To cut a long story short DH has a long history of alcohol abuse, letting me down, staying out etc etc.
He has had more second chances that the entire population of the UK have had hot dinners. 2 weeks ago I discovered he had also been taking drugs. Stupidly I let him persuade me to give things one final chance. The agreement was that he would not drink - at all.
He managed a week and a half. Then yesterday I started getting the familiar signs that he was out drinking. Not responding to messages, not answering his phone etc. He likes to pretend he is "busy in a meeting", but strangely when he is in a genuine meeting he finds time to pop out to let me know what's happening.
Anyway so he came home at 7pm and had clearly been drinking. His mother had arrived that afternoon to stay for a few days. She hasn't seen him (or the kids) for 6 months. She had been waiting for him to come home since 4pm. He came in, tried to deny he had been drinking, whilst proceeding to talk utter shit all evening. MIL had no dinner as I went upstairs and left them to it as I couldn't bear being around him. Him being drunk didn't think to offer her anything. So she ended up in tears and eating a sandwich.
This morning he wants "to talk". It was a "small slip" apparently and he should get credit for trying so hard (an entire week and a half!!). It was a business lunch and it had been planned for months!! (Bullshit, I looked at his emails it was a mate he met in the pub!).
I have told him that he has blown it. That he made the choice to have a drink, and then made the choice to carry on drinking despite knowing that a) he was risking his family and b)his mother was sat at home waiting for him. Knowing his track record she even text him begging him not to ruin the weekend when it became clear he was drinking.
He is now saying that by arguing with him in front of his mother I am going to cause her to have a heart attack and die. That she has already been sick this morning from the stress. I did point out that had he remained sober she wouldn't be witnessing any of this.
So AIBU to not go along with playing happy families until she leaves after the weekend? I've had years of this and have had to cover up the reality of his drinking for so long. I'm now refusing to do it any longer. I'm open and honest that he is an alcoholic. I'm in work, yet again, having had no sleep because of the stress and anxiety he has caused me. I can't eat and feel sick in the pit of my stomach. Should I really be pretending all is fine and ok just because his elderly mother is here??