to not split the discount?

[schoolsaving]

Regular but NC as outing.

DS currently attends private school and fees split 50:50 with XH amicably but specific line 'school fees to be split 50:50' is in financial order. No maintenance paid as 50:50 care and clean break split with us i.e. no further claim on each other. Further relevant info is that since split I've reduced working hours and covered school holidays and XH has continued to work FT.

I've got a new full time job which includes 50% discount on school fees. Which of the below scenarios do you think is fairest?

A: fee discount reduces both our share and we split the cost of additional holiday childcare
B: fee discount reduces my share to nil and I pick up cost of additional holiday childcare
C: fee discount reduces my share to nil and we split additional holiday childcare

Thanks!

A I think is the fairest.

C. Take it and enjoy. He don't pay for anything else you do so give him nothing.

Speak to payroll and get absolute clarification on the discount- then take that information to a solicitor to find out where you stand with it and put together a few acceptable scenarios then go to your Ex-H to discuss

'school fees to be split 50:50' is in financial order.'

Is your discount treated as a taxable benefit?
If so then the net after tax, less your discount is the new school fee, which should be shared 50:50.
Anything else is in breach of the financial order.

You suggest in your post the current split is amicable.

• flip the position, how would you feel if your XH with-held funds effectively reneging on an agreed court order? One might suggest none too amicable.

Are you so money orientated this is worth a split and the then likely emotional ramifications for your child?
Do you really need strangers top point this out to you?

Your fee reduction is part of your pay package. It doesn't reduce the actual fees, just the amount you have to pay. Unless he wants to split any perks he gets for his job (bonus etc) then it should be B or C.

D - speak to a solicitor. No matter what anyone says on here, there will be ramifications of this on the order and the last thing you want is a year down the line, a claim coming in for the difference.

Why the assumption that the OP is being paid less than she would without the discount?

I know teachers/TAs in private schools who get paid the same as they would in a state school and in one case quite a bit more and get the discount.

Without knowing all the figures on the cost of childcare it's not clear who, if either, has got the better ££ deal.

C as PPs have said it's part of your salary package

C

I haven't RTFT but I've read OP's updates and skimmed the rest, so apologies if this has been suggested already, but...

Would you consider option D? Both parents continue to make the same contributions as before but the surplus left over after the discount has been applied goes into a trust / savings account for the specific purpose of DS's further education costs, e.g. university fees?

A fifty fifty split of the fees, is exactly that, a split of what they actually are, at point of invoice.

You could take a discussion with him argue your fifty split is not you physically pay fifty fifty, it also includes your discount and that's how you will pay your share and see how amenable he is. If he's reasonable he should accept it, why should he benefit from your job perk?

A

The holiday childcare was costed by me before I offered and is less than 10% of my saving so I see it as a goodwill gesture as he could have taken the position of many posters and insisted a split and/or made it go back to court.

Singsling50 is most definitely on Glue. There's a subtle difference between being money oriented and not wanting to effectively hand over several hundred pounds a month to my XH

HaHaHmm that's a good suggestion I did think of as a compromise but I have a younger DD not yet at school that I wouldn't necessarily be able to save the same for at present (or guarantee I could top up her savings to same degree in future)

Good result if it keeps the peace OP. Really nice to read about people behaving like grown ups for a change....

I'd also say C, this is part of your salary package.

Yes, you are being unreasonable, and you're also breaking the terms of the financial order. Fees to be split in half, regardless of what they are, or how / why a discount is available.

I thought this was going to be about 50% off at Pizza Express by the title which would have been a definite A but in this case I would say C is fair.

Your labour is reducing the bill so you should benefit that. Why should he get a financial benefit from your choice of employment?

I don't know what the legal position but if the argument is that the fees are the same but you are being reimbursed by your employer from half of them, there will be significant tax consequences of that.

There will be little or no tax on the benefit of school fees but if they invoice you at the reduce price but if they invoice you the full amount and give you credit for half, that will have full tax and NI on it.

C as it's part of your salary perk/package unless he shares all his with you.

I would take the discount as a bonus.

You could have received the bonus in another way and not given half of it to XH, so why should you halve your bonus just because it fits under the heading school fees?

Has anybody pointed out that it might be possible to look at this from the point of view of what is best for your DD long term, rather than as a possible way your XH might take something from you?

For instance: presumably before you became entitled to the discount you could both afford the fees 50/50 and you were happy with the situation around holiday care (ie. you wish to have less stress and spend time with DD etc). If you can both still afford a 50/50 split of the revised fees how about suggesting you share this (as long as any tax liability you might pay is addressed so you're not worse off) and each pay the other half into a savings account for your DD future school needs or university?

It is great that one of you could afford to cover the fees if the other fell on hard times but this way you'd be jointly saving to cover such an eventuality.

I have a DD and her father is my X and I think its very easy to get caught in this kind of trap of being convinced in advance that the other party is going to try to hurt you financially. Maybe he'd say - "that's your discount don't worry about it".

I wouldn't try to bring in the childcare thing unless the current arrangement has caused you upset, as it suggests there's underlying resentment about an arrangement you've previously agreed.

You don't have automatic access to his benefits and he doesn't have access to yours. But your relationship sounds amicable and this benefit is really for your DD. If his work offered discounted swimming lessons for children and he let you pay 50% of the full price and took the discount out of his side you might be annoyed..? Or at least feel it would have been nice to have been consulted, even if you wouldn't dream of sharing his benefit.

The true beneficiary here is your DD, and the more you can do to help each other sustain the situation over the long term the better it will be for her. It can't be easy paying private school fees and it's probably not worth falling out over - this should be a great thing for you all!

Life is long, and expensive... parents helping each other to help their child should be an easy choice.

(And congratulations on the new job!)

OP, brilliantly handled and a lovely outcome. You both sound like grown ups and frankly, lovely parents. Your DS is a very lucky boy xx

And oh yes! Congratulations
On the new job x