Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Update - missed Grammar School application

685 replies

sososocross · 13/09/2017 11:45

So many people have kindly sent pm and a couple of update threads have been started so I wanted to update.

Firstly I really want to thank you all for your help and kindness. I was in a state and without you all I would have lost the plot. You women rule 🏅

Update: They are not letting him do the test and I have told DS. I made the choice to tell him in a vague way and simply stated that something had gone wrong and his application had not been received. I will not lie to him if he asks for more details at a later date, but I couldn't take away his chosen school and his image of his dad in one cruel swoop.

He cried and asked me to sort it out, and I told him I had tried and couldn't. I told him my alternate plans and he relaxed. I also told him I would be coming home early 2x per week from here on, and we would work together on homework, extra study or whatever he chose. If he wants to register for the 12 or 13 plus I will do all I can to assist him. Then we watched guardians of the galaxy and had big cuddle up on the sofa.

So that's where we are.

I am sorry to those I irritated by deleting the thread, I was very worried about the daily mail and any come back. I hope you understand I was having a crisis and listed inappropriate details which could identify my son on the thread.

Please don't mention school details on this thread as I'd rather it all remain anonymous for his sake.

Thanks again for all the kindness, it meant the world to me.

OP posts:
thecatfromjapan · 19/10/2017 18:53
Smile
Margomyhero · 19/10/2017 18:57

Hooray!! Well done to your DS.

Enjoy the Nandos Smile

purplecorkheart · 19/10/2017 19:01

That is brilliant. I am thrilled for him and you. Have a wonderful evening.

Rightsaidmabel · 19/10/2017 19:03

Well done that boy and you know what? Well done those parents!
What a mum to handle this so well and dad did step up(and how can we know how hard he's worked to get where he is now) and retrieve the disaster.The very best to all the family.

lunar1 · 19/10/2017 19:11

Congratulations!!!

Original poster
sososocross · 19/10/2017 19:39

Awwww thanks everyone! Thanks so much

He worked so hard and did deserve it so much. I'm in trouble for having a glass of wine and then crying in Nandos! It's just wonderful. We're going to stay up late and watch POWER RANGERS!

OP posts:
NewMinouMinou · 19/10/2017 19:43

Good lad!
Made up for you. There may be something in my eye...

CoraPirbright · 19/10/2017 19:45

Just so thrilled for you soso. Massive congratulations to you and soso jnr.

procrastinationsupremo · 19/10/2017 19:50

That's bloody brilliant news soso!! You're exactly the kind of parent I hope I'll grow up to be (I'm 40, but a newish parent with a lot to learn!).

ScissorBow · 19/10/2017 20:00

So pleased for your whole family! It must seem like a double victory given the hurdles you had to overcome. Huge congratulations to your son.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/10/2017 20:04

Oh this is so nice to read, I’ve been thinking about the original thread loads and then up pops this lovely update!

OP, you’re a brilliant family. Goes to show that we can all fuck up at times and then get back on track. The way you and your DS handled it was AMAZING!

One question. Will you ever tell your DS what actually happened though?!

MrsLupo · 19/10/2017 20:07

Lovely news. Congratulations to your DS, soso, for his resilience and character as much as his excellent exam result.

Original poster
sososocross · 19/10/2017 20:13

A few people have asked if I'll ever tell him and I don't think I will to be honest. Him and his dad are so close and I think it's devastating to deal with your parents inadequacies at any age - not just when you're young.

He did say he was pleased the school sorted out 'their mistake' and let him do the test. I really didn't think he'd pass and then peopole told me that his preferred school was the harder one of the 2 to get into so I thought he didn't stand a chance with all the prep schools around. He worked so hard and this is vindication!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 19/10/2017 20:15

Him and his dad are so close and I think it's devastating to deal with your parents inadequacies at any age - not just when you're young.

I agree. It affects children's self-image and he got in anyway. Just make sure DH doesn't relax again!

Original poster
sososocross · 19/10/2017 20:15

Is it bad that I want to email that horrible Tory blog and tell them to piss off because he passed! That horrible article has stuck in my brain for some weird reason. Bastards! Anyway, I guess DS success is the ultimate revenge :)

OP posts:
strongasmeringue · 19/10/2017 20:17

Fabulous news! My three are all at Grammars and I remember the stress. With one of them they were never in doubt about passing but you don't really know. Anything could go wrong. She scored more than anyone ever had. I handed it all over to dh as I couldn't cope with the stress of remembering to do all the admin. But your son has been the star here, he's carried on working and you've been the stardust supporting him all the way. Your dh has been a prat. It has to be dealt with. It can't just be swept away after all the stress and upset of the day of discovery.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/10/2017 20:18

Yes it’s probably a good idea never to tell him. Really, what would it achieve? Your DS got in on his own merit, genuinely, and that’s all that he needs to understand about the situation.

Original poster
sososocross · 19/10/2017 20:21

MrsTP - Thanks for coming back :)

I think DH and I have accepted that I need to manage this sort of important task. He made a series of errors including this and not MOTing the car!

He needs help, we both know it. But accessing support seems impossible and he's very scared of trauma therapy that will bring up his childhood. He is doing his best, I know, and he's so happy now, in his party hat dancing to the Power Rangers theme like a 10 year old :)

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/10/2017 20:24

Ps you’re an AWESOME parent. How easy it would have been in your anger to tell your son that it was his dad who fucked up. But you realised that would have ultimately just been harmful to your son. Imagine if you’d have told him, it may have caused him extra stress, he could have failed the exam.

And your DH has had the chance to make things right. As long as he doesn’t make it into a positive thing in his fAvour, you’ll be fine. He has just fixed the problem that shouldn’t have happened in the first place. There should be no praise for his “getting it back” and if he can realise that then you have a chance of moving on.

PinkSnowAndStars · 19/10/2017 20:26

Yay!!! Well done!!!

CoolCarrie · 19/10/2017 20:28

That is bloody marvellous news, well done to your lad and to you sososo!

HopefulHamster · 19/10/2017 20:32

Congrats!

ajandjjmum · 19/10/2017 20:32

Fantastic - well done your DS - and to you and your DH, for showing him how to be determined and overcome obstacles.

(And maybe your DH has learned a valuable lesson too?)

Flowers
Corneliasedet · 19/10/2017 20:39

Oh my word! I've followed this since the beginning of your first thread. I'm crying for you and your DS. So, so well done to him and to you. How amazing.

bluebump · 19/10/2017 20:54

Great news! Well done to your DS, all of his hard work really paid off! Hope he enjoyed his Nandos.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread