Dh is simply a cunt!

[IWantABlueBanana]

I am NBU

On day 3 of a bulging disc and the most horrendous nerve pain. Have 2 yo dt's, can barely squat/crouch, cant lift, certainly cant move fast. So far every nappy change has left me in tears with pain.

Yet cunty h is kidding on hes still 18 and fucking off to a fucking noise music event tomorrow... although when his wee chum phoned me last week like a 13 year old to ask if he could go cause he didnt have the balls, i said no!

IANBU to hope the fucker chokes on his glowstick right?!

I went to bed. H has caused a massive fuss, waking dd2, to pick sides

I feel sick, i just wanted to get up for a cup of tea

How can i ever win against emotional abuse?

You can only win by sacking him, petal. Try to get some sleep, if the pain will let you. I know it seems grim right now, but you deserve better than his shite. It's so tough to see the wood for the trees when you're in chronic pain, I hope you can figure out what's best for you and the kids soon. But do try to get some rest in the meantime

Had a massive blowout. Its done. Im selfish fir not letting him out

Your selfish? He seriously thinks you're the selfish one here?

Tell him to go to his gig and then not come back, then. He's an irresponsible manchild who doesn't deserve either you or your children because he clearly cares more for his play date than any of you.

You nailed your description of him, I think.

You're selfish?! Blimey, what a tosser. Things will be tough OP but better in the long run without this abusive wanker.

If he's calling you selfish, after insisting on going out when you're in pain and having woken your dc, then I'm afraid that I think you know what you need to do.

He was a cunt even before this spectacular display of hypocrisy

OP I'm sorry but this could have been avoided.

Of course he is the selfish one, but you are now in a state of conflict.
He sees you as controlling, you haven't won this particular battle.

And he wasn't any help anyway was he.

You need to maintain your dignity. You can't control another human being, that only builds more resentment. Sail above this,
In doing that you are giving him the rope he needs to hang himself.

You shouldn't need to forbid him from going out, you want him to care enough for you and his family to put your needs and difficulties above his desire to go out and behave like a teenager at some night out.

And getting him to change that is not something you can control.
Either he loves you enough or he doesn't. And clearly he doesn't.

Engaging in power struggles, preventing him from going out, arguments etc is wasteful of energy and is creating a toxic environment for your kids.

You need to sail above it.

Stop the petty rows, the arguments. the blame.

AND GET OUT.

No comments on your H because words fail me.

If you have nerve pain have you been given nortriptyline or gabapentin? If not, head to your GP and ask why. "Normal" painkillers don't work for neuropathic pain, you need either a tricyclic (amitrip or nortrip) or a gaba agent (gabapentin or pregabalin). Hope you are feeling better soon

You messaged his friend no wonder he asked last week if he's allowed to out to play .. how embarrassing! I'd be livid if my partner did that.

You also mentioned about publicly shaming him on Facebook as he doesn't like it.

I do think people of any age should be able to do what they want and he is being abit of a twat for going when your in so much pain but you both sound as bad as each other to be honest.

Go to A&E/doctor/clinic if you're concerned about your health, and let him sort the children. Then tell him he can't go to the event because that's when you've scheduled your first marriage counseling session.

Then tell him he can't go to the event

You can't control other people like this.

Sad fuck (him not you). Hello locksmith, goodbye twatbag's stuff (when you can move). You poor thing.

He's done you a favour in the long run. He has no love or respect for you.

Get him out of your life.

H has caused a massive fuss, waking dd2, to pick sides

This is disgusting.

OP Why do you want your DD to be raised in such an abusive way?

I'm sorry about your back. Its time to kiss this relationship goodbye. Its not healthy.

Ah bless. Let him to have the full Glasto camping experience too - throw a wet sleeping bag on the doorstep for him then lock up.

He sounds awful. I would consider telling him not to come back. What did you mean by not having friends due to not being allowed out??

Sodding off out asap would solve the immediate problem of you being left to look after children when you're physically too unwell to do it, OP. Once recovered, then you can decide whether you want to stay in a relationship with someone who treats you like this. But you should take immediate action to avoid being put in the position where you have to risk damaging your back further.

Jesus. Poor you. Ive had back problems. Im wincing for you. I'm outside Ayr if you need anything. (Not sure which direction from Glasgow you are)

Easy option, don't stay married to someone you think is a cunt,

What would happen if you just went out before he did on the day of his festival, leaving the kids alone with him? Would he bugger off anyway and leave his kids to die? You might say 'I couldn't do that it's so irresponsible but it is basically what he is doing. So why of two parents is one having to be more responsible than the other?

He sounds like an absolute fucking loser.

I couldn't have any respect for this waste of space.

I would be embarrassed to be his partner.

Kick his ass out.

You poor thing, he sounds awful.

You're the selfish one? Ffs!!

How old is dd he woke to pick sides? Sounds like emotional abuse.

He's a cunt of the highest order.