Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was an outrageous request from our landlord and to be a bit suspicious?

398 replies

pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:24

We rent our house and have been here for 3 years, so it is very much our home.

Some background. The landlords aren't buy to lets, they inherited this house and we are the first tenants. Before letting they completely refurbished the property - new bathrooms, kitchens, windows, carpets, roof extension, the lot. They did it themselves to a high standard and it's lovely. I can imagine that they're proud of it (relevant)

We have a good relationship with them. They're not local but come down to see family sometimes and tend to use the opportunity to do any maintenance that needs doing. Recently they've been sprucing up the exterior.

Onto the outrageous request! She text me yesterday and explained that she was coming down with a girlfriend who knew the house as it was before, and would love to see what it looks like now. And could they come round today so the friend could have a look round the house.

I feel pretty disgruntled. This is our home and of course I don't want a complete stranger traipsing around looking at it out of curiosity. Surely as a landlord once a property has tenants, you leave them be unless there's a real reason. We have annual inspections with the leggings agency which is bad enough, but obviously accept as being part and parcel of renting.

I also feel a bit paranoid. It seems such an unreasonable thing to even ask that I'm concerned there could be an ulterior motive. Perhaps the friend is an estate agent who could cast an informal eye. I'd like to think that if they had plans to sell that they'd be upfront, but you never know.

They do have photos of the house as they were used in the original advert - can't they just show the friend those?! Why would the friend herself want to impose upon strangers in their home?!

I politely replied that it wasn't convenient today. But should I be concerned?

OP posts:
BackieJerkhart · 14/09/2017 09:48

I don't think it's outrageous. My house is a new build and my LL actually lives in a far flung country. Someone manages the property for her (I have no interaction with LL) and she had never actually seen it until i had been living her for 6 months so when the property manager said LL was visiting and asked to see the house I thought it a perfectly normal request and said no problem.

MrsOverTheRoad · 14/09/2017 09:48

I agree....if it was genuinely that she wanted to show her friend the house, it wasn't quite outrageous....bloody stupid though.

It's a reminder to her tenants that the house isn't theirs. That someone else thinks they can just visit...even with prior notice.

Walking around as though it were theirs.

Which it IS but not really. Not while there are people paying to live in it!

littlebird77 · 14/09/2017 09:49

You are absolutely not being mean.

It is your home, and it needs to feel like your home! You are paying for it. If it is inherited and precious then they shouldn't be letting it out in the first place and making money from it!! Annoying for you and way too over familiar.

I think you need to get this relationship back onto a professional footing. Limit your texts, keep them brief and to the point, or don't send any at all from now unless you have to. Ask for the work on the house to stop as you are quite happy with how it looks now, and are looking forward to some peace and quiet (can make an excuse if you want to, such as medical reasons)

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 14/09/2017 09:49

I'm going to go against the grain & say that I can see where the request may have innocently come from. This doesn't mean you have to agree to the visit however.

My siblings & I sold our old family home (DPs house) after DM's death. It required quite a bit of modernisation that we had neither the time, money or inclination to do ourselves. The house was purchased by friends of a friend of mine, who have now completely refurbished and renovated the place. Every time I see the mutual friend (friend of both myself & the new owners), she asks me whether I've been round to see what they've done with the place. Friend is insistent that the new owners would not mind one bit. Although I have a natural interest in knowing what they've changed (apparently it's fabulous!), I would never consider knocking the door and asking to look! It would be an alien concept to me - it's not my house anymore. However, the fact that my (actually lovely) friend thinks this would be OK, makes me think that some people might be happy with it.

So, in short, no - no need to agree but it isn't necessarily a suspicious request. This may just be a friend from childhood who LL wants to show the house off to. LL obviously still views the house very much as hers/his than as an investment.

SusanTheGentle · 14/09/2017 09:53

Amateur landlords are just as bad as professional landlords, in a different way. She probably is being totally innocent but just completely not getting that this isn't her business investment inheritance, it's your home.

But I agree with the PP who suggested this, I would also ask her outright if they're planning to sell - her reaction will give you plenty of information.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:54

*She wants to sell.

I am a long term tenant of various properties. Amateur landlords do shit like this.*

The fact that they've done a lot of work to the exterior recently makes me worried this is the case. They've done work to the roof and guttering, painting etc

OP posts:
MrsOverTheRoad · 14/09/2017 09:54

How long have you lived there and how long is your tenancy agreement for?

MrsOverTheRoad · 14/09/2017 09:55

Oh I see it's three years. Have they made any improvements recently?

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:55

We've been here just over 3 years and we're out of contract now on a rolling periodic tenancy.

OP posts:
GrumpyOldBag · 14/09/2017 09:56

I think YABU to think it's "outrageous" and be "suspicious".

