Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

AIBU?

To want DH to come with us to baby immunisation appointment?

164 replies

SureJan · 20/09/2017 07:45

Baby has her 8 week immunisations this week. I've asked DH to come to the appointment with us, as I'm worried that baby will be inconsolable & I could do with the moral support!
He says he doesn't want to take time off work for it when I can take her on my own - he'd have to take it as either annual leave or unpaid leave.
AIBU to insist that he comes with me? Or am I right to feel a bit annoyed with him, because baby is as much his responsibility as she is mine?
Or am I being far too PFB about the whole thing?

OP posts:

Report

waterrat · 20/09/2017 08:29

Comically PFB. And why would you be annoyed with him? Your maternity leave ((or his if he had taken time off instead)) is so you can look after baby....not sexist just a general division of labour.

Spudlet · 20/09/2017 08:30

I think dh came to the one year old ones, because ds was getting very strong and wiggly and I did wonder if he might escape (though it was fine in the end). We made a day of it and went out for lunch. He had lots of leave left at the end of the year though

But honestly, it will be ok on your own. She'll have an outraged shriek for a moment then once you cuddle her it will all be forgotten in a moment. I always drove home the long way afterwards to get ds to sleep - the nurse said a car seat would stop him knocking his injection sites so it seemed a good idea to her.

waterrat · 20/09/2017 08:31

I breast fed while doing the jabs and babies didnt notice. .

Sandsnake · 20/09/2017 08:33

A minority of people on here are being twats. There's no need for the 'get over yourself' type comments. Remember - OP is eight weeks post partum and probably swamped with hormones. It's one thing to tell her she will be fine on her own (she will be) and quite another to mock her for wanting her partner - or worse - implying she's somehow not coping.

OP - I'd actually agree with others though that you should go on your own as it's just not worth your partner wasting the leave on. I totally get how worried you are - I was similarly upset at the prospect of 8 week jabs and I'm usually very matter of fact about medical things. Your baby will be fine, make sure you're stocked up on Calpol and ready to shove milk in their face as soon as it's finished (or during if the nurse allows it). All the best

GinIsIn · 20/09/2017 08:33

I don't think there's any right or wrong thing. My DS had a bad reaction to the first ones which landed us in A&E. when the third ones came round, you can be sure I made DH come with me!! He reacted badly to those too, to the extent that the doctors aren't giving him the 1 year jabs, he has to have a delayed vaccination schedule.

I'm not trying to scare you, just to say that it isn't a piece of cake for all babies and some of the sneerier posters on here would do well to bear that in mind. If you want him there, then you want him there. Nothing wrong with that!

Helbelle75 · 20/09/2017 08:34

I'm a ftm as well and was dreading the jabs as I'm needle phobic, but I kept calm for my dd. Fed through the jabs and sang to her to calm her down. She was actually fine . Cried for about a minute then all was ok.
Hope everything goes well. Plan on a sofa afternoon.

CherriesInTheSnow · 20/09/2017 08:36

I am very PFB with my DD and we did both go to all her immunisations..

If I had something like a scan I would book the whole day off and we would do something nice after too so the day isn't wasted, is that an option?

LuchiMangsho · 20/09/2017 08:38

It will be fine. My son cries more when I put the babygrow over his head (clearly a violation of his human rights) than at the jabs. Or when the GP took his temperature last time and he nearly bit her hand off. Instead of thinking that you are taking your baby to the GP to be poked, think of how you are protecting her against disease. My Dad has polio and so I am more matter of fact about it. Calpol. Cuddles. It will be fine.
I took both kids for long walks in the buggy. Actually the first vaccine makes them quite sleepy. We had 36 hours of relative quiet.

Hollyhop17 · 20/09/2017 08:38

I dont think you are being pfb at all. You are a new mum and its hard. I have a severe needle phobia so my DH came to the 8 week ones and will be coming to the rest. I think you need to do what is best for you. This is quite personal I think and despite this thread suggesting otherwise, no right or wrong answer.

LuchiMangsho · 20/09/2017 08:41

DS1 came for DS2's vaccines and kept telling him (DS1 is nearly 6)...'I got these too and I don't remember it so you will be okay, baby!' It was a nice reality check as well.

SureJan · 20/09/2017 08:42

I'm going to go on my own with her, I think if DH comes with me I'm just delaying the inevitable time when I do need to do something like this on my own.
I'm coping fine, I just get a bit nervous about doing things with DD for the first time - once I've done them I tend to laugh at how daft I was, I'm sure this will be the same.

