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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was an outrageous request from our landlord and to be a bit suspicious?

398 replies

pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:24

We rent our house and have been here for 3 years, so it is very much our home.

Some background. The landlords aren't buy to lets, they inherited this house and we are the first tenants. Before letting they completely refurbished the property - new bathrooms, kitchens, windows, carpets, roof extension, the lot. They did it themselves to a high standard and it's lovely. I can imagine that they're proud of it (relevant)

We have a good relationship with them. They're not local but come down to see family sometimes and tend to use the opportunity to do any maintenance that needs doing. Recently they've been sprucing up the exterior.

Onto the outrageous request! She text me yesterday and explained that she was coming down with a girlfriend who knew the house as it was before, and would love to see what it looks like now. And could they come round today so the friend could have a look round the house.

I feel pretty disgruntled. This is our home and of course I don't want a complete stranger traipsing around looking at it out of curiosity. Surely as a landlord once a property has tenants, you leave them be unless there's a real reason. We have annual inspections with the leggings agency which is bad enough, but obviously accept as being part and parcel of renting.

I also feel a bit paranoid. It seems such an unreasonable thing to even ask that I'm concerned there could be an ulterior motive. Perhaps the friend is an estate agent who could cast an informal eye. I'd like to think that if they had plans to sell that they'd be upfront, but you never know.

They do have photos of the house as they were used in the original advert - can't they just show the friend those?! Why would the friend herself want to impose upon strangers in their home?!

I politely replied that it wasn't convenient today. But should I be concerned?

OP posts:
DeleteOrDecay · 14/09/2017 15:16

Sorry I got you mixed up with another poster, apologies Barbarian.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 15:19

The Notting hill reference was taking the piss out of me saying I'm just a person, a mother

I don't think I'm the unkind or unpleasant one on this thread

OP posts:
BMW6 · 14/09/2017 15:21

I honestly don't think the request was "outrageous", nor do I think YABU in refusing.

shirtyQwerty · 14/09/2017 15:26

pinkowl

The Notting hill reference was taking the piss out of me saying I'm just a person, a mother

[thumbsUp]

Have you realised yet that your refusal or otherwise to let someone look at the owner's building has no difference whatsoever on their ability or wish to sell and if they were using this as a chance to scope out their property, you're doing nothing than eroding goodwill.

MrsOverTheRoad · 14/09/2017 15:38

Shirty yes she has and if you'd read the thread, you'd see that she says just that earlier.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 15:58

Eroding goodwill by telling her it wasn't convenient because I was working?

I haven't been to work today (part time) but I easily could have been; I can't take time off at that short a notice (literally evening before!) so what do you propose I would have done had I been working? Phoned in sick to accommodate it?!

OP posts:
MrsOverTheRoad · 14/09/2017 16:05

Pink don't give it a second though.

You were NOT unreasonable but she was to ask.

Do speak to her and ask about possible plans for selling in the future. Frame it as "We are happy here and would like to know if you plan on selling soon as while that would be inconvenient, we'd prefer to know in advance so we can save up for a move."

Daydreamerbynight · 14/09/2017 16:19

Well OP, let's hope your landlord is not Mumsnet.

Daydreamerbynight · 14/09/2017 16:19

Or even, not ON Mumsnet

maddening · 14/09/2017 16:22

We own our house and the daughter of a previous owner came round and wanted to look around for nostalgic reasons - didn't find that a problem or intrusive. But iwnbu to insist on being there at a time convenient to you ☺

specialsubject · 14/09/2017 16:23

Unfortunately this kind of thing brings out the uninformed tenants have no rights brigade, when the op can just say no and move on and has every right to do so.

Not that she would, but she also has the right to stop paying ,trash the place and ignore all the bills, and nothing can stop her until months later.

Try Florida where it is arse on the street in two weeks, encouraged by a man with a gun. That may cause a rethink about England's 'awful rental laws'.

plantsitter · 14/09/2017 16:31

Just because Florida's rental and gun laws are shit does not mean people should put up with with our own unsatisfactory laws.

