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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this was an outrageous request from our landlord and to be a bit suspicious?

398 replies

pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:24

We rent our house and have been here for 3 years, so it is very much our home.

Some background. The landlords aren't buy to lets, they inherited this house and we are the first tenants. Before letting they completely refurbished the property - new bathrooms, kitchens, windows, carpets, roof extension, the lot. They did it themselves to a high standard and it's lovely. I can imagine that they're proud of it (relevant)

We have a good relationship with them. They're not local but come down to see family sometimes and tend to use the opportunity to do any maintenance that needs doing. Recently they've been sprucing up the exterior.

Onto the outrageous request! She text me yesterday and explained that she was coming down with a girlfriend who knew the house as it was before, and would love to see what it looks like now. And could they come round today so the friend could have a look round the house.

I feel pretty disgruntled. This is our home and of course I don't want a complete stranger traipsing around looking at it out of curiosity. Surely as a landlord once a property has tenants, you leave them be unless there's a real reason. We have annual inspections with the leggings agency which is bad enough, but obviously accept as being part and parcel of renting.

I also feel a bit paranoid. It seems such an unreasonable thing to even ask that I'm concerned there could be an ulterior motive. Perhaps the friend is an estate agent who could cast an informal eye. I'd like to think that if they had plans to sell that they'd be upfront, but you never know.

They do have photos of the house as they were used in the original advert - can't they just show the friend those?! Why would the friend herself want to impose upon strangers in their home?!

I politely replied that it wasn't convenient today. But should I be concerned?

OP posts:

shirtyQwerty · 14/09/2017 14:24

I think you're being quite mean and paranoid.

Life needs to be less about 'rights' and 'entitlement' and more about thinking about others.

lollipop7 · 14/09/2017 14:35

This happened to me with my landlords. The "friend" was an estate agent. And I knew because she had done a string of viewing for the agents selling my neighbours house 😏 that was a fun encounter.

Unless they inform you in writing they are selling the property and give you the requisite notice re estate agents coming to value the house then it's business as usual. You are a paying tenant and there are terms and conditions. You pay the rent it's your home and you are entitled to quiet enjoyment and privacy. That most definitely turning a request of this nature down if you feel uncomfortable or inconvenienced.

If it were me I would state you found the request put you in an awkward position but you don't want things to be difficult because of it. I would be direct and ask them are they happy for this arrangement to continue or are other plans afoot for the house which is currently your home. Bugger coming across as paranoid, you are now anyway!

You can't stop them, but you are entitled to notice and it would be the right thing to give you time to investigate alternative places to live. Especially if they are nice as they sound from your description.

Hope for you it was a great one request and not the underhand behaviour you're now wondering whether they are capable of

BillBrysonsBeard · 14/09/2017 14:36

I wouldn't mind this at all unless they just rocked up to the door and it was a shit tip

Mittens1969 · 14/09/2017 14:38

@coddiwomple, It did seem that you were being goady, saying that a rental contract should be seen like staying in a hotel only longer. It's absolutely not the same and I think you must know that. It does become the tenant's home.

I agree, the attitude to tenants in this country is very poor. In other parts of Europe renting is the norm, very few people own their own homes.

Oldie2017 · 14/09/2017 14:41

Most reasonable people would not mind surely! The previous owners of our house were in our area and popped in to show the family round and i was delighted to show them round the house they used to live in.

existentialmoment · 14/09/2017 14:44

Life needs to be less about 'rights' and 'entitlement' and more about thinking about others

If you were thinking about others you wouldn't bring your mates around for a tour of someone elses home!

Yes, some consideration would be nice, wouldn't it?

BarbarianMum · 14/09/2017 14:45

YANBU to not want to open up your home but you are being a bit paranoid as to their reasons. If they want to sell it, they dont need to be sneaky, they can just arrange to send an estate agent round or give you notice. If you are worried this is on the cards then just ask.

I have looked round several old homes/friend's old homes in my lifetime, so can certainly see the attraction. My mum recently revisited the village/house she was born in and was not only shown round but invited to dinner too, along with several other people who remembered her family (eastern Europe, 1944, so lots of chaos and displacement).

pinkie1982 · 14/09/2017 14:45

Say you will be on holiday

bbcessex · 14/09/2017 14:55

YANBU. I'm a LL and I absolutely would not do this. It's disrespectful. That said.. it could easily be an Ill-judged innocent request without any ulterior motive.

I understand why it's set alarm bells ringing. In your position, you are quite within your rights to contact LL and ask then if you can plan on at least a 12 month renewal.. that will give you some insight into their immediate plans.

