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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was an outrageous request from our landlord and to be a bit suspicious?

398 replies

pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:24

We rent our house and have been here for 3 years, so it is very much our home.

Some background. The landlords aren't buy to lets, they inherited this house and we are the first tenants. Before letting they completely refurbished the property - new bathrooms, kitchens, windows, carpets, roof extension, the lot. They did it themselves to a high standard and it's lovely. I can imagine that they're proud of it (relevant)

We have a good relationship with them. They're not local but come down to see family sometimes and tend to use the opportunity to do any maintenance that needs doing. Recently they've been sprucing up the exterior.

Onto the outrageous request! She text me yesterday and explained that she was coming down with a girlfriend who knew the house as it was before, and would love to see what it looks like now. And could they come round today so the friend could have a look round the house.

I feel pretty disgruntled. This is our home and of course I don't want a complete stranger traipsing around looking at it out of curiosity. Surely as a landlord once a property has tenants, you leave them be unless there's a real reason. We have annual inspections with the leggings agency which is bad enough, but obviously accept as being part and parcel of renting.

I also feel a bit paranoid. It seems such an unreasonable thing to even ask that I'm concerned there could be an ulterior motive. Perhaps the friend is an estate agent who could cast an informal eye. I'd like to think that if they had plans to sell that they'd be upfront, but you never know.

They do have photos of the house as they were used in the original advert - can't they just show the friend those?! Why would the friend herself want to impose upon strangers in their home?!

I politely replied that it wasn't convenient today. But should I be concerned?

OP posts:
ScipioAfricanus · 14/09/2017 09:27

I don't think they are necessarily up to something with this request - just being CF. It's ridiculous to expect to be able to have a look at a house that's being rented out. But I could see how some personalities would not see it as the invasion of privacy it is.

EddChinasVagina · 14/09/2017 09:27

You are not being unreasonable, that's a ridiculous request. It's your home for the duration of your tenancy and you have the right to quiet enjoyment.

jellyandsoup · 14/09/2017 09:28

I would just say no, you have plans today and that it is not possible. Totally unreasonable I agree.

MatildaTheCat · 14/09/2017 09:28

I don't think there's anything dodgy or even particularly outrageous about this. They aren't professional LLs and they sound excellent. If you can't stand the thought then you decline, as you have.

Many people have deep attachments to property and their memories of the past. I'm sure they just wish to have a wander down memory lane. Since they sound so good I would allow it but add that it would be a one off as you do value your privacy.

Whinesalot · 14/09/2017 09:30

YANBU but if you have a good relationship so far, is it worth rocking the boat?
If they are intending to sell anyway then they will- with or without this visit. In fact obstructing them will make them colder and more unemotional to selling.

zzzzz · 14/09/2017 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainHammer · 14/09/2017 09:31

I agree with Matilda.
Has your landlord replied to you saying no?

specialsubject · 14/09/2017 09:33

I'm a landlord and that is outrageous. Inspections of property twice a year are not, but this plan is. Say no.

existentialmoment · 14/09/2017 09:35

I don't think its a particularly outrageous request but you are perfectly fine to say no to it.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:35

She replied that's ok. I basically just said I would be out all day at work so not really convenient - hopefully that didn't come across as obstructive!

OP posts:
DarceyBusselsNose · 14/09/2017 09:36

Its bluring the territory between business and personal. I'd hazzard a guess your LL thinks shes has agood relationship with you so much so you slip into acquaintance rather than business.

I'm all for good relations and being accomodating, but I think, on balance I'd try and put them off. But only you know if she has the potential to beome one of those land lords

CaptainHammer · 14/09/2017 09:37

Then I don't think she's up to anything suspicious, if she was she'd probably have pushed her request further rather than just saying that's ok.

DarceyBusselsNose · 14/09/2017 09:37

just said I would be out all day at work so not really convenient

Would she take that as an ideal opportunity to pop in with the spare key ?

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:40

I'd hazzard a guess your LL thinks shes has agood relationship with you so much so you slip into acquaintance rather than business.

You're right. She has said before that she sees us as "friend tenants". Of course we're not actual friends, we just have pleasant conversations when we see them. Hopefully it is just a case of this and the boundaries getting blurred for her.

OP posts:
ShoesHaveSouls · 14/09/2017 09:41

I doubt she's up to anything - yes, it's your home, so yanbu to decline. But it is her house, and I can understand her wanting to show it to a friend.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:41

Darcey she definitely wouldn't let herself in without permission. I am half expecting to see them turn up looking at the outside though!

OP posts:
Miraclesparklestars · 14/09/2017 09:41

We have annual inspections with the leggings agency

Grin Grin Grin

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:42

Lol miracle Grin

OP posts:
NoFucksImAQueen · 14/09/2017 09:44

You're being a bit mean. The properly was inherited so they'll have fond memories of it. Was it their family home? If so the friend Kay remember being around there when she was younger. Remember that, as much as you love the house she probably loves it a lot more and has done for a lot longer. I don't think it was an odd request but you were ok to say no.
I once had a lady who used to live in my house pull up outside with her friend. They were just looking from the outside but I invited her in to look. She was thrilled and sent me a card afterwards thanking me. She'd grown up there and had so many fond memories.

MrsOverTheRoad · 14/09/2017 09:45

She wants to sell.

I am a long term tenant of various properties. Amateur landlords do shit like this.

They're afraid to lose you suddenly...or before it's convenient for them.

Ask them outright...and if they say they're not selling, then ask for a longer tenancy agreement.

Namechangetempissue · 14/09/2017 09:46

I thought you were going to say she had asked if her friend could stay! I don't think her request is outrageous at all. She asked, you said no, she said fine.

thatverynightinmaxsroom · 14/09/2017 09:48

I'm a LL in a similar position to yours. This isn't something I'd ever ask of my tenants and I've always had a really good relationship with them.

MyCatIsASpy · 14/09/2017 09:48

We rented for a short time in between selling and buying another house from someone who couldn't sell their house and were moving literally a street or so away. This set of landlords spent a lot of time at our neighbours next door and we (quite literally) felt as though we were being spied upon. I think that, particularly when it has been someones home, they find it difficult to detach. I think the request is unreasonable

diddl · 14/09/2017 09:48

I don't think that it's outrageous, but if it's not convenient/you don't want it then it's fine to say no.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:48

I'm being a bit mean?! To not want a complete stranger looking around my home with less than the requisite 24 hours notice?

This wasn't the friend's family home. It was the landlord's, who has been in here numerous times over the past few years and has had plenty of opportunities to wander down memory lane. The friend isn't local so I can't imagine has any attachment to the house other than seeing it when it was being done up I'd imagine. That's what makes me paranoid.

OP posts: