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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DH to come with us to baby immunisation appointment?

164 replies

SureJan · 20/09/2017 07:45

Baby has her 8 week immunisations this week. I've asked DH to come to the appointment with us, as I'm worried that baby will be inconsolable & I could do with the moral support!
He says he doesn't want to take time off work for it when I can take her on my own - he'd have to take it as either annual leave or unpaid leave.
AIBU to insist that he comes with me? Or am I right to feel a bit annoyed with him, because baby is as much his responsibility as she is mine?
Or am I being far too PFB about the whole thing?

OP posts:
SoupyNorman · 20/09/2017 07:47

PFB, sorry.

Your baby will be fine.

Sleepinghooty · 20/09/2017 07:47

I suspect you are going to get both views on this, but honestly just go on your own.

Yes, you might be a bit teary but it will be over quickly and there will be things you need your DH for far more than this.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 20/09/2017 07:48

Please don't worry. Yes your baby will cry but they do recover quickly. Best get it over with with minimal fuss and cuddles afterwards.

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 20/09/2017 07:48

YABU a little bit. You don't want to be 'those people' who are super anxious and turn up to everything hand in hand. It's a bit much.

jaseyraex · 20/09/2017 07:49

It's really not that big of a deal. I wouldn't expect someone to come if they were working. Majority of kids are none the wiser, cry for a second and then it's forgotten! Realistically he won't be able to take a day off every time she has jabs or is a bit ill or has a doctors appointment etc etc. I think you need to get used to doing these things on your own, she will be fine!

MehMehAndMeh · 20/09/2017 07:49

YABU and PFB I'm afraid. You can take her. Follow the advice you are given and have calpol at hand. The crying rarely lasts more than a minute or so and you are asked to wait in case of a reaction.

BigGreenOlives · 20/09/2017 07:50

I fed mine as they were given their shots, seemed to work. It seems a waste of a day or ½ day of annual leave to me. Wouldn't you rather do something more fun together when your baby is a bit bigger with the time?

HakunaStigmata · 20/09/2017 07:50

Bless you, OP, but get over yourself.

BrutusMcDogface · 20/09/2017 07:50

Well, I cried when my pfb had her first ones and my dp came (through choice and luckily he was able to!) but if he wasn't around I'd have just gone without him. He went away for work when she was only a few days old.

I totally agree that there will be other times when you need him more.

Flowers for you!

NerrSnerr · 20/09/2017 07:51

Only one parent needs to go. The baby will cry, you will cuddle. Two of you can't cuddle the baby at once.

NicolasFlamel · 20/09/2017 07:51

Yeah PFB. You'll both be fine. Quick jab, tears, cuddle/breast/bottle and all good again. No point wasting a day off work for it really.

BakedBeans47 · 20/09/2017 07:52

Yes you are BU. She won't be that "inconsolable" that you can't deal with it on your own. Hmm

ChasedByBees · 20/09/2017 07:52

I was the most PFB of parents but even I agree it'll be OK.

PansyGiraffe · 20/09/2017 07:53

Yabu, but pfb so we do understand. But still, DO NOT make him take time off for this. It will be fine.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 20/09/2017 07:53

DS had his 8 week jabs last week, I must admit I found it really distressing and, embarrassingly, got quite tearful (which I'm blaming on sleep deprivation!). I wished I'd had DH there but it was far more useful that he took the next morning off to let me sleep as I was up all night fretting about DS's high temperature and he fussed and wouldn't sleep in his cot, only on me so I had to stay awake!

UnmentionedElephantDildo · 20/09/2017 07:53

I think it might be better if you make a new appointment for when DH can do them.

And then you do not go at all.

Your level of anxiety is totally disproportionate and it's a really bad thing if it's transmitted to DC.

Catastrophising that she'll be inconsolable, feeling unable to cope alone, are not healthy symptoms in you.

Friendlylightupbear · 20/09/2017 07:53

I feel a bit of a hypocrite saying this, because my DH came along when DD had her first set of jabs, but you really don't need him there. I can understand you wanting him there, but your DC will be fine. Just a few seconds of crying, lots of cuddles then all better Smile

shhhfastasleep · 20/09/2017 07:53

Do you have a fear of needles yourself which means you are transferring how you, as an adult, would feel about the jab onto your baby? If that’s the case, maybe your partner should take the baby instead of you.
In this scenario, babies need a calm parent and plenty of cuddles. Calpol does the trick.
Hope it goes ok.

Oysterbabe · 20/09/2017 07:54

PFB.
It'll be fine, DD cried for about 30 seconds and she's always been a drama queen.

Piffpaffpoff · 20/09/2017 07:54

PFB. We've all even there. I know you can't see it now, but you will look back and laugh (or squirm in horror/embarrassment)

Go on your own. Baby will cry, you will cuddle them, they will stop crying. I cried too at at least one of mine getting theirs. It's not pleasant but it's over quickly.

BabsGanoush · 20/09/2017 07:54

Get real. There are plenty of people out there who have no choice.

Anecdoche · 20/09/2017 07:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 20/09/2017 07:55

PPs are right though, it's FAR more upsetting for the parents than it is for the baby - 5 minutes later DS was happily feeding then settled for a nap. Don't forget to bring your Calpol!

formerbabe · 20/09/2017 07:55

Yabu. I'm sure she'll be fine. My dc cried for a few seconds but soon calmed down with a cuddle and a feed. It's not as awful as you think it will be. It's over very quickly. I agree it's better to save any annual leave for times you might really need him or to do something nice together.

BarbarianMum · 20/09/2017 07:56

Hah! I took my mum with me for moral support. First needle went in baby and my mum burst into tears. After that, I took him myself.

You are being pfb but understandably so.