Original poster

pinkowl · 14/09/2017 14:55

*I think you're being quite mean and paranoid.

Life needs to be less about 'rights' and 'entitlement' and more about thinking about others.*

Yeah, sod my rights to feeling comfortable in my own home. I should be thinking about the feelings of a woman I have never even heard of until yesterday. After all, this is a house she's never lived in...it's really important for her to see it. I'm so mean!

OP posts:

DeleteOrDecay · 14/09/2017 14:56

I would be very tempted to get new tenants. It's a worry when people start to think it's their home, and soon feel entitled to make changes, redecorate etc. because they think it's theirs. A rental is like a hotel after all, you just stay longer.

ODFOD.

I totally wouldn't have a problem with this. Is her house after all
Her house but not her home. People who rent do not have to allow all and sundry in just because they don't own the bricks and mortar they reside in. They have a right to quiet enjoyment and the LL has no right to impose on them like this.

I think you're being quite mean and paranoid
Ugh enough with the 'mean' comments. Op is not being mean and she is not being paranoid. She is concerned for her families future after an unusual request from her LL. ffs.

That's a completely different situation.

Original poster

pinkowl · 14/09/2017 14:59

The previous owners. Not the current owners who hold all the power and might be wanting to sell. If we ever buy this house from the landlords and they one day wanted to show a friend the work they had originally done I would feel completely differently. It would be on my terms as the owner with no need for worry.

OP posts:

shirtyQwerty · 14/09/2017 15:00

pinkowl

Don't you come across as a really kind and pleasant person!

If their request has stopped you feeling comfortable in their house then you really have bigger issues than this.

BarbarianMum · 14/09/2017 15:01

lollipop7 · 14/09/2017 15:01

@pinkowl you are going to whip yourself up into a frenzy about this.
Just ring the landlord, clear the air and ask them outright if to sell or get things sorted vis a vis tenancy renewal.

lollipop7 · 14/09/2017 15:02

Outright it they PLAN to sell
Sorry for typo / omission

BarbarianMum · 14/09/2017 15:02

X posts. If they want to sell they are hardly going to be stopped by you refusing their request (or acceeding to it).

Original poster

pinkowl · 14/09/2017 15:05

I'm just a person, a mother, who through life circumstances hasn't been able to buy a house yet and wants to feel at ease in the home I'm renting. I don't feel at ease at the prospect of strangers traipsing round and I don't feel at ease at the prospect of needing to leave my home. I fail to see how that makes me unkind or unpleasant.

Yes the whole thing has made me feel uncomfortable. This is the roof over my family's head we're talking about. There's few bigger issues than that

OP posts:

bbcessex · 14/09/2017 15:05

To the posters who are astonished that any occupier should have the audacity to view the place where they live as their home... I give you the Mumsnet phrase most suited to your mindset..

"Are you on glue"?

DeleteOrDecay · 14/09/2017 15:06

Well, its not really, is it? In terms of privacy its exactly the same situation. And in terms of security of tenure, the visit makes no difference (unless the landlords get vindictive).

So just because you invited strangers into your home for a tour you feel op should too?

Like if you're okay with that's then fine but not everyone is and understandably so.

shirtyQwerty · 14/09/2017 15:08

Your failure to see your paranoia is kind of the point, isn't it PinkOwl?

BTW, I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him ...

mothertruck3r · 14/09/2017 15:10

I think you're being quite mean and paranoid. Life needs to be less about 'rights' and 'entitlement' and more about thinking about others.

Yes, the landlord should stop being so entitled and start thinking more about their tenants (customers) who are human beings and treat them with some respect and gratitude for paying their mortgage/pension for their 2nd home! They should feel privileged to have good tenants who are happy (at present) to pay the rent in exchange for having quiet enjoyment of their (the tenants) home!

bbcessex · 14/09/2017 15:12

Shirty .. I don't get your Notting hill reference?

I think it would be fair to feel OP is paranoid if just one element occurred. To have done exterior work recently, combined with an out of the blue request, could get your spider senses tingling, even wrongly.

DeleteOrDecay · 14/09/2017 15:14

I don't think you're being paranoid op. As a tenant myself I completely understand where you're coming from.

BarbarianMum · 14/09/2017 15:15

*Well, its not really, is it? In terms of privacy its exactly the same situation. And in terms of security of tenure, the visit makes no difference (unless the landlords get vindictive).

So just because you invited strangers into your home for a tour you feel op should too?

Like if you're okay with that's then fine but not everyone is and understandably so.*

Did you read my posts? Because I quite clearly stated "YANBU to not want to open up your home" and nowhere did I say that I'd opened up mine (i wouldn't mind but no-ones ever asked).

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