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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To put my dog down...

149 replies

Kittysparks1 · 21/09/2017 11:20

I'm so sorry about this long post.
I have a dog who has been my best mate for 12 years. I got her at 2 years old after she was abandoned and she had not been trained in the slightest.
Everything has been fine.
About 2 years ago she suddenly started being destructive for no reason I could find. I was living at my mums at the time. She ripped up carpets, ate door frames, chewed up a whole waldrobe and coffee table. Serious destructive behaviour. I tried everything. My vet ran out of options. My mum lost it and kicked us out once her house had been destroyed.
I moved into a rented house. She had a few blips but settled down.
6 weeks ago she has switched. She has destroyed everything in this house and the landlord is selling up and I need to move out. So far I have spent soooo much money repairing things. She even ate a fucking wall.
Now this is the problem. I have not left my house for 5 weeks straight out of fear of her destroying things. Even if I pop to the shop I can guarantee to come back to carnage. She ate the back door last time I dared to leave the house.
I'm going stir crazy. I sit in doors with my baby day in day out. It's seriously affecting my mental health. I just want to go for a walk with him but when I tried to take dog out with the Pram she almost pulled it over going for another dog. I sit here all day crying looking out the window just wishing I could go outside.
I'm convinced the dog has slowly been going senile and this is the result.
Putting her down would kill me.
No one will take her on because she is aggressive with other dogs and cannot be left alone.
Do I just carry on my miserable life and wait for her to die naturally?
Wwyd?

OP posts:

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 21/09/2017 19:58

@Blodplod, I'm so very sorry for your loss, you were very brave, It hurts like hell. 💐

yumchoc · 21/09/2017 20:01

Frankly it's murder if your putting a health animal down if you can't cope with your dog then take her to rspc and hope she is adopted to some who can care for her

SameWitches · 21/09/2017 20:04

I'd just like to say as I see a pp has that I really wouldn't recommend putting the baby in a sling to walk a strong, dog aggressive dog. If there were a fight you'd be in a very very vulnerable position. Far better to use a sturdy pram and a fixed length shortish lead with a sturdy loop so you can push mainly with one hand and have the lead around your wrist.

cremedelashite · 21/09/2017 20:09

I would Pts. Sorry.

Blodplod · 21/09/2017 20:11

Yumchoc... totally and utterly stupid ignorant post you've just written there. Well done. You've onviously never had a pet. If the OP did decide to take it to the rspca you do realise it's likely to spend the rest of its days there? Unlikely to be rehomed. Would you do the same to a family member? The dog is elderly (very), obviously suffering hugely when OP leaves and as this is new behaviour it's pretty obvious it's indicative of a medical problem. Shoving that problem elsewhere is far far far more cruel than putting and old distressed dog to sleep surrounded by a loving family.

Blodplod · 21/09/2017 20:14

@sugarpiehoneyeye.. thank you. Hardest decision I had to make but actually the lovely mn's and my vet helped me hugely in making. My poor horse was in a lot of pain and had given up. She's now galloping free in Rainbow Bridge stuffing her face with loads of lovely lucious grass.

Lucisky · 21/09/2017 20:15

Yum choc, you are an idiot.

JulietNeverMetRomeo · 21/09/2017 20:21

OP unfortunately these type of posts seem to anger a lot of self-righteous people. Only you know what is best for your dog. We can make a judgement but ultimately it's down to you and the vet. I really hope you get this sorted as your MH is really important and needs to take top priority here. If that means you PTS this dog then so be it. This dog had what sounds like a lucky escape all those years ago and you have done your best. Good luck OP.

Pringlemunchers · 21/09/2017 20:22

Why is everyone saying about old age and health deterioration ? Who says this is the problem ?
The dog has always had issues, just a new set of circumstances she needs to adjust to. I really don't think her age has anything to do with this. She has seen a vet.

Pringlemunchers · 21/09/2017 20:30

I think it is easy to get overwhelmed and panic. It is obvious that you love her. Take the time for both of you and make a considered( which you are) decision, exploring every option..

Pringlemunchers · 21/09/2017 20:31

Does she stress when you are in the room or only when left?

maxthemartian · 21/09/2017 20:34

Pringles she's fourteen. She's an old girl and clearly not happy.

