rest of us suffer.

He may well be a john. You have zero idea what he gets up to. Any guessing is based on racism and sexism.

Replace Italy with Thailand and I don't see how you can suddenly think it's suspicious.
Um, because Italy isn't well known for it's sex trade/sex tourism.

Oh dear. Some people really are genuinely thick.

I've been to Thailand and the huge numbers of older British men with young prostitutes has to be seen to be believed. DH and I as well as some friends ended up in a row with one particularly vile specimen from Yorkshire who was lording it over a bunch of young girls in a bar saying he 'owned' everyone in the town like he was living in some colonial fantasy where the big important white man can treat the natives like shit.

They disgust me and you can see the locals despise them too but they are desperate for the money.

Blimey. What sweeping generalisations. I know 2, if not 3 men who have been to Thailand frequently and not slept with prostitutes.

They really liked the culture, the philosophy, the way of life, the relaxedness of it, the zen, the temples, the food, the prayer and contemplation, the peace and tranquility and mindfulness.

No? Not possible.

Quite a few posters said ' none that I've met' .

Really?

People seem to be missing the very real fact that a lot of women in Thailand move from their homes to the cities in order to find themselves a European or American husband - it's all about money.
Yes my MIL did love my FIL, but she openly admits that when she first met him all she was seeing were pound signs and a passport. It's not about love for most of them. They will have sex with and marry whoever they have to in order to forge a better life for themselves and their families.

Actually my cousin is a single man almost in his 50s and lives in Thailand. He's in a tiny rural community where he paints all day and lives a totally zen way of life.

YANBU

I think it's a shame that people like you get some perverse pleasure from being so disgustingly sexist towards men. You perpetrate the 'man-hating feminazi' image that so many have and the rest of us suffer.

Sexist towards men? No, just men who go to Thailand frequently, alone. That's a teeny tiny subset of men.

Man-hating? No, just not feeling particularly warm towards the small subset of men who travel to Thailand frequently, alone.

There's no 'man-hating' going on here. Just some judgment of men who go to Thailand frequently, alone.

Most men do not come under this umbrella. Obviously. So you don't need to get all offended on their behalf.

OP YANBU.

It's more than likely he's going there for the sex trade. Thailand is full of middle aged (and older) men doing exactly this, especially Pattaya, Hua Hin and Bangkok.

Of course it is very remotely possible he's going there for the beaches, food and culture. But on balance of probabilities this is very unlikely and it's much more likely he's going there for the prostitutes.

Some people on this thread are very naive. Yes, there are a few exceptions to going there for the sex industry and there will be a few similar aged single men going there for other reasons, but most of them aren't. People on here seem to cite people they know/know of going there for other reasons, but many men who go there for the sex trade lie and pretend they're going there for other reasons. As I said above, Thailand has a massive sex industry and this cannot exist without the (mainly) men going there to use it.

Sex tourism is huge is se Asia. Was in Cambodia last year and there were notices in the hotel warning about the fines etc and stating the law.

Thailand, I've been several times. Love the food and the culture. But there's No getting away from the fact that there's a lot of single men who are not there for the culture.

Man at work,senior, had to go to Thailand for work a lot. Told his wife he'd met a lovely woman out there, was leaving his wife, had bought his Thai fiancée a house. Huge upset, told wife he'd slept with other women out there. He went back to Thailand to find the fiancée had changed the locks on the house and moved on from him already. I didn't have much sympathy.

* What are you basing this on? I assume that you lived there too and studied the culture or is this simply assumptions?*

You’re right, aside from an actual visit, hearing about it from friends and seeing countless documentaries about sex tourism involving very old men and very young women, they were probably just giving them directions and I’m jumping to conclusion.

Don’t be thick. And people have said “it’s their right” WRT to paying for prostitutes (which, in my book, is rape pure and simple)

* Which men and why are you so sure that the subject of the OP is one?*

FFS, plenty of answers to this in the thread. Why are you so insistent he is there for anything but sex?

* I can't see any men whining about it.*

PPs have said that men who marry SE Asian women get annoyed at the stereotype. Again, perhaps RTFT?

* Why the actual fuck should they have to join a charity to make their 'innocent' relationships acceptable? Do they then have to wear a badge to show support for the charity so that they can avoid judgement?*

My point is they’re happy to moan about being stereotyped but aren’t willing to be part of solving the problem that creates that stereotype. But then again I never do expect men to actually tackle any issues WRT women. They just moan about them being the victims

I think it's a shame that people like you get some perverse pleasure from being so disgustingly sexist towards men. You perpetrate the 'man-hating feminazi' image that so many have and the rest of us suffer.

Lol. I find it gross that you are so sexist towards women and are trying to excuse bad behaviour of these horrible men, but there you go.

And massive yawn at ‘man-hating feminazi’. Being pissed off because old men use young prostitues is such white-supremacist hateful behaviour. Those poor menz.

Check your internalised misogyny, it’s truly frightening

* Any guessing is based on racism and sexism.*

Lol again. He’s there for sex. Don’t be so thick. How that is racist or sexist is beyond me.

This thread is a great example of cognitive dissonance.

And I’m not sure if people claiming they KNOW FOR A FACT men they know didn’t sleep with prostitutes when they went there, followed them about the whole time or they’re just being obtuse? I’m not saying those men did sleep with prostitutes, but why on earth do you think they definitely didn’t? I, for example, wouldn’t say “my brother went to Amsterdam but definitely didn’t smoke weed” because I just don’t know.

It’s like when people say “he definitely didn’t touch her, he told me so”. Well, perhaps there’s a reason they aren’t admitting it.

"I think it's a shame that people like you get some perverse pleasure from being so disgustingly sexist towards men. You perpetrate the 'man-hating feminazi' image that so many have and the rest of us suffer."

I don't hate men. I'm not keen in men who sexually exploit women, though. In any country.

I suspect some people have family members on here who frequent Thailand a lot and can’t come to terms with the fact that their Nigel might be using prostitutes, so they try to deny the sexual tourism exists in the way it does

sex tourism goes on

but its not the only reason to go to thailand