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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say 'no, DH, you didn't 'do the washing'?

81 replies

CredulousThickos · 18/09/2017 08:02

I freely admit our laundry pile is usually a disaster area. But last week I had a big push and got the bulk of it washed, dried and put away.

The remainder was sorted into two bags, one dark and one light, and I put Friday's work and school stuff in it in the evening.

Saturday morning I was lounging in bed and DH came up and made a big show of saying he was going to put the dark load on 'so he had all his work stuff ready'. There was ONE of his work t shirts in there as the rest had all been done.

Later that day I took the load out and hung it up.

Roll onto this morning and he comes downstairs with a flourish. Grabs his clean and dry work shirt and says 'oh it's no nice to be this organised, I'm really glad I put that wash on, I might start doing that every weekend'.

AIBU to think he's a thunderstealing cheeky fucker? All my effort clearly pales into significance because the Man of The House had put stuff in the machine and switched it on.

Grr.

OP posts:
iklboo · 18/09/2017 10:02

DH used to do this until I went upstairs and got one of my grandad's medals out of the drawer and gave it to him 'for services to the emptying of the bin'

WorraLiberty · 18/09/2017 10:02

I agree user1494187262. No-one would put up with this sort of piss poor performance in a job share.

So why they put up with it at home is beyond me, given that parenting/looking after the home is the biggest and most important job share they'll probably ever do.

WorraLiberty · 18/09/2017 10:03

iklboo Grin Grin

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 18/09/2017 10:04

Mine irons a few shirts and T shirts (I do every other part of the process) whilst watching TV so he doesn't have to deal with homework, packing school bags, getting them all to bed etc. he still tells everyone this at family dinners and parties and they all think he's amazing - literally cannot believe the praise he gets for ironing his own shirts - from women too! Bah!

MrsJamesAspey · 18/09/2017 10:13

Leave his work stuff wet in the washing machine next time BUT have a nicely laundered set hidden elsewhere.

Then when he's complaining that it's all soaking wet, you can produce the properly washed lot and say "it's a good job one of us knows there's more to washing than just putting the machine on"

AnotherShirtRuined · 18/09/2017 10:15

In our house I do all the laundry. By choice because I prefer it done in a certain way so it seems only fair. All in all, however, we have a pretty even division of labour. We also both work full time. Perhaps I'm lucky that my DH doesn't think of his contribution as helping me? Though he would pretty quickly have learned the error of his ways had that been the case...

Idontevencareanymore · 18/09/2017 10:17

If he'd put that load on, hung it to dry, lovingly folded it to within an inch of its life so it wouldn't need ironing and then painstakingly hung it the correct way to ensure no creasing I'd allow him his victory.

Pressing a button on a machine doesn't count.

He can leave.

kaitlinktm · 18/09/2017 10:17

He might work hard etc but I still think it's worth pointing out to him that the jobs he was doing (ie putting the washing in, putting his laptop away etc) only take a couple of minutes and aren't comparable with proper cleaning - like paintwork and bathrooms. I had an ex who NEVER EVER cleaned a toilet - that was always my job. Still annoys me and we've been divorced 14 years.

MrsOverTheRoad · 18/09/2017 10:19

My DH did similar. Decided I was shit at organising the laundry and said he'd do all his own as I didn't want him to do mine because his stuff is filthy from his work.

Two weeks in and he had NO clean clothes at all and a big heap of stinking stuff.

He graciously admitted that he'd been wrong and apologised!

cantfindname · 18/09/2017 10:21

This made me really laugh! My OH claims he does the washing because he loads his stuff in the machine and (sometimes) turns it on.

Then the washing fairy hangs it out, runs after it if rain starts, brings it in and irons it and folds it and then puts it away.

But he 'does the washing' Hmm

MrsJamesAspey · 18/09/2017 10:24

DH used to do this until I went upstairs and got one of my grandad's medals out of the drawer and gave it to him 'for services to the emptying of the bin'

GrinGrinGrin

LindyHemming · 18/09/2017 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TieGrr · 18/09/2017 10:31

DP took the washing out of the machine the other week and hung it on the airer to dry. He was complaining about how many socks there were and how long it takes to hang them up. My response was a very irritated 'I know! I do this every week.'