Pringlemunchers · 21/09/2017 20:39

She is old, I understand but I think that is not the issue. Her age is not the problem. She is not unwell or distressed because of that.

AllToadsLeadToHome · 21/09/2017 23:05

RSPCA would not keep her or put her up for rehoming. Probably wouldn't even take her in the first place but if they did she would be PTS as too old and unhomeable.

I suggested the sanctuary because the one I know would make her feel loved and she would be treated with the care she needs, it isn't a place with lots of random animals wandering about, they are all loved and their individual needs are taken care of. They are a family and are treated as such and if they have special needs they are looked after.

Carolinesbeanies · 22/09/2017 02:32

Dear me OP, dont even think twice. New baby in the house, 14 years old, shes not happy (destructive behaviour isnt just a tick), absolutely PTS. Without a doubt. Youve given her a great life and you owe her a great exit. Not another year or 2 of stress, never mind the risks involved.

Alittlepotofrosie · 22/09/2017 06:39

in what possible way would it be in the best interests of the dog to be rehomed?

hopelesslyaddicted · 22/09/2017 09:46

Echo sentiments on the sling, no way with a strong dog. I have a large breed and when she wants to she can drag me off my feet.

Branleuse · 22/09/2017 14:07

Yumchoc, ODFOD. If Op hands the dog to the RSPCA it will get put down anyway, but without his beloved owner being there for him at the end when he needs it

OrangeFluff · 22/09/2017 15:31

This happened with my sister's dog. He was about 14 too. He would howl, chew furniture and deficate even when left alone for 5 minutes. He had never caused a problem like that over the decade or more she'd had him before then.

The vet said that due to his age, his hearing was poor and his sight was failing, which was causing him to be confused and panicked when alone.

As a result he was put into doggy daycare whenever my sister or her DP needed to leave him alone. In the long term they were very lucky, my sister's DP had retired relatives who offered to take him in. He spent his last year of life there as a content old man. My sister and DP visited regularly for long walks and continued to pay for him.

Definitely get his eyes sorted if possible, it may be the reason for his distress. Sorry OP no other advice, but hope you find a solution soon.

Primrose06 · 22/09/2017 15:50

you have so much to deal with .
I know how attached you get to your dogs.
There are pet behavioural specialists and I feel that possibly a visit from one may through some light on the matter. First get the dog a check up to make sure no underlying health problems.
Wishing you all the best.

IkaBaar · 22/09/2017 16:11

We have a rescue dog who had similar issues when young. We also used to foster dogs.

Have you seen if a behaviourist will give you free advice over the phone? One gave us lots of advice over several phone calls go free- it was for a foster dog though.

The behaviourist we saw about our ones separation anxiety advised trying not to have periods of great excitement then lows when left alone. What I'm trying to say is a walk to exhaustion in the evening might not be best!

Its not unusual for a dog to be unsettled before and after a new baby. They also tend to be very protective of you both. They will also worry more when you are out.

Have you tried a yellow lead, bandana etc?

AllToadsLeadToHome · 22/09/2017 19:05

NAWT (National Animal Welfare Trust) have a place in Berkshire for oldies to live out their days if they are not rehomed.

Take a look at their site, they have a no-kill policy, they also have some difficult dogs. Your dog might be happier living with one person and no distractions from children.

This is not the sanctuary I mentioned earlier, it is another place I support.

www.nawt.org.uk/

Alittlepotofrosie · 22/09/2017 22:13

@AllToadsLeadToHome

Please can you explain why you believe its in the dogs best interests to be ripped from the only family she's ever known, to an unfamiliar place with all her heath problems just to prolong her life for anther few months/year?

AllToadsLeadToHome · 22/09/2017 23:12

I don't believe she would be 'ripped' from the family, I am making suggestions for the OP to consider as they know their pet and are struggling to make a decision. Dog could be happy in retirement if the other suggestions don't work.

I know someone that takes in unhomeable dogs rather than ending their lives and I have seen the changes. And yes I am aware that not all dogs can be rehomed or kept alive.

I am pointing out the option for the OP to think about, you know, to try to help because I know how hard it is to have a difficult pet.

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