To wonder how the hell I'll be able to give birth when I have no pain threshold whatsoever and the hips of a pubescent boy?

[AngeloMysterioso]

DH wants to start TTC reasonably soon and while I do want to have children I am terrified, and I do mean terrified of childbirth.

I am useless with pain. I have a few very small tattoos and I nearly passed out with them, and they were done relatively quickly. I don't know how on earth I'd manage with hours of labour pain and whatever comes afterwards.

I also have extremely narrow violin hips. I'm talking size 8 and have to replace jeans every few months because of chub rub chafing through them narrow. God only knows how a baby would fit through them.

Would elective C section be my only real option? I know it seems bonkers to even be thinking about that now but I don't know if I'll be able to start TTC without a clear picture of how I'm going to handle the end result!

drugs, drugs and hypnobirth, more drugs, DRUGS!
C-section is not all it's cracked up to be.

Don't forget that your body is designed to give birth, so it's not all that bad. Don't get scared by the worst stories you hear, they still are the exception. Look at Kate Middleton, she was completely fine after her 2 babies.

Once you are pregnant, the actual birth seem much less of a big deal.

I'm tiny. Like 5.7 stone. Going up to 7stone max when pregnant.

I managed a natural birth with both of my children on G&A only.

I tore badly but I managed it.

I won't have any more kids now but if I did, I would have an epidural.

Take all the drugs you can get. We don't repair broken limbs with no painkillers, birthing a baby should be the same

Your ligaments stretch when you're pregnant and your hips widen - honestly.

Also the pain in labour is a weird thing - it's not a panic inducing thing so much because you know it's meant to hurt and there are drugs available if you need them!!! Also you know you have to get through it - there's an end I sight iyswim?

I'm not good with pain but have had 2 babies - one of whom was 9lb+ and back to back and induced - it wasn't overly enjoyable but I managed!!! My first labour with ds wasn't even that sore - like a sort of moderate toothache.

I wouldn't want a csection due to the recovery.

Plan for a birth with good pain relief though. I still found the first bit of labour very painful, but you get a break between contractions so they are bearable. I found a tens machine brilliant for this bit. Then gas and air as well once in hospital.

You can have an epidural from about 4cm. Then you can rest/sleep until you are fully dilated. I found the epi excellent as I could feel the births but had no pain.

Size 8 pre birth. One of my DC was 8lb 4. Normal delivery, no tearing.

Haha. Drugs and sections are a thing, and no, sections are not necessarily harder to recover from than VB at all. Pay zero attention to that claim.

But as others have pointed out, it's not just about your pelvis. Mine's wide and I've an arse like a barn door, yet my births were much harder than some boyishly figured women I know. It's about the baby's positioning as much as anything else.

You can't just expect an epidural. When I was in labour the midwife led section was the only bit free as they were extremely busy and there was no one available to give me an epidural.

It's common to feel this way prior to conceiving, so you're not odd for thinking along these lines.

You will be fine. The baby will come out of you. If it's medically inadvisable to deliver vaginally you will be given a c-section. Ask your mum or aunts or other female relatives what they did? Also is your DH of a similar build as you? (Asking because if he is like a 6' 6" basketball player you may just immediately be having such a large baby that c-sec is inevitable).

Also you'd be stunned at how much your body changes and loosens and readied itself for birth; and how quickly everything shrinks back after birth too. I was often privately worried that my vagina would just be like a loose cave after birth (and it was slightly looser the first time we had sex post partum at 4 weeks or so but tightened up to earlier levels soon after).

I wouldn't let it put you off TTC. But definitely make an appointment with a medical professional if you still feel concerned about this!

One of my friends is tiny - properly petite, tiny hands and feet and no hips. She buys kids clothes to wear as most of the petite adult ranges still swamp her.

3 DC, all delivered vaginally with no issues. Honestly she was up and about like a bloody jack in the box after each one. She admits she's very lucky - has babies like she is shelling peas. I have another friend who is renowned for having 'childbearing hips' - who ended up with a venthouse delivery as her DS got stuck. The size of your hips does not necessarily dictate what kind of experience you will have!

TBH I would tell your Mum that constantly going on about your 'snake hips' is unhelpful. Unless she is Mystic fucking Meg then she has zero idea about what kind of delivery you'll have and how difficult it will be.

Have never been entirely sure of the hips thing. I am wide-hipped and had a long, difficult labour. A friend who had her baby the same time as me, and at the same age, is tiny and slim-hipped but had a very straightforward eight-hour birth. So you can't be sure.

NICE guidelines say that women should be able to request a planned caesarean. You may find your hospital unsympathetic, though - they are under pressure to reduce the caesarean rate. Although people are right to say that there are risks attached to caesareans, a planned caesarean is safer than an emergency one, and there are of course risks to a vaginal birth, including tearing.

