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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to have a go at my neighbour over heating

145 replies

Firstimefreaked · 13/09/2017 00:20

I have a new born and I woke up earlier and the flat was warm so I opened my window which is a ground floor flat after about an hour it's boiling in the living room but I thought it could be hormones so Got the themomitor and measured the room temp it was nearly flipping 30 degrees which doesn't make sense as the neighbour is out and it 15 this eve...she left her heating on full blast even tho she's gone out probs since 3 ish and she's just gotten back would AIBU to have a go at her? All my windows are wide open and its 24 atm the baby was dangerously hot. There was probably cues that she was hot but I'm a first time mum and a bit naive I wil be more aware in the future but she was not wearing lots of clothes nor did I think her heating would be on when she was out on a reasonably warm day.

OP posts:
HeebieJeebies456 · 13/09/2017 02:47

It's 15 outside so why with my windows open is my flat 30?

Really? How old are you?

Your furnishings, electrics (such as TV/fridge/fish tank etc), the insulation in your walls and your own body temperature contribute to the overall temperature inside your home.

I highly doubt it's your neighbours heating that's causing yours to overheat....

StatelessPrincess · 13/09/2017 02:50

I wouldn't mention it OP, unless this is a one off it could actually be a good thing, you'll save yourself a fortune in the winter. When my dd was born we lived in a very hot country, it was 40 degrees most days and we had no air con, dd slept in just her nappy and I had a fan, your baby will be fine, dont worry, if you think she feels too hot you can use a cool damp flannel to bring her temperature down too.

Whenwillwe3meetagain · 13/09/2017 02:59

Baby was 'dangerously hot'? So was he/she lethargic, struggling to breath, sweaty?

Florrieboo · 13/09/2017 03:36

My son was born in an Australian summer - it was 41 degrees the day he was born. We didn't have air con and he is a fine strapping 9 year old now. Don't say a word to your neighbour, it really is up to her how warm she keeps her own flat.

blueberrypie0112 · 13/09/2017 04:20

I was reading how a toddler died in her own room because her parents thought A/C reach all rooms but it was weak her room and the toddler's room was facing in the direct sunlight (overheating- similar to hot car death)

But I think your badly is alright. But do what you can to keep your flat from overheating

HiJenny35 · 13/09/2017 04:21

Try reading what everyone else has said. YABU YABU YABU YABU YABU ITS NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS! She can have her flat at whatever temperature she likes. Your flat was hot because your flat was hot, open a window. Do not speak to her, she will think you are a nutter at best and very rude otherwise.
Your baby is fine. Stop being dramatic. Christ help us all when it gets time for schools!

Baileyscheesecake · 13/09/2017 04:25

OP I totally empathise with you. Don't have a go at her but do mention that your flat was unusually warm and ask if she thinks it could have been affected by the heating in her flat and ask if she accidentally left it on while she was out. Flats are structurally different to houses - people who have been so negative towards you may not realise how living in such close proximity can impact on a neighbour's property. Your walls could be a lot thinner than those between a standard semi-detached or terraced house. Just politely asking the question may make her aware of a potential issue and she may be understanding about it. It all depends on how you word it - don't be accusing her or dictate to her what temperature she should set her heating at - but just ask if she thinks that the heating in her flat could have a knock on effect on yours. Good luck - I hope you get the problem sorted Flowers

liminality · 13/09/2017 04:40

um, yes, okay, as an australian, this is a very weird thread. 27 degrees? And you're having a panic attack?

Don't ever come to visit us, we'll terrify you (average winter temp where I live 20 deg)
And all the babies live through it

ICJump · 13/09/2017 04:48

Yes my house regular hit 39 inside over summer. New born slept in a nappy and a muslin weight sleeping bag ( to stop his body getting sweaty while feeding).

If your downstairs neighbor can really hear you place I'd keep quite and enjoy the low winter bills at you place.

MayCatt · 13/09/2017 05:04

OP, I think some of the harsh replies you've gotten are from people who've forgotten what it's like to be a new first time mum and have never lived somewhere that gets effected by neighbours heating. I can understand your panic, it must have been very worrying to think your baby was overheating, especially as it was when you were sleeping and thought you could finally relax a little.