Less than a week later, he went out and bought a little clothes peg thingy especially for socks. I'm not sure whether it's to make the job easier for me the majority of the time I do the washing, or for him the very occasional times he does it. Hmm

DJBaggySmalls · 18/09/2017 10:34

oh it's no nice to be this organised, I'm really glad I put that wash on is passive aggressive for 'you dont keep the house as nicely as my mother'.

ToEarlyForDecorations · 18/09/2017 10:40

DH used to do this until I went upstairs and got one of my grandad's medals out of the drawer and gave it to him 'for services to the emptying of the bin'

Genuine laugh out loud ! With that I will now go and put the laundry on the line that could do with an airing as we've had guests this week end and there's bedsheets and towels that need to go out on the line.

ToEarlyForDecorations · 18/09/2017 10:41

Freshly washed towels and bedlinen I mean.

SocMcDuffin · 18/09/2017 10:43

OH does all the laundry in our house. I do the meal planning and cooking. And he actually does all of the laundry from sorting the colours to folding dry clean stuff. Irons his own stuff too. We are about 50-50 on all other household chores.

Barbecues, on the other hand used to fuck me right off. I would go get the stuff from coals to food, prepare the homemade burgers, marinade the drumsticks, part oven-cook them, put baked potatoes in the oven, chop the salad, slice the halloumi, make vinaigrette, boil the corn on the cob, set the table, de-gunk the ketchup, mustard and other condiments, chill the beers. I would even open the packets of steak.

He lights the barbeque, then cremates the fucking meat. Then says "he" cooked dinner. Well, he used to say it, until I set him straight. Grin

MujosMama · 18/09/2017 10:45

People suggesting leaving him to do it for himself - you're brave! Last time DP took it upon himself to do washing he did actually complete all the steps involved in laundering clothes (washing, taking out, drying) the problem is that he ignored my carefully sorted piles (which were only in piles and not done because I was waiting on some more bits to pad them out having done 2 loads the day before), scooped them all up and washed everything together on a 60 cycle, then tumble dried the lot. 2 hand wash only nursing bras now stretched out and ruined, and all the whites now a funny grey colour Shock

ToEarlyForDecorations · 18/09/2017 10:49

oh it's no nice to be this organised, I'm really glad I put that wash on

Yep, full marks for a cheeky bastard thing to say.

Really glad I put that wash on ? Um, what about all the other washes done as normal ?

It only counts when a man does laundry/housework doesn't it ?

I saw an internet meme that had a bloke taking a standing ovation. The caption read something like, 'what a man expects when he does some housework.'

I sometimes wonder what the equal and opposite is (if there is one) where women expect praise for occasionally doing something their husband would do.

WorraLiberty · 18/09/2017 10:53

MujosMama it's not brave to suggest leaving him to do it himself.

If (as in the case of your husband) someone doesn't know how to do something correctly, then you teach them, surely?

None of us were born knowing how to do these tasks and while learning, I'm sure we all made mistakes.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 18/09/2017 10:56

It's amazing these men are never this crap at doing their job ...only ever at home.

MujosMama · 18/09/2017 10:58

Thanks for the helpful advice Grin as it happens I have asked him in the past specifically not to wash my bras on anything over a 30 and to separate whites and coloureds but that was forgotten/ignored. He's 35 I shouldn't have to teach him to do the washing, if it needed doing I would have left him a basketful, asked him to wash just that pile and left him to it. I was just trying to join in with the comedic tone of the tread but thanks for the judgement

IsabelleSE19 · 18/09/2017 10:59

Slow clap the fucker out of the house.

Genuine lol - thanks for that!

MothratheMighty · 18/09/2017 11:05

I'm joining user, Vino et al on the 'I can't believe you put up with this shit' bench. Just why? Why be with someone that doesn't do their fair share of the stuff that needs doing, whatever that is or how you split it up?
And if you choose to do that, then why whine about it without changing what's happening? Been with OH almost 40 years, he's always pulled his weight with housework. Why wouldn't he?

Original poster
CredulousThickos · 18/09/2017 11:15

I have no issue at all with him doing far less housework. He works out of the house for up to 60hrs a week. We both make equal but different contributions to the household.

I do take issue with him stealing my thunder wrt to the laundry being up to date. He can fuck right off with that. That was MY small victory, not his.

OP posts:
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