AIBU to have a go at my neighbour over heating

[Firstimefreaked]

I have a new born and I woke up earlier and the flat was warm so I opened my window which is a ground floor flat after about an hour it's boiling in the living room but I thought it could be hormones so Got the themomitor and measured the room temp it was nearly flipping 30 degrees which doesn't make sense as the neighbour is out and it 15 this eve...she left her heating on full blast even tho she's gone out probs since 3 ish and she's just gotten back would AIBU to have a go at her? All my windows are wide open and its 24 atm the baby was dangerously hot. There was probably cues that she was hot but I'm a first time mum and a bit naive I wil be more aware in the future but she was not wearing lots of clothes nor did I think her heating would be on when she was out on a reasonably warm day.

I know I might be being silly but I was so scared!!! I'm in tears giving her formula even tho she's meant to on bf now....

I wouldn't have a go at her, just mention it. I doubt she wants to be burning money up when she isn't in the house anyway.

Yabu to 'have a go at her'!!!

Doubt she did it on purpose..... your baby is your responsibility!

I'm confused.
How is the neighbour controlling the temperature in your flat?
If you are on the ground floor, it can't even be heat rising.
Does she control the heating for the whole block or something ?

Yabu and a bit silly.

Yes, I'm not sure how her heating affects you either tbh!

And anyway, it's her choice if she wants heating on 'full blast'!

Why shouldn't she?

Eh? How can herbgeating make your house hot?

You can politely talk to her, but having a go would be way way way out of order.
Heat rises, she can't help that her heating will inevitably affect your home, and you can't expect her to not use her own heating or have her flat colder than she is comfortable.

Being a first time Mam is tough.. if your neighbour lives above you it's unlikely her heating is affecting your flat.. also giving formula rather than bm is fine too

That makes no sense.

sorry i misread that SHE has the ground floor flat. My house has absolutely never been affected by neighbours either side, underneath is all that would make sense.

Most of us new mum's have something like this that freaks us out but in the outside you can see it's all ok. Remember back in June most mothers with newborns were dealing with night time room temps in excess of 27.

I touch her chest or back to see if she feels hot. If so you can take a layer off. Plenty of kids just sleep in their nappies if needs must which I doubt they will in 24 degrees.

Formula is fine. A change in routine is not going to scar her for life, she's feeding, that's great!

Don't have a go at your neighbour, no idea how the heat is reaching you but you don't know it's the source or if it's intentional. Deep breath, focus on your baby.

Although I live in a terraced house..I'm in the middle of two lovely neighbours who feel the cold all year long.. so I benefit from their warm houses in the winter

How do you know what temp she set her thermostat at? (Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)

I think in this case YABU.

As much as we should be considerate to neighbours, expecting them to regulate the temperature of their own home with us in mind is a step too far.

Neighbours heating won't effect your property that much. Maybe switch on a fan to cool the room down a bit more. Also don't worry too much. There are lots of people who live in very hot climates and thir babies are absolutely fine.

Oh sweetheart! Do t worry, you know you have been silly panicking over this- you say so yourself! Just open a window and take the covers off baby make sure baby isn't in a draft. DONT worry about the formula. I couldn't BF so premature DD had to have lovely cow and gate. She was fine, she thrived and she slept through nice and early cos her tummy was always full. It's normal to panic with your baby. I always think of something I read once which was along the lines of " first baby gets its own set of flannels which are washed after every use. Second baby just gets his face wiped with first baby's grey looking flannel. Third baby gets a lick of the dishcloth" . And it's true, you are very precious over your first. Dont beat yourself up, baby is fine. And give yourself a pat on the back for noticing the temp was up and doing something about it. Remember ' cold babies cry' , so always better for baby to be cool than too hot. Just use your common sense- now have a drink and get to sleep. Night night!

How do you know what temp she set her thermostat at? (Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)

The OP said the temperature is her flat was 30 and outside was 15.

OP, it was probably just a mistake or her heating might actually be broken or something. I'd mention it to be helpful but I'm sure your baby is fine. Maybe keep a thermometer in your room that you can look at to reassure yourself.

Don't overworrying, I agree with pp. Remember that babies still sleep at night in hotter countries, like Spain, Italy, etc. Temperatures can be easily over 30 degrees. Well done for noticing and opening windows. You can just have a thin sheet on your baby tonight, with just nappies or a vest if it's still that hot.

I had to give my DC formula because I couldn't breastfeed. All my family was formula-fed. My DH's family was formula-fed too. All fine.

I think you are a great mum, you want to do what's best and are trying to protect your child in all fronts.

*overworry

Yes, you would be unreasonable.
It is none of your businesses how hot your neighbour has her flat.
If she wants to leave her heating on wben she goes out thats up to her.
Maybe she leaves it on so its warm when she gets back?
Think about it this way, would you be happy if you were in her shoes and someone wanted to speak to you about what you do in your flat?
Its hard being a first time mom, if you think its a bit to hot, you've done the right thing, open windows, get a fan, put her nearer the window, just don't ask your neighbour to turn her heating down!
Best thing though, stop worrying! You're doing fine.

It's 15 outside so why with my windows open is my flat 30? She must have the temp very high for a long time I might just mention it and ask her if she needs help lowering the temp on her boiler for her heating. We are the only two flats in the building. Think it's more I got a scare tbh.

When I moved in my boiler for the radiator was set at 38 probably for quick drying clothes.

Have you read any of the the replies you got first ?

Where is her flat in relation to yours? I don't understand how it could have such an impact on your flat.

Fwiw DD has before slept in just a nappy. We've even put her down with a damp muslin to draw some heat from her in the height of summer. Just don't leave it on them for too long.

But its none of your business! Its up to her if she has it that hot.
What if someone came to you and sAid you needed to have your house a certain temp?
You'd rightly tell them to get lost.