I would mention (politely) to your neighbour that you've got a newborn and explain what happened tonight. Hopefully (s)he'll be extra considerate given the circumstance.

Good luck OP, you're doing a great job!

MiddleClassProblem · 13/09/2017 05:15

Just checking that you have checked your own heating isn't broken too

silkybear · 13/09/2017 05:20

Are you ok op, you don't sound like you are coping? It isn't rational to think the heating from another flat is heating yours if you are on the ground floor. Why are you giving formula if you usually bf? Are you worried baby is dehydrated? Breast milk is as hydrating as formula so no need to panic. sounds like your baby is fine just feel their neck and take a layer off as needed. check all of your radiators in case one is turned up high by mistake and check its not your own heating that has clicked on automatically while asleep. Pls make an app to see your gp tommorow, you sound very anxious and it could be pnd or similar. you must realise this isn't a standard reaction and confronting neighbours isn't the solution as it isn't their fault. good luck op.

coffeekittens · 13/09/2017 05:29

Yabu. Heat rises so unless she's growing weed in their I highly doubt that it's her heating causing this.

Windows open, fan on.

No need to cry over formula it's milk for babies, babies drink milk.

TsunamiOfShit · 13/09/2017 05:36

Yabu. Heat rises

No it doesn't.

Hot air rise but air shouldn't be seeping through the ceiling anyway. Other types of heat can go any direction so if the upstairs neighbour has got underfloor heating with insufficient insulation underneath it will heat up OPs flat.

But yes OP, YABU. Don't complain to you neighbor and hope your baby is ok.

ScaryMonstersAndSuoerCreeps · 13/09/2017 07:30

My first thought was lucky you. You won't by have to put your heating on when it is cold!!

flumpybear · 13/09/2017 07:35

Fmdefinitely don't 'have a go' at her - just talk to her and explain

As for your baby, if it's hot then take layers off, open windows etc, see if your baby will bf in case skies thirsty

Good luck

Foxtrot92 · 13/09/2017 07:52

YABU to mention it to your neighbour and I'm sorry, but if a neighbour came up to me and suggested I turn my heating down because their baby was getting too hot, I'd laugh in their face.

My DD was born in the summer last year during a heat wave. Our rooms were 30C most nights despite windows being open all day. We lived in a ground floor flat so leaving the windows open at night wasn't an option and DD wouldn usually sleep in a short sleeved vest and a Muslin square.

BabsGanoush · 13/09/2017 07:58

Are you first time home owner as well, as your neighbours heating WILL NOT affect the heat in your home. Thats not how it works (unless you share a heating system).

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 13/09/2017 08:00

When I lived in a terrace we noticed how much colder it was when the houses either side stood empty for a winter.

coddiwomple · 13/09/2017 08:00

Your baby was kept at 37 degrees all his life until very recently...

I still would love to know how the neighbours'heating impact on your own property so much!

Bluntness100 · 13/09/2017 08:01

I don't really understand either. You're in the ground floor flat. Where is she, above you? It would be unlikely her hearing was heating your flat and to this extent. I'm not even sure it's possible actually.

Are you alone with the baby? Do you have any support?

Skittlesss · 13/09/2017 08:05

Free heating! Don't complain as you'll save loads of money if she does this regularly.

Just pop baby to bed in a vest if it's really hot.

Don't stress or get upset... it's not worth it x

AJPTaylor · 13/09/2017 08:05

If somehow her flat has a magic ability to transfer heat away from hers into yours just look forward to winter.

Fwiw we have just moved. The difference between this house built a few years ago and our old 1970s one is amazing. We constantly go to turn the heating off and realise it is not on and have to open windows

PerfumeIsAMessage · 13/09/2017 08:07

You would be unreasonable to "have a go" at anyone. You sound 14.

Most of us have been first-time-mums at some point, but not many of us think our neighbours should also think their world revolves around our kid. It doesn't.

And as others have said, how would you even know any of what you say? What her thermostat is set to? That it's even her flat causing yours to be hot?

Totally ludicrous.

LineysRunner · 13/09/2017 08:13

Maybe the OP's flat is sited over a dormant volcano.

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