to not split the discount?

[schoolsaving]

Regular but NC as outing.

DS currently attends private school and fees split 50:50 with XH amicably but specific line 'school fees to be split 50:50' is in financial order. No maintenance paid as 50:50 care and clean break split with us i.e. no further claim on each other. Further relevant info is that since split I've reduced working hours and covered school holidays and XH has continued to work FT.

I've got a new full time job which includes 50% discount on school fees. Which of the below scenarios do you think is fairest?

A: fee discount reduces both our share and we split the cost of additional holiday childcare
B: fee discount reduces my share to nil and I pick up cost of additional holiday childcare
C: fee discount reduces my share to nil and we split additional holiday childcare

Thanks!

You may be better off on the school fees, but how does that balance with the increased cost of childcare?

If he accepts reduced fees then that must balance out the increase in childcare?

What's the difference

Whatever you have decided to do, it's the best solution because you're both happy with it and that makes for amicable parenting.

(Personally I think you should both pay half the reduced cost of schooling, and both of you should pay half the cost of holiday child-care. If there's any leftover money from either of you compared to what you were spending before, you could put it towards extra-curricular activities for DS).

As far as financial considerations for DS are concerned, it is as though you are still together - so "A" is the only sensible option. Assuming extra childcare costs are less than the fee reduction, then let XH know that it would be good if any saving he makes with the new situation is spent for DS's benefit. The only alternative is to ask your employer to drop the discount and give you a higher salary.

You do need to consider whether you will be taxed on this benefit and take it into account whatever you decide.

C. Unless maybe he is struggling financially and you are feeling generous or would feel bad not sharing some of the discount? I see it as part of your salary/benefits package so you should definitely not feel any pressure to share it.

I suspect that you know that the moral thing to do would be for you both to benefit from the discounted school fees. And I also suspect that you want to be told that you should benefit from the discount but that your ex-husband shouldn't.

In any case, this new arrangement will affect the financial settlement between you and your ex-husband, and as such, the matter should be taken to the family court for their ruling. At least that will mean that you are not responsible for whatever arrangement they enforce.

That wouldn't be the moral thing to do at all.

Geordie1944 I disagree - I don't think it would be moral for him (or I) to take a substantial financial saving on something that either of us hasn't earned.

I think if the school fees are reduced by 50 then you and XH could share paying the remaining 50%. Keep things civilised, karma treats you with kindness when your nice. But it really is ultimately your choice. Will XH know if you don't tell him?

That discount is yours.

What didn't you agree to in relation to increased childcare costs?

If you take the 50% discount as yours how much will he have to pay extra to cover half of the holiday cover because that's not cheap

You need to work out if he'll contribute to those as well

B or c

The discount is part of your salary (and will be taxable as a benefit in kind)

C. He will continue to pay his half of your DC school fees and you pay a credit for yours. Any child care should be split 50/50 if you have joint custody and no maintenance paid. Your split sounds very civilised and I only wish my x would have done the same with me. We had 1 child in independent school and I begged him to continue to pay half school fees so our ds could continue in same school with his friends but my x refused and i could not afford 100%fees so he had to come out.

I think an analogy would be business expenses.If you book a train ticket to go to say a training course in another town, the employer would not reimburse you the standard fare!

The discount is part of your wages. He has no entitlement to your wages so he still needs to pay 50% of the full fees. - a cost which has been assumed to be at a certain level. If you reduce this cost then he owes somewhere else so I would just keep things as they are and pocket your discount with your wages.

The school fees are £z no matter what. You pay 50% of z. Your job gives you a discount, which is equal to 50% of z. Therefore you pay nothing. The school fees are still £z. Exdh pays 50% of z, you pay nothing as your % is covered by your employer. you are still responsible for that 50% being paid!

The discount is part of your wages

how can it be if she doesn't pay tax on it?

So glad you and your exH have been able to sort it out and he is right it would be unfair to benefit from the perks of your job. The same way you would't expect to benefit from his future earnings.

Lots of people seem to think this is some kind of part of your salary package, it isn't it's just like someone else getting a bursary. I don't get paid more as a teacher in an independent school despite not having kids, but some who have kids have fees discounted amounting to over £25k a year saving from the full fees if they have 2 kids at the school.

You get taxed extra if you get free accommodation/utilities not fee discount. So I used to pay tax equivalent to what was spent on utilities in the accommodation I lived in free (in exchange for some boarding duties).

So the ones living on site with kids are the best off as they don't have any rent to pay and have a huge discount on fees (85% at my last school) and can have most meals in term time provided.

Morally, A!

Why morally A?

If ops ex suddenly started getting an extra bonus which was equal to half of the school fees should he then tell the op that he would then be covering 75% of the school fees?

The discount is just part of ops wages but in the form of a discount rather than cash. Why should ops ex get some of her wages which she worked to earn?