Ridiculous ‘in jokes’ that you no longer know the provenance of.

[CredulousThickos]

Have just sat down to watch tv with DH. Mock the Week is on. So we’ve both gone, ooh muuuurch the weeeerk and then sang over the theme tune by singing ‘newsoftheworld newsoftheworld newsoftheworld’ over all the actual lyrics.

We must have been doing this for about ten years now and I’ve no idea why.

We also pluralise/apostrophise and butcher celebrity names (Kylie’s Minogue, Liza Starbucks etc) and try to make a long chain of celebrity tenuous and fictional links, like Bruno Mars is Freddie Mercury’s nephew, who in turn is Freddie Krueger’s brother, who is married to Diane Kruger...

Tell me your frankly insane couple or family ramblings to make us feel a bit normaler!

Every time one we pass a big cemetery in the car, one of us has to say "that's the dead centre of you know" in a deadpan voice.

If DH or I want to show appreciation for what the other is wearing, we'll say "that is a smashing blazer you've got on". That started at our wedding, when the registrar said it to DH. I'm pretty certain it's really a line from Bottom, except that was "that is a smashing blouse you've got on". We've wondered since then whether the registrar had a bet on with someone that he couldn't sneak a Bottom reference into a wedding.

Whenever someone says 'world' we say 'or the world' in a proper strong cockney accent for no reason.
My dad calls me a 'beautiful eyelash' whenever he thinks I look nice 😂
'We're going to steep' instead of going to sleep.

@Thingsiseeinmybathroom

its from snatch brad pitt says it we do it too- also whn is it ready? 5 minuts turkish-even if its two or however long!

I'm from London but have lived in Yorkshire long enough to kind of have the accent... when DP wants to make me laugh, he hooks his thumbs in imaginary braces and shouts "'E done what, son!'" in an atrocious approximation of a Cockney accent.

I cannot remember why and nor can he, but it makes us both howl with laughter.

If anyone says garlic bread, I have to say “it’s the future” in a bad Peter Kay accent.

When in a cafe or restaurant with table service, my dad will ask if I’m having tea/pudding etc and I have to say “is it on the trolley?” Can’t even remember what that was off - something with Victoria Wood I think?

Whenever a group of us are talking at cross purposes about unrelated things someone will randomly say, "These mashed potatoes are so creamy", and a few minutes later "Mary mashed them". (From the Sandra Bullock movie While You Were Sleeping.)
DH and I also say " I love you the moat" after I one of us said it erroneously instead of 'most' years ago.
When someone breaks wind, it's "buttocks" in a Forrest Gump voice ('butt talks', geddit? )

Someone from my immediate family will interrupt whenever anyone says "I see..." to finish "...said the blind man to his deaf dog, and he picked up his hammer and saw".
Also whenever anyone says "well, well, well!" someone will add "3 deep holes!".
My siblings and I say "Ooh, it's a bit nipply out" when it's cold.
DH finds these infuriating even though they're really witty.

We've spent quite a lot of today saying "Business is booming, Brian, BOOMING!" In the voice of Den Perry from Phoenix Nights. No idea why but it keeps us entertained.

Oh and that song "Sweet Caroline"...DH and I always sing 'sweeet Caroline, bam bam bam, you make me happy with your nose..." No idea why but we always do it.

We also went through a phase about 4 years ago when we constantly spoke in a West Country accent to each other - we had to stop because we were doing it all the time and it was getting ridiculous

We have distorted the cockerney rhyming slang of 'cream crackered' = knackered to simply saying 'cream fucked' to denote extreme tiredness. More mysterious is describing something of high quality as being 'Robert Kilroy Silk'. I forgot this was weird once and said it to a joiner after he had done a particularly neat repair to our door.

Does no one else put on their 'sauchihall streets' of a morning?

Just me then.

When ever anyone suggests anything vaguely challenging, it's "One thousand pounds? All this water will need to be moved!" from a show that the kids used to watch on CBBC.

And when anyone says something the other person doesn't understand, they respond "oo are they?" in northern accent and the other person has to say "exactly". A milk advert absolutely years ago about Accrington Stanley.

We are so witty in our house.

We do the "those cows are small, those cars are far away.." thing too. When I'm confused by something I say "Fire bad, tree pretty" which is what Buffy says after they burn down the school to kill the mayor.

The silliest one though is at work. I'm a lawyer and have shared a room for years with the same guy. Whenever we come across a code of practice we always chorus "it's not a code, it's more guidelines" a la Pirates of the Caribbean, and then fall about laughing. In the last couple of years we acquired a further young room mate and the first time he heard us do this he just looked at is like we were mad.

Cows not cars!

Cheps instead of chips because I mispronounced it once and DH with my let me live it down.

We can't say cheesecake, it must be chanted repeatedly (and very loudly).

We have enchilADAAAS! for tea. Emphasis on the A's.

"Po-ta-tooooes. Boil em mash em stick em in a stew!"

"Keep it secret, keep it safe" when passing biscuits out of sight of the toddlers

There are so many. We converse mostly in in-jokes and film quotes

Welshwabbit I feel like we would get on well

Any talk of tiger bread must be said in a ridiculous strong Irish accent "TIGER BREEEEEERAAAAD"
Loads of quotes from films and tv.

If we need kitchen towel we'll ask for 'ice and a slice'. There are so many, we discussed the other day we'll have to start calling things what they're actually called or our new baby will grow up thoroughly confused

We use 'TOOB' if talking about boobs.

DM was trying to say TITS in code when Dsis was little and said something along lines of "she called him a boob but with a T" and sis pipes up WHAT IS A TOOB?

When brushing hair "WANNA SEE ME DO MY HAIR THIS FAST" from Jonny Bravo.

Language Timothy!

When dressing/undressing the kids "arms up for Jesus!" (No one is religious)

Mer-ing-gooo and frick-it-ion for meringue and friction after I read them totally wrong in class and was mortified as a teenager.

Whenever we have DM over for dinner, cries of PEAS PEAS PEAS! If peas are served, after DD was my pfb and I panicked that she'd choke on the peas DH served her.

Dodgems at the fair are JammyDodgers.

And porridge is Poddige - both after DD/DS mispronounced. Been going on years!

This thread has made my day!

DH and I went through a phase of spelling everything out phonetically, so as he used to call me baby on texts and in cards etc he started to call me ba-ab-a-yur. It then escalated into really long conversations about what we were having for dinner etc.

Other people, especially his parents, used to look at us like we were mad which we were/are.

He still tried to do it occasionally but I can't get my brain to compute what he's saying and it's like a really fucked Up game of Chinese whispers.

Still call eachother ba-ab-a-yur though

We have a few! The dogs are the 'Hoobledoodles' or on their own 'hooble' and 'doodle'.
Horse's name vaguely lends itself to the nickname Fred. Which gets variations, from Freddo, Freddles and Freddie Flintoff - which has morphed into "Going to have Mr Flintoff between my thighs for an hour" luckily everyone at the stables knows I'm mad.
DD had a small boob obsession when she was about 2, everything was 'boobies!' We still use it when an argument/discussion cannot be settled.
When asking when dinner will be ready, no matter what my reply DD will respond
"Let me explain to you how the human body works...." A LA Joey from friends.

Lots of Bottom references in our house. "Smashing blouse", "prawns" for pawns, "vodka margerine" at Christmas, and if one of us hears a weird noise from downstairs we'll say "Shall I chuck a Lemsip down the stairs?"
Also "You really are a brick!" from the Comic Strip

My MIL has a collection of sayings which she repeats daily followed by 'As Granny used to say'

We now say them followed by 'As Granny used to say as Granny used to say'

DH always say 7 and 11 with a French accent - no idea why.

After me mishearing the lyrics to Big Bang Theory theme tune, when I ask DS which lessons he had that day he always replies Mad Science History.

If DD or I ask if each other is doing something or going somewhere, the other will reply with 'well I'm not now!' Only makes sense if you've see the relevant episode of Sherlock.

Oh us too Yessica

If DH reads or hears about any form of stealing 'They're looting the shop, they are, they're looting the shop!'

And when we open presents 'It's another brussel sprout'