To be offended by my husband??

[girlingerrupting]

Skived off then end of work on Friday and got my hair and nails done for evening out with DH and friends. I got home in heels and a dress (sort of what I wear to work) and quickly changed into jeans shirt and leather jacket for local dinner.
During night he tells the other woman what a wonderful mother she is literally gushing. She didn't ask for it and isn't insecure. He has never ever said that to me. Then proceeds to get so drunk when we get home I just go to bed.
Fast forward to today I spend all morning ferrying children and cleaning (not been done for a while as I work long hours and DH doesn't know Mr muscle from his elbow). I sort out ironing then we all have lunch. Later he takes Dc out for about 1.5. I make tea and we think we'll have a take away and watch a film. I've done one dishwasher by this time. We all do home work and practice etc and then I put boys to bed thinking as planned he'll get us some food. I finish and kitchen a bomb site and husband watching rugby.
I complain and he proceeds to tell me that I'm lazy that he thought I looked like shit the night before (was I supposed to go out in work clothes? I don't even have much for weekend cos we're broke). Now the fact that our friend (wife) was dressed really similarly to me. And he gushed about her.
I'm just feeling really unloved. Aibu?
I just want to curl up and cry sat night now crap. He didn't know I was upset about the mother thing. I suppose I'm a pretty average mother because I work so much but I'd quit in an instant if he could support us. I feel really hurt. And now really crap about how I look.
Makes me wonder if I'm the nightmare why is he so horrible?

No he does not love or respect you, that's it! Now look to your living options. Look to asking him to move out or you. Go to Woman Aid or Citizen Advice.

Go for legal advice too.

I hope you continue to stand up for yourself OP. You are NONE of the things he says. Believe in yourself.

Have you considered the possibility that he may be having an affair?

OP it does sound like affair territory, not saying it's definitely the case but it is a possibility. When men act like this seemingly out of nowhere, it's usually because they have something to hide or are feeling guilty.

Home truths! How dare he! Sorry, but he's turned out to be an unpleasant piece of work...

How about a talk.
"Look, I don't like the way this is going, clearly you feel I don't dress up to to brush up your ego, but I am not Barbie, I work all day in uncomfortable clothes, I wanted to enjoy our night out, I had my hair/nails/face done. What if anything did you do, apart from blatantly embarras me in front of x,the woman?
I can see you are looking for a fight, so why not just go & stay at your mother's/friends/OW, & have a little think about this.
There is no point in drawing it out into prolonged sulks & discontent.
So, if you don't like, love, respect or support me, I am guessing this is over.

put him on his back foot, take control of this. You did nothing wrong, he may have a chip on his shoulder, whatever, the situation is as it is,
Let him go & get a better higher paid job, what, after all is stopping him ?

Op this doesn't sound like a good situation at all. Stay on here and choose the advice you want out of everything people are saying here. There is a lot of support for you on here - many of us have been in similar situations. I know I have. Stay strong. You aren't going mad.

Sorry OP he is horrible. Nothing about this sound good and you deserve so much better xx

There is only one thing that needs to change here and that's your partner, as in, you need to bin him and get a different one. Quick sharp, before he does any more damage. Don't listen to a word he says. He sounds poisonous. Please please leave him.