OP posts:

Msqueen33 · 20/09/2017 08:42

I did all of mine alone including taking my disabled children. I can understand you're maybe a bit nervous but it isn't something I'd want my dh to waste time off work on. Good luck it'll be fine.

AtHomeDadGlos · 20/09/2017 08:43

First time of anything with a newborn (especially your first child) is hard! Easy for some to forget about that.

My wife and I both went along but only because we were both free on the day. I sat around like a spare wheel while mum cuddled DD.

Neither of us were nervous though - better a few minutes of discomfort than contracting meningitis etc. Then we'd have been beside ourselves.

KitKat1985 · 20/09/2017 08:43

I think you've had a couple of harsh responses on here considering you are an anxious first time mum. But yeah, I'm with the majority of the other posters here in saying it's not really a two person job. I've got two DDs now and the vaccination appointments generally only take 5 minutes. Your baby will probably cry for a minute or two afterwards and then forget all about it. It's not really necessary for your DH to take time off work for them. It'll be fine honestly. xx

mirime · 20/09/2017 08:44

DS was fine after his first jabs for about three hours, then he screamed for the next four unless he was being carried about and rocked. DH was working late as well so I was on my own and that was distressing.

Point being you don't when or if your baby will be upset. Just make sure you have some calpol handy!

QuilliamCakespeare · 20/09/2017 08:44

YABU. It's a 2 second jab and baby will probably cry briefly then be fine. Feed her straight afterwards for comfort and by the time she's finished she'll have completely forgotten. Getting DH to waste a day off work is ridiculous.

SupermanStoleMyPants · 20/09/2017 08:47

Op I would ring and check your dc can have the jabs. I had to delay with ds as he had a cold.

Spudlet · 20/09/2017 08:48

It does get easier, honest

It's a bit like, if you had an empty bucket and put a cup of water in, that one cup of water would make a huge difference to how much water was in the bucket. But once there were 100 cups of water in there, one more would make little difference. Every time you do something new with your baby, that's another cup of water in the bucket. Before you know it, it'll be full and new things will hardly bother you at all.

MyOtherNameIsAFordFiesta · 20/09/2017 08:50

It's stressful the first time because you don't know what to expect or how your baby will react. But, honestly, it's not nearly as bad as you expect it to be. The nurse will be used to crying babies and crying mums.

Take Calpol and give it straight afterwards. If you're breastfeeding, ask if you can feed while baby is getting the jabs (or at least straight after), as that helps too. If formula feeding, bring a bottle with you.

You'll be ok, don't worry.

And don't worry about being PFB. There's nothing wrong with that, although it's flung round here like an insult. As long as you learn from this experience, there's nothing wrong with being a bit PFB about it.

Good luck! Enjoy baby snuggles once you're done!

Snog · 20/09/2017 08:57

Maybe give the calpol 30 mins before the jab rather than after it so it's working from the start

Snog · 20/09/2017 08:59

If you are suffering from anxiety maybe self refer for some CBT to help yourself as anxiety can really take away from your enjoyment of life

pastabest · 20/09/2017 09:00

I can guarantee that for all the 'big girl pants / pfb ' posters (and sorry but I'm one too ) there are also just as many people reading this and not posting who felt the same as you and took DP or someone else along with them.

One of my friends outright refused to go and sent her DP on his own because she found it so distressing. Another always took her mum with her and her mum had to hold the baby whilst it was having the jabs.

I actually started looking forward to DDs jabs, although I hated that they caused her short term pain she always slept through the night she had them. They are the ONLY times she has ever slept through since she was born

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Wonderflonium · 20/09/2017 09:00

We have two jabs at that appointment here (Denmark). Don't know if it's the same in the UK.
Anyway, for the first one, she was a bit ((sadface)) and recovered quickly after a drink of milk. The second one stung a bit more and she did a red faced cry really briefly, for like 10 seconds. Had some milk. Then she was totally fine, like it never happened.

I'd built it up in my head as being something major but it was almost nothing to her. Even the fever she had afterwards was fine, we just camped out on my rocking chair and she had an open milk bar all night.

If you're using a dummy, have your baby suck it when the needle goes in: it's pain relief.

Spudlet is totally bang on the money.

TammySwansonTwo · 20/09/2017 09:02

Hard to say as we have twins - husband has been to all the jabs (and is coming to the 12 month ones in an hour) as they are distressed and I need the help. With one I think I would be fine.

butterflyparadise · 20/09/2017 09:02

I totally get where you are coming from. I went to the first one of my children's immunisations but I didn't like it so DH takes them himself from now on but he can do this with his job, he doesn't need to take AL or anything.

If that was the case then I would go myself. I'm just fortunate that he is able to and I take full advantage as I'm a wuss!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.