Background: I work in my local primary school as a part time midday supervisor and have done for a couple of years (earning a tiny amount of money). Over the last year I have also been doing a distance learning course, training to be a level 3 teaching assistant specialising in SEN, and have done all my practical work in the same school. So since January I have done one full day every week in school (totally unpaid), assisting the teachers in whatever ways I am needed - I ask for very little in return, just for the teacher I work with to read through and sign the practical written work I have done. Prior to starting the course, I also volunteered one morning a week listening to children read and had done that continuously for 5 years. I have also volunteered in many other ways over the years - school trips, summer and xmas fairs, helping with craft or sports activities, etc.
School term started last week and I knew there was a whole school day trip to a local event planned for this week and I volunteered as a helper for that on top of my usual day in school. I made it clear from the start that I would be happy to do this if I could support one of the children with additional needs as then that would also help me with the section of the course on SEN on a general experience level. This was understood and accepted at the time by the Head. On the day in question I arrived and went out to the coach with the class that included the child I thought I would be supporting but just before I got on board, I was told by the Head that I was needed with a different class - one with no SEN children - and to get on the other coach. I was a bit taken aback and said, 'But the plan was that I was supporting X...' and she told me that X had enough support already, that the other group needed an extra adult, and that she had thought I was coming along in order to help them out? This last comment in particular said quite angrily and all was said in front of other staff members.
I had always had a good relationship with and huge respect for this person (and had thought the respect was mutual) and this felt high handed and uncalled for - as if I was only in it for what I could get and was being given a telling off for having a bad attitude. I understand that adult to child ratios must be carefully worked out and that changes may need to be made on the day. If she had said - sorry, it's not going to work as we had planned - do you mind going with the other group? - that would have been fine. I would have been disappointed at a lost opportunity but accepted it.
I'm not very resilient when it comes to people being angry or unkind to me without just cause and it upsets me a lot. I know that sounds pathetic and some people are going to think that I am but there we are. She hasn't apologised since then and I admit I have avoided her because I don't know how to handle it. I will usually go out of my way to put things right but at the moment I just don't have the emotional wherewithal to do that, as I'm going through a period of high anxiety related to difficult family circumstances.
So who was being unreasonable? And what do I do now - forget about it? Try to talk to her about it? Send her an email/letter (because the idea of talking to her face-to-face about it gives me the fear...)? I'm really unsure about posting this because I know some people will think I'm being utterly pathetic and will happily tell me so but hey, we're all different and we have to work with what we've got. So here goes...