It sounds as if your landlords are good (and you should not undervalue that) but not very experienced. They obviously think they have a better relationship with their tenants than you do.

However, of course you don't need to agree to the visit and if you want to keep things on a purely professional basis then you need to make that absolutely clear.

You should take the request at face value and absolutely not read any more into it than that. No need for concern.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:56

Yep to the exterior

OP posts:
MrsOverTheRoad · 14/09/2017 09:57

Oh yes! I see AGAIN that it was recent!

OP....prepare for them to sell. :(

It's shit I know.

Ask her to level with you.

Ask her to be honest...and if she reassures you that it's not an issue and they have no selling plans,

Ask for a longer contract. IF she's lying then she won't want that.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 14/09/2017 09:58

I don't think she's 'up to something' I think she just wanted to show her friend how the house looks & feels now, seeing photos isn't the same as being back in the house again. Just because the friend doesn't live near now doesn't mean she didn't grow up there & spend a lot of time in the house. I wouldn't have minded at all.

Of course it's your right to say 'no', but they sound like nice people, renting out a family home that means a lot to them & they sound like the sort of people who would fix anything that needed fixing quickly & not mess you around. I think it would be nice to let them bring their friend around.

Twickerhun · 14/09/2017 10:02

Fwiw - We have a similar property. We need to sell soon due to the changes in tax and mortgage off set. It's no longer financially viable for us to keep the house. But I wouldn't bother to do massive renovations to sell - I'd not recoup back the costs. I wouldn't tell the tennants yet that I'm planning to sell.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 14/09/2017 10:03

I've just read your last few posts.

Maybe they do want to sell. Who knows? If they do, saying 'no' isn't going to change that. I'd go for saying 'yes' and ask her face to face when she brings her 'friend' around and if she says no, tell her you'd like to sort out another long term rental agreement - see what she says.

Sunnyshores · 14/09/2017 10:07

You are benefitting in some ways by LL treating you as a 'friend-tenant'. I would think carefully about whether it will benefit you more (other than this one time) to move the relationship to a more professional one.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 10:07

I know that if they are planning on selling that saying no to the visit won't change that, but I get to maintain my privacy and not have to feel like I need to do extra cleaning!

OP posts:
CaptainHammer · 14/09/2017 10:08

You aren't being mean! I'd have said no too.

Sadly with renting there's always the chance the landlord will want to sell at some point. Hopefully they don't in your case.

expatinscotland · 14/09/2017 10:08

You're paying them money to live there. If they want it to be the family home they need to move into it themselves. Your renting the property is a business transaction, not a personal one. They are not friends, they are landlords you pay money to for the hire of the property. You are not being mean to say no to some random stranger traipsing through your home or unkind by saying no. My guess is she wants to sell but keep you sweet so the money's rolling in until they get a buyer, then you're out on your kiester.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 10:11

That's my fear expat. They've said before that they're lucky to have us as tenants and really they are - we pay our rent on time, keep the house immaculate and are long term. I can imagine a scenario where they wouldn't want us to know their plans prematurely

So who would the friend be then? An estate agent?

OP posts:
TheFaerieQueene · 14/09/2017 10:11

I think they are planning to sell - maybe to this person.

Alternatively this friend might be doing up a house to let and they wanted to show her how to do it.

witchofzog · 14/09/2017 10:13

As others have said, there is nothing you can do if they do intend to sell but by refusing youmight be making your own life difficult in the long run. Either they are going to sell and by being amenable to their requests they may well be more amenable to yours regarding moving dates etc. OR They do just want a trip down memory lane and you agreeing means they will be more agreeable to any future requests from you. If the house is tidy with no pets likely to escape etc is it really going to inconvenience you so much to have this lady look at the kitchen and bathroom etc. Either you are at work or if you are in you just need to do what you normally do. You don't need to go out.

However I do understand the worry about selling the property. If I were you I would allow this and use it as an opening to ask the question. At least you will know then

Hippee · 14/09/2017 10:13

I don't think there's necessarily anything sinister in the request - people are always asking to look round old family houses in "Who do you think you are?" - people are basically nosey.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 14/09/2017 10:14

@pinkowl, you're not paranoid, or being unfair, this is your home, and you're keeping it real.
You need to speak to your LL, and ask the question, if they are considering selling, you need to know.
It's the not knowing, that's the problem.

viques · 14/09/2017 10:15

I don't think it is sinister. I think you have a first time , possibly a bit naive, landlord who has refurbished a family home to a high standard, is proud of what they have done, has a good relationship with a tenant and wants to show the property off to an old friend who knew the house when it was a family home. I can understand you refusing because it is your home, but I don't think the request is suspicious, just rather lacking forethought.

Swipe left for the next trending thread