No one has the 'right' to stop paying or trash a rented house or ignore the bills. That itself is ill-informed bollocks.

Most people want to keep to the law and in doing so are open to finding themselves in the very stressful position of having to move their families with very little notice and paying all sorts of ridiculous fees to do so.

lynmilne65 · 14/09/2017 16:42

what's LL ?

Jayfee · 14/09/2017 16:50

We let a flat and my husband built the house it is in, but i would not dream of asking to show some one around.

QuiteUnfitBit · 14/09/2017 17:06

One heartening thing about this thread is the number of LL (landlords) who would not dream of asking to show a friend around someone else's home.

SusannahL · 14/09/2017 17:17

Well this really is knock the landlord time isn't it?

I can assure you all that there are plenty of nightmare tenants out there, as friends will testify.

The answer is to get your acts together and buy. There is so much help these days with 'help to buy isas' being one.Also interest rates are ridiculously low at the moment, rates we could only have dreamed off when we first bought.

At one time we were paying 15%! Can you imagine that?

The answer though is to do things in the right order, ie, get the house, then get married, then have children.

Too many people these days do it all in reverse, then wonder why they have to rent!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 14/09/2017 17:22

I don't think it's outrageous at all.

I've let two sets of strangers have a look round my house because they said they lived here/knew it from their childhood.

I can imagine doing the same myself.

It would take 10 minutes out of your day - hardly a big ask.

Butterymuffin · 14/09/2017 17:28

If it was a parking thread, and someone had parked outside OP's house, on the road she doesn't own, there'd be lots of sympathy for her feeling uncomfortable, even though she has no 'right' to the space. But apparently it's totally different with a rented property. I think HeteronormativeHaybales was spot on in saying that the bar for landlords is as low as that for 'he's a great dad/ husband' anything short of abuse you are supposed to be grateful for.

Butterymuffin · 14/09/2017 17:29

And who are all these people who pop in and view houses they/their aunt/childhood friend used to live in? I've only ever seen this in movies on Christmas 24.

DeleteOrDecay · 14/09/2017 17:30

Susannah no one is knocking landlords.

I wish people would stop telling people to 'just buy', it makes you sound ignorant, ill-informed and unsympathetic. There are many, many reasons why someone might find themselves in a situation where they have to rent, and it's no good telling people to do things in the 'right order' when that ship has already sailed. Shit happens. These people are still entitled to a roof over their heads regardless.

What good is a help to buy isa when you can't afford to add into it? Interest rates may be low but you need a much bigger deposit to get on the housing ladder these days. Checks on income and outgoings are far more stringent too.

kittybiscuits · 14/09/2017 17:32

It was a ridiculous request. I would wonder if she was showing her friend with a view of renting or selling the property to her.

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 14/09/2017 17:39

LOL at getting my leggings inspected annually. Do they check the gussets....I mean gutters ? Grin

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 19:22

Too many people these days do it all in reverse, then wonder why they have to rent!

I don't think anybody who rents wonders why they have to rent. I know exactly why I have to rent. If I could buy I would but it's not that simple

OP posts:
Niamhisnotarealname · 14/09/2017 19:26

It's your home but it's not your house! Do you have reason to believe they want to sell? If not your being really paranoid. It's also something out of your control so when you rent property (as do i) you just have to not get too attached and be prepared to move ie always having money standing by for deposits and moving costs.

Don't get me wrong if be bloody annoyed if our landlords wanted to sell, it's inconvenient and stressful and downright fucking annoying but I do realise I have no say over the matter so just need to be prepared should it happen.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 19:34

How do you not get attached to where you live though, especially if you've been there years? And there's no end in sight with regards to buying?

I find it different now I have DD too. I think because it's her home too, I feel far more attached than I did to the flat I rented for nearly 10 years before having her.

OP posts:
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