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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say 'no, DH, you didn't 'do the washing'?

81 replies

CredulousThickos · 18/09/2017 08:02

I freely admit our laundry pile is usually a disaster area. But last week I had a big push and got the bulk of it washed, dried and put away.

The remainder was sorted into two bags, one dark and one light, and I put Friday's work and school stuff in it in the evening.

Saturday morning I was lounging in bed and DH came up and made a big show of saying he was going to put the dark load on 'so he had all his work stuff ready'. There was ONE of his work t shirts in there as the rest had all been done.

Later that day I took the load out and hung it up.

Roll onto this morning and he comes downstairs with a flourish. Grabs his clean and dry work shirt and says 'oh it's no nice to be this organised, I'm really glad I put that wash on, I might start doing that every weekend'.

AIBU to think he's a thunderstealing cheeky fucker? All my effort clearly pales into significance because the Man of The House had put stuff in the machine and switched it on.

Grr.

OP posts:

Runssometimes · 18/09/2017 08:04

Call his bluff. Take him up on his offer. Laundry is now his responsibility since he's so good at it.

Turneeps · 18/09/2017 08:07

Praise him, say well done and what a great help he was doing the washing. Just like a dog or a toddler, positive reinforcement works with adults too!
He will be more likely to do more washing in the future!!

wobblywonderwoman · 18/09/2017 08:10

That's a joke..

I wouldn't touch his work stuff after this .. See him finish the job

44PumpLane · 18/09/2017 08:11

YANBU thinking it's massively irritating for him to take credit- putting stuff in the machine and turning it on is the easiest bit of the laundry!

The bit no one wants to do it the taking out of wet clothes, hanging up, subsequently taking down of clothes and then folding and putting away.

Putting in the machine takes about 3 seconds!

rixed · 18/09/2017 08:12

Jesus Christ.

elfinpre · 18/09/2017 08:12

YANBU. Remind him that doing the laundry means:

Sorting/picking random items from floor
Washing
Taking it out (promptly) and hanging it up/drying
Folding it neatly/putting on hanger/ironing if necessary
Putting it away

One of those jobs where leaving it half done, or only going up to stage 2, is no help at all.

StarfishSeahorse · 18/09/2017 08:13

Slow clap the fucker out of the house.

happilyeverafta · 18/09/2017 08:13

Forum

Tiredmum100 · 18/09/2017 08:17

Oh don't get me started. Feeling pretty annoyed with my husband this morning and washing clothes is part of it. Feeling really taken for granted lately. YANBU!

GrumpyOldBag · 18/09/2017 08:18

This is a male trait.

My DH demands praise for every little tiny thing he does around the house.

The stuff I do just gets taken for granted.

I have started to turn the tables on him. "Did you notice what a great job I did with the vacuuming yesterday" I said to him just now. He looked quite surprised

UnicornSparkles1 · 18/09/2017 08:18

Next time, leave his stuff soaking wet inside the washing machine. See how long it takes him to cotton on. We could have a sweepstake!

BlindAssassin1 · 18/09/2017 08:22

Call his bluff. Take him up on his offer. Laundry is now his responsibility since he's so good at it.

This. Then when he inevitably does not do it and he's floundering around for a clean pair of pants on Monday morning, you can in all honesty say 'oh, I thought you were doing it now'.

BikeRunSki · 18/09/2017 08:24

I was away with DS this weekend (Cub camp, I'm a leader). Got home 4pm yesterday. DH said "I've washed the school uniforms". At 7am this morning I realised that he really did mean "washed" not "laundered". 10 little white shirts,10 grey shorts etc wet in the washing machine.....

elfinpre · 18/09/2017 08:24

I think it's common with men who grew up with their mums doing everything.

I always notice that when DH does something he requests help- emptying the bin or taking small items into the loft. So instead of being able to get on with something else, and two people doing two different tasks efficiently, we end up with two people doing a one person task.

kaytee87 · 18/09/2017 08:28

Sorry grumpy it's not a male trait, it's a lazy fucker trait.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 18/09/2017 08:33

This has reminded me of some bloke's supposedly jokey article somewhere once, about how to make a virtuous point to her indoors if you ever lift a finger round the house.
One thing was to do a bit of vacuuming, and then say e.g., 'Goodness me, it's been an awful long time since anyone vacuumed under that (piece of furniture), hasn't it?'

Appuskidu · 18/09/2017 08:33

Next time, leave his stuff soaking wet inside the washing machine. See how long it takes him to cotton on. We could have a sweepstake!

This!

Original poster

CredulousThickos · 18/09/2017 08:33

I would just like to say, in the sense of fairness, that he does work very hard and I'm a SAHM with older kids so I don't expect him to do anything much around the house. And when I worked he did at least half.

But I'm not giving up my sense of pride at tackling the laundry mountain because of his two minute contribution. The fucker.

OP posts:

user1494187262 · 18/09/2017 08:35

What's the problem?
Just let him do it.

EternalOptimistToo · 18/09/2017 08:36

Call his bluff.
Tell him that yes he is titallynright and therefore the whole washing is now his responsibility at the weekend.
Then leave him to it.
And don't do as much washing as yu can during the week.

I suspect he'll change his tune.....

And btw this is NOT a man thing. This is what entitled people who havenut a clue do. Vast difference unless you consider that all men are entitled of course...

EternalOptimistToo · 18/09/2017 08:37

Btw the issue here isn't whether you are a SAHM, not good at dealing with laundry or whatever.
The issue is his comment was also a dig and a strong criticism of what you. In a PA way.

cluelessnewmum · 18/09/2017 08:40

My dh does this, he thinks that "doing the washing" is putting some washing in the machine and switching it on. But then just leaves it in there indefinitely.

I used to hang it out, sort it and put it a way, but now if he does that I just leave his stuff in there so the shirts are a nightmare (for him) to iron to make the point.

I don't have a solution but it is annoying!

x2boys · 18/09/2017 08:40

Yes dh insisted he cooked a roast beef and Gammon joint I put it in the oven and then went to Sainsbury's to get some new potatoes and salad leaving him to keep an eye on it he prodded it once and carved it so clearly he cooked

Lweji · 18/09/2017 08:41

Clearly, laundry is only ever dealt with properly by a man. This man.
It doesn't matter if you're a SAHM, he's better at it, so he does it ALL. Give him loads of praise while he does it.

Next, move on to dishes and cleaning.

Butterymuffin · 18/09/2017 08:42

Yes, let him put it on again but don't get it out to dry this time.

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