I am very small and was delighted when my first was transverse lie and they said I needed a section! Came out singing for joy! Sadly he turned.

Anyway, I just maxed on drugs and it was all fine. Told my partner not to come back without drugs! Diamorphine and I was talking zodiac signs then an epidural and although I needed a manual removal of the placenta all was good!

Please look into getting over this as a c section is no fun. I've had all sorts of problems after mine and it was an emergency to save the life of my baby.

I was terrified of childbirth so had two elective sections. I had very high blood pressure throughout so was in and out of hospital.
They are fine. Recovery is minimal, my scar is minimal, and it worked for me.

ELCS - minimal pain (and that was mostly trapped wind!).

From several threads on mn, in a lot of cases being given an elective c section without valid medical reasons isn't as easy as making your demands heard. It is dependent on the hospital policy and Consultant/medical staff. There was a lady on mn the other day who was forced to labor for days before the birth ended in an emcs. Having had both a C section and vaginally birth, Csection recovery is fine while on heavy meds in hospital for the first few days after the op but it can be a very different story when you're sent home with a newborn and a couple of tramadol to ease the pain. It is not always the easy way out and it takes a long time to heal and recover. Of course there are exceptions to every rule so some think cs is easier than a vaginal birth. If you have a vaginal birth ask for the epidural early. It really takes the edge of the contractions. Be well informed before making your decision to get pregnant.

I don't think there is any relationship between the size of your hips on the outside / trouser size and ease / speed of childbirth. Like another poster on this thread, I wear a size 8 in trousers and have given birth naturally without pain relief 4 times. All were quick labours (2-5 hours). I know plenty of women with so called childbearing hips who have struggled with labour.

Snooze: " If you have a vaginal birth ask for the epidural early."

But you're very reliant on the hospital agreeing. Many midwives will tell you that you can't have an epidural because there isn't an anaesthetist available, or labour isn't far enough advanced, or because the epidural will slow labour down.

If the mw's measure you as being big for the number of weeks they will offer additional scans and if the baby is estimated to be on the large side then you will probably be offered a section.
Ask for all the drugs you can in hospital and an epidural.

You won't know how big you'll grow your baby until it happens unfortunately.
My husband is 6foot and I'm 5foot6. I was almost 8lb at birth and DH was 7and a half pounds at birth.
I produced a 6lb 5.5oz which was 11 days late and a 6lb 1oz on due date. I looked massive both times as I was only a size 8 and put on nearly 3 stone. But my body just doesn't grow big babies.

I have a friend who is absolutely tiny!
She has literally popped 4 kids out without a single stitch or issue
I have small hips and was worried but it was absolutely fine! My baby was average 7lb4 and no one could believe he came out of me as I'm so small
Size 6, 7stone.

But c sections are of course an option aswell! Don't let it stop you!

I agree with Ruby Winterstorm. I shy away from labor discussions as mine was fine. I spent most of it in a birth pool in the dining room with a bit of gas and air. In the end I got chilly and got out, finally gave birth on a bed with nothing. Apparently the labor was from midnight to 7:50 am the next morning, I had gas and air between 3am and 5:30 am. I had 2 glasses of apple juice and got out of the pool twice to pee (don't ask me why I did that!) My husband says it was boring and the CD I'd prepared went round on a loop. I was zoned out, I don't remember it hurting (although I do remember the sweep she gave me to get it going being painful and the exam after with a retained placenta being insanely painful for a moment). I know all the details from the report I got after from the miwdife. I'd swear it was about 30 minutes and no-one remembered to put my CD on.

In contrast I prolapsed a disc in my back in October and it was so painful I blacked out and ended up in an Ambulance. I remember arguing that it must be something worse as I thought I had a high pain threshold... Apparently I don't, it was just my labor didn't hurt much.

Honestly - it can be horrid but then it can be fine. I am not big hipped and I was having my first. There are epidurals that completely remove all sensation. If you are worried plan on one of those.

You've got to remember normal pain is horrible and is just painful pain. Giving birth is exciting because of the end result obviously. So whilst you feel the pain it just isn't the same as normal pain.

It can't be too bad or there would never be any second children.

Size 8 is a normal healthy size

If you came on and said you had 20 inch hips I'd have some sympathy but plenty of women and even your girls manage it fine. Get over yourself.

I had an epidural. They gave me full use of the clicky thing so I could zap it every time I was due more - was fucking fabulous. Pushed DD out without so much as an 'ouch' Didn't even feel the needle going in. The biggest annoyance was the drip in my hand for fluids - I'm a bit squeamish about IV's around the hand/arm/wrist area! Bleaurgh!

If you have a genuine fear of childbirth (tokophobia) you will be able to request an elective caesarean.

True that epidural denial is a thing. I'd suggest requesting an anaesthesic consult during the pregnancy.