Ridiculous ‘in jokes’ that you no longer know the provenance of.

[CredulousThickos]

Have just sat down to watch tv with DH. Mock the Week is on. So we’ve both gone, ooh muuuurch the weeeerk and then sang over the theme tune by singing ‘newsoftheworld newsoftheworld newsoftheworld’ over all the actual lyrics.

We must have been doing this for about ten years now and I’ve no idea why.

We also pluralise/apostrophise and butcher celebrity names (Kylie’s Minogue, Liza Starbucks etc) and try to make a long chain of celebrity tenuous and fictional links, like Bruno Mars is Freddie Mercury’s nephew, who in turn is Freddie Krueger’s brother, who is married to Diane Kruger...

Tell me your frankly insane couple or family ramblings to make us feel a bit normaler!

Don't call me Shirley is from Airplane. We use it too. It has earned me many confused looks when I have repeated it to someone who hasn't seen the film.

We also find "Can you call me a cab?" "Okay, you're a cab!" endlessly hilarious but I can no longer remember if that was from Airplane or elsewhere.

Sorry MustObey, I misread that and thought you didn't know the origin of the Shirley line.

Me and stbxh... whenever we got updates on phone about the ftse would say to the other 'oh the ftse is up,!the other would always say 'but how's the Dow jones?'

If we were in good moods questions would be asked about the state of the chineses markets, thought we were hilarious

Loving these!

We all shout "You're the best teacher ever!!!" Whenever any writes a card.

That comes from DS writing it in a classmate's card who was leaving (thinking the card was for his teacher who was also leaving at the end of term).

"I am confusing!" Instead of "I'm confused" which is based on my cringing DH saying it to a woman at work when he thought she was her pregnant boss.

We always say "I love you to the stairs and back!" Thanks to DD once writing it in a card instead of 'stars'.

Loads more, all based on mistakes that one of us has made... we are an unforgiving lot.

Chineses my apologies

Chinese

We talk so much shite to the dog that it's ended up as us suddenly blurting out things like 'ARE you a fat muddy belly?' 'ARRR ya a warty piglet?' and more often just the noises those types of words make, so-complete gibberish that we both somehow understand. 'Flip yaaaa!' means the dog throws herself in her back for adoration.

If we take the wrong turning and have to turn back and go the way we came my mum will always say there’s Big Ben again, from National lampoon!

I can't go to or through Putney without saying "Be this Putney?" as in Blackadder.

If anybody says something will be an hour one of us will always say, "An HOUR?! I haven't got an hour!" a la Lady Tottington in Curse of the Were Rabbit.

Anything Welsh is always greeted by a chorus of, "I'm having trouble with me car-bur-ET-tor" in a terrible exaggerated Welsh accent.

If somebody or something jumps into or lands in water - "He's fallen in the water!" in a high pitched voice like Bluebottle from the Goons (showing my age now...)

And if you've made somebody a cup of tea, you have to announce "TEA!" in a loud strangled voice as you give it to them - it's the law.

With DH and I sometimes if we’re irritated one of us says “I’m in distress!” And the other days “I’m in THIS dress”.

I’ve forgotten where that’s from but we fall about laughing like a pair of lunatics

Not sure why, but me and my brother open every convo with 'yo bruv', 'sup' and basically spend the first few minutes saying hello in as many ways as possible... Then at the end we do the same with goodbyes... 'ciao', 'slatermayyyyte' etc..
No idea how or why it started.

And every now and then my other half will shout 'do' you like dagggs' in a really bad Irish accent... think it's from a film, but has me in hysterics.

Remembered another one, if DH or I say 'I have an itchy back' (which is fairly often for me) the other promptly and without fail will reply 'plastic?'

CoffeeandEnnui the cab line is from Singin' In The Rain

Thingsiseeinmybathroom I think that line might be from Snatch but I don't know!

I also used to say 'see you in a minge', but over the years it's shortened, and now I get out of the car to pop in the shop and shout MINGE to whoever is staying behind.

If you're trying to remember someone's name, dp always shouts IS IT BOB CAROLGEES??

This is possibly one my favourite ever threads

@allthebestnamesareused Stiffy cocky pudding anyone?

No, no, no! It's tiffy stoffee pudding :-)

whenever you see a dalmatian you have to say that you don't spot them often.

Whenever my DH or I go for a poo, we sing a little song from a nativity I once did in a school (I'm a teacher). It goes 'Would you like to seeeee a tiny child, a tiny child? Would you like to seeeee a child in Bethlehem?' (Apologies if this grosses anyone out.)

I can’t do it, has to be followed by ‘Course you can Malcolm’ Vicks advert from 100 years ago. I also work in a school and it confuses the children a lot!

Ordering Chow Mein always has to be accompanied by singing of Prince Charming AND the arm actions - fine when it’s a take away, harder if in a restaurant!

Whenever an emergency vehicle with siren on goes past we all have to say ‘Won’t sell many (ice creams) going at that speed!’

If anyone mentions garlic bread, me and DH try to be the first to say, it's the future.

@MumBod, of course it is! Thank you so much.

I second the dog line being from Snatch. I believe it's from the scene when Mr Statham and Mr Pitt meet

(Apologies for weird bold fail)

DH and I can not mention the fruit mango without saying "where did that man go"

Despite the fact that my brother is in his 30s and me in my 40s we still say'smell you later' when saying goodbye, it's from the theme tune to fresh Prince of bel air.

We're not allowed to say mango in this house except in a ridiculous braying voice like Kenneth Williams and if anyone says it normally we all pretend we don't know what they're saying. Ridiculous really.