To wonder how the hell I'll be able to give birth when I have no pain threshold whatsoever and the hips of a pubescent boy?

[AngeloMysterioso]

DH wants to start TTC reasonably soon and while I do want to have children I am terrified, and I do mean terrified of childbirth.

I am useless with pain. I have a few very small tattoos and I nearly passed out with them, and they were done relatively quickly. I don't know how on earth I'd manage with hours of labour pain and whatever comes afterwards.

I also have extremely narrow violin hips. I'm talking size 8 and have to replace jeans every few months because of chub rub chafing through them narrow. God only knows how a baby would fit through them.

Would elective C section be my only real option? I know it seems bonkers to even be thinking about that now but I don't know if I'll be able to start TTC without a clear picture of how I'm going to handle the end result!

You can have an elective C section. Recovery is painful though.

Speak to your doctor, or have a chat with a midwife, they will tell you the facts.

Childbirth isn't something to be terrified of, you just need to learn a bit more about it.
Slim people with narrow hips have babies every day.

You can have lots of drugs for the birth itself (which isn't necessarily painful all the time - when people talk about 36 hour labours, it doesn't necessarily mean that they were in agony for 36 hours straight)

You can have lots of drugs for the recovery, particularly if you don't breastfeed.

Narrow hips don't necessarily mean a difficult delivery, though

How do the other women in your family do it, assuming that your hips are hereditary? I pretty much knew I was in for a c-section because babies are late and enormous in our family

My friend, who is tiny and small of hip married a hulking brute with an enormous head. Her doctor basically said, "not a hope in hell" and both hers were sections. But you can try and see what happens. There is a middle ground between planned section and emergency section.

14 year old girls can and do give birth. I'm sure you will be fine.

I mean in terms of the narrow hips

Drugs will be your friend. I had an epidural. I slept through most of it 👍

If you really don't want children you should let your DH know.

I was size 6/8 pre-baby - couldn't figure out how on earth a baby would fit through my hips, but they do. Hips widen, ligaments lengthen, etc etc. Clever thing, the human body!

And tattoo pain is totally different to birth pain. Do you get period cramps? That's a better comparison tbh although it's still not quite in the right area.

PS - the end result isn't the birth. I know what you mean, but really, it's a few hours out of a whole lifetime! :)

Your sound like me, I have tiny hips and don't do pain.... yet I gave birth 4 times with no Pain relief what so ever

You will be fine

On the pain issue. I am really really wimpy with pain. DH admitted after DD was born that he was worried because a splinter will cause me to cry and whinge. But I was awesome in labour. No idea why. Stoic and calm and in control.

Unfortunately it has not lasted and a splinter the other day caused me to wince and complain and act like someone was chopping my leg off.

Drugs. You just deal with it. I don't think there are many people that aren't scared of what the pain will be like.
Small hips don't necessarily mean a difficult childbirth. Your pelvis and ligaments move to let a baby through the way your body is supposed to most of the time.

I had a section two days ago and you'd never know. No worse than a period pain recovery.

When I had my first, I was a very small size 8 and pre-pregnancy I'd struggled to stay over 7 stone. Labour was 5 hours from start...tummy ache...to finish, and no tearing. I thought it was going to be agonising torment for hours on end, turned out more like trying to push a truck uphill, hard work but manageable. If you are terrified, talk to your GP about ways to manage the fear, and remember it is entirely your decision.

C Section. Why is it sometimes looked down upon?

If men gave birth it would be an almost 100 % C Section take up.

When I was pregnant, I spoke with a woman with the same fear about natural birth. I was the opposite and was terrified of having a C-Section. She elected for the CS and we both ended up with what we wanted

Small hips don't automatically mean a difficult labour. You're well within your rights to ask for a c section but the recovery period is meant to be much harder, if you're ok with that then speak with your gp.

I did feel for the CS woman across from me right after I gave birth. Im not sure what drugs they give to help with recovery but she was always in tears with the pain and struggled to hold her boy and BF (I think there was more to it). I had a chat with her and she went off for a shower on her own whilst I babysat. - shower cubicals are tiny and she was banned on having a bath

My obstetrician said that almost all mothers have a baby that fits their build, so you would not have the same build baby as a mother who has size 14 hips and is 6ft tall.

It is very rare to be too narrow to give birth, and anyway it is not about hip-width but how they are tilted/the way they are angled/inner width etc.

In terms of pain, it is not like normal pain (a cut, a tattoo, or breaking a bone), it is like strong period pain (cramps), which in my case was actually totally fine and ok. You don't get many people saying that labour was a doddle for them, because it comes across as smug and insensitive to those that had a more difficult experience.

I don't look down on sections at all! But I know that hospitals also don't just give them out to any woman who wants one. The women in my Mum's family are all petite but have hips far wider than mine. Doesn't help that my Mum's been telling me what a struggle I'm in for thanks so my 'snake hips' as she calls them although she's also been telling me I'll be an elderly primigravida since I was about 27

I really do want children.

Eamonn, no way! C-section is abdominal surgery, and much harder/longer to recover from.

I was size 4 & anorexic when I gave birth, you will be fine you just manage to do it.

I used to teach teenage Mums, some were tiny but all managed to give birth - very often with minimal or no tearing! Some had c-sections, however, these were not due to hip size but other complications. Vast majority managed fine, despite being children who claimed to have low pain thresholds