AIBU to be fuming that DS has been sent home because of his hair???

[brodyblake]

DS had his haircut just before he started secondary school. In the uniform rules, it just saying no "extreme hairstyles" does not give any kind of description as to what those may be. Bugger me, he goes in with a perfect uniform, a nice smart haircut and is told it's a no!!! They have said that he is to be in isolation until it grows to an acceptable length they didn't say what would be classed as extreme!!!!!!!!

My question: Who is harmed, and in what way, by a child having that particular hairstyle, or any other hairstyle?

Answer: .... tumbleweed ...

Bluntly, this hairstyle is extreme through my middle-class lens and I think the schools aren't doing the kids any favours by seeing them off to employment, interviews etc without some kind of guidance. It's one of the subtle (actually, this is not terribly subtle) indicators that lock working class boys out of entire industries.

Aim to change the game, find, but don't pretend the rules don't exist.

You can argue that this isn't the schools place, or that the punishment is disproportionate, but I agree with what I assume the intent to be.

TipTop, so you perceive the answer to attainment gaps is to make sure all can be viewed as acceptable through a 'middle-class lens'? With no attempt made to serve and respect specific communities, with which the school is placed amongst and with no celebration or acceptance of diversity?

Added to this, what is considered 'middle class' varies across different cultures, so how do you ensure they are not discriminated against?

As another middle class mother

I fail to see what is extreme about a short back and sides

Based on the Ops stance that it was not a fade and is longer than the photos shown earlier

Another middle class mother here, who also doesn't get what's extreme about it.

I'm middle class too and I'm not sure this haircut would hit my 'extreme' radar. The haircuts we were allowed at school in the 80s were more extreme. Was raised in the north of England, though, perhaps that discounts my opinion, from some people's perspectives....

I'm sporting a rather extreme short clippered hair at the mo, with headscarf to catch fallout. Chemo does that to you. I'm pleased, though, that clippered heads are about in society, it makes the whole experience less of a shock. I've wigs too, allows for a whole cornucopia of 'flamboyant' hairstyles...

this hairstyle is extreme through my middle-class lens

Of interest. How do you calibrate your lens?

The main 'calibrations', offered on this thread seems to be 'The Daily Mail' online, YouTube' and 'Google', make. Who knew this reading/watch list was now a requirement, for those qualifying as 'middle class'?

I suppose it's like the baby name threads where people say a girl called Lucinda is more likely to be a high court judge than a Letisha. True, though I suspect there may be other factors at work that would thwart the working class Lucinda

I did post earlier about not knowing that this was an extreme hairstyle

I still dont know how i could tell

And i am referring to a short back and sides, not punk or dyed as i know these would be considered extremely

I am still curious to know how anyone is still beratting the op for her sons haircut using the photos on the thread as evidence when they are not in fact his haircut. Op has stated that they are not the same and his is nowhere near as short as these photos.

Everyone is presuming that the photos on here are the ops son's haircut and commenting on them not the actual cut he has.

And still berating op for not following a 'code' that wasnt even specified.

If there was an unspecified rule on MN that nobody was to use the word 'post' and everyone got temporary bans for using it, imagin the outrage!

My question: Who is harmed, and in what way, by a child having that particular hairstyle, or any other hairstyle?

Answer: .... tumbleweed ...

Bluntly, this hairstyle is extreme through my middle-class lens and I think the schools aren't doing the kids any favours by seeing them off to employment, interviews etc without some kind of guidance. It's one of the subtle (actually, this is not terribly subtle) indicators that lock working class boys out of entire industries.

Aim to change the game, find, but don't pretend the rules don't exist.

You can argue that this isn't the schools place, or that the punishment is disproportionate, but I agree with what I assume the intent to be.

TipTop - thanks for answering my question about harm caused by this hairstyle. Your position is that the boy himself is being harmed, because having a short back and sides may lead to his losing out on job interviews etc.

Hmm... this position is another way of saying that this is a "chavvy" hairstyle.

I agree that schools should provide children with guidance about how to present themselves for job interviews etc, but as this boy is only 11 or 12 he has plenty of time before getting to that stage. By the time he's leaving school short back and side might no longer be fashionable/chavvy/extreme < take your pick.

It increasingly seems that children whose appearance doesn't accord with middle class sensibilities must be kept out of sight.

Flowers you are more argumentative about non existent parts of an argument just to be hard and to be right than Piers Morgan is.
Now that's an achievement!

And fwiw we don't know 100's of other kids weren't sent home. We only know the OP's was.

This isn't me - it's an image I found on Pinterest. However, this is exactly the haircut I currently have. Even the grey hair colour is the same.

I wonder how long I would have to spend in isolation were I some 30 years younger and at the same school as the OP's son?

What I do know is that such a punishment would have affected me deeply and for a long time. It would have been detrimental to my welfare and damaged my self-confident, my trust in teachers, and set me back educationally.

It's just hair.

It's only "extreme" if someone decided it is, and even if it is "extreme" then what difference does that make to a child's learning, or that of their peers?

Seeing my 12 year old son has that hair cut too, although the long side comes down to his chin. Luckily his school don't discriminate based on hair styles.

I love a clean military haircut especially on little boys! Sooo 1950's highlighting big ears.

Ds1 cut his hair once

Did not end well

Thank goodness the school didnt mind all his hair being cropped off!!

My sons hair is only slightly longer than the photos on page one of the thread. Never been a problem at school and he is a teacher.

Granny

My sons hair is only slightly longer than the photos on page one of the thread. Never been a problem at school and he is a teacher.

Is he hoping to get put into isolation? If so, it's clearly not working at his current school. He might have to go private or move house to the catchment area which has a different policy on "extreme" haircuts.

Well, though its a bit late in the day for my reply. Obviously no-one gets harmed by a hairstyle, unless its so big none can see the board or you've racist symbols in it. Also like I said, I don't give a monkeys what your child looks like, I don't particularly agree with haircut rules. However, if there is a school rule that you don't like. e.g. hair style, then do something constructive to change it. Like join governors, speak to the head, do something useful. Don't send your child to school with a hairstyle that is against the rules and expect that to change anything. All it does is waste our time and stop us teaching. Seriously between the tutor or teacher and pastoral care we are likely to have to waste 45 mins on it all, speaking to the student, the pastoral manager, the parent, the student again, organising isolation, setting work for isolation. Does any of it help...of course it bloody doesn't and the rules don't suddenly change just because you decided to help your child break the rules or get irate about it. As for the OP, i've no idea if there really was no explanation of the haircut or if there was no warning before isolation and I agree it was extreme, my school you'd get a request of a restyle and if you get it cut again the same way an isolation.

All it does is waste our time and stop us teaching. Seriously between the tutor or teacher and pastoral care we are likely to have to waste 45 mins on it all, speaking to the student, the pastoral manager, the parent, the student again, organising isolation, setting work for isolation. Does any of it help...of course it bloody doesn't and the rules don't suddenly change just because you decided to help your child break the rules or get irate about it.

Yes, exactly. I would also ask they same of teachers, to speak up, using the official channels, against rules and the implementations of them that they see are a waste of time. Teachers have good ammunition, in terms of the first hand evidence. This is also important regarding how clearly rules are communicated.

Parents, clearly, are not mind readers. They cannot simply predict what some teachers / head will view as 'extreme'. There are different viewpoints, as shown on this thread.

Those schools that have such exacting rules re hairstyles should put photos of the few hairstyles they do find acceptable on their website, for students to copy. I suppose that would be too easy and require too much much common sense though.

If it was something I cared enough about tat actually went against human rights or otherwise then I would. Hair isn't an issue for me. So no im not about to fight a fight about hair when I've got enough to do already. Like teach, plan, deal with real issues, mark, analyse data, prepare materials for my lessons etc etc. Oh and have a life. Teachers do enough without having to worry about hair. If your school doesn't give clear enough examples then ask for it to be made clearer.

And actually, do you really believe that anyone listens to teachers??? Did anyone listen when we went on strike, when we were fighting against the changes Gove was putting in place, when we were shouting about the deterioration of the mental health of our young due to increase in pressure. When we were fighting against cuts to services, academies and free schools. When we warned cuts to pay and conditions we're going to cause a teacher recruitment crisis which would harm education. Anyone listed to us fight against SATs changes? Anyone listen to us fight against cuts to further education and adult education? Did any one fight with us then? Or did you bitch about us striking over having too much money. Please. Don't tell me that teachers should be fighting over hair or spending outlets time dealing with it.

Like teach, plan, deal with real issues, mark, analyse data, prepare materials for my lessons etc etc. Oh and have a life. Teachers do enough without having to worry about hair. If your school doesn't give clear enough examples then ask for it to be made clearer.

Font, I would expect you to speak up, if you recognised there was a genuine problem at your school, that could easily be solved. You spoke earlier of the time wasting this type of issue can cause, highlighting issues such as this, if they are currently being badly managed, is just part af any professional role. Lots of professionals have lots to worry about (not just teachers) however continuing evaluation is still an